Scene: RE and I are sitting at the kitchen table having a chat over our breakfast.
TD: Mommy, you are going to live longer than Daddy.
V: I am? Why do you say that?
TD: Beee-cawsz YOU are one of US! (as she looks across the room at her younger sister.)
Maybe all those Newsweek, Economist magazines and newspapers they pretend to read are actually infiltrating their young minds.
I can be a bit of a control freak. I like things to be done certain ways and when they aren't well, I tend to get a bit, uh, testy. You are sitting there completely shocked right now, I know.
When The Comedian started eating cereal straight from the bag yesterday morning I looked at her and TD and declared it, "Totally Untamed Tuesday!" I was going to just let things go. For a day. My friend, Kristen would say I was letting go of my "New England hang-ups sensibilities". So I let the kids eat cereal out of the bag. I let them put cereal in sippy cups with milk and try to eat it that way. We made an impromptu trip to "Crazy Town" as TD calls it and when the book store we were visiting wasn't open yet (an hour late!) I just 'Meh'd' it and we took a walk.
OK, I got a little testy. The Comedian was in underpants I didn't know how long I could walk around a town that hates stroller people and doesn't have easy access to a bathroom. But nothing happened. We had a walk and a trip to the bookstore and then I went a step further and we had cupcakes with juice boxes all before lunch.
It's Totally Untamed Tuesday! We be getting wild and crazy up in this joint, yo! Like Bree Van de Kamp wild. Except, without the guns.
I even let The Fifth Element eat play-doh. It was that kind of day. Today we are back on schedule, no wacky Wednesday's. I don't want to give myself a coronary or stroke or have yogurt paint on my walls, you know. Besides, Totally Untamed Tuesday totally wore our asses out.
It's a busy here. Actually, when isn't it busy here? I've got three kids under five. One of which does all of the following and more in a single day-
"Mom! The Comedian has food coloring!" Yes, she did. I entered the kitchen just as she was about to squeeze out drops of yellow food coloring onto the kitchen floor. Next to her feet was an uncorked bottle of wine she had also seized from the pantry. I don't know what kind of party she had in mind but I wasn't down with it.
That same day she clogged the upstairs bathroom with toilet paper and then proceeded to take all the paper out and throw it on the bathroom walls. Before I even got to that I had to pick up an unopened box of ob tampons that were all over the bathroom floor and in the tub.
The tub. She got in it at 5 a.m. and was stomping around throwing tub toys. No, it didn't have water in it. Give me some credit.
She found a stray orange marker and "stripe-ped" the den carpet with it. Also her face, hands and soles of her feet.
It sounds like I don't watch her and let her run around like an aimless barnyard chicken but when you are going from one mess to the other trying to clean it up she is paces ahead creating another snafu. Throw in a dog, high maintenance preschooler ("But I want to make Valentine princesses and glittery heart flowers with you NOW! While jumping on the couch and cuddling and brushing my hair! Can we please!?! Why isn't Curious George on?") and a three month-old who likes to have her diaper changed and be fed in all this mayhem and it's overwhelming.
Now is where I should insert that line about "it being all worth it." It is, right? Tell me it is. Because when I'm cleaning up dog poop from my old ass dog (heh) who can't quite always keep it in her rear or make it outside, wiping two butts and doling out Bunny crackers like a corner dealer in Hamsterdam I seriously have to wonder. How is this shaping America's future? Am I even remotely doing this whole parenting thing right because I feel like I'm involved in some sort of government experiment instead.
It occurred to me the other day as I was jammin' out to some funk music (p-funk, g-funk, disco-inspired, 80s stripped, whatever I can't get enough) in my grocery getter that I am subjecting my kids to music that is akin to what my grandparents made me listen to as a child. Back then, in the 80s with all its big hair and synthesizers spinning like a record right around the Top 40 dial, they would sit back in the cushy boat-sized beige car and play Big Band sounds. Ah, the 1940s.
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Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post from February 27, 2008.
My daughter turned two this weekend. Yes, I know, it is hard to believe. I can barely wrap my brain around it either. However, you know what the hardest part of her turning two was for me? It was- To have a party or not to have a party? It was the ultimate question on my mind. What would people think if we opted out of this birthday milestone? Would we be labeled as bad, unloving parents?
I drove myself mad with this conundrum. I wanted so badly for her birthday to go right I kind of freaked out. There were blog posts about it. I consulted friends and family. Everyone had an opinion and an idea of what I should be doing or forgetting all together. When it came right down to it I felt like my husband and I would be pretty bad parents if we went, what I call the "70s route".
The "70s Route" is a term I use whenever I refer to how things were done when I was a kid. Meaning, no big fuss, usually family-oriented and things were simple. I sometimes think my whole parenting style could be some bad retro comedy in itself except that I'm wearing 'flared' or 'boot-cut' jeans and not bell bottoms.
But I digress...
After talking it over with my husband and feeling that it would make no difference to our daughter we opted for a family day. Meaning just us. Not even grandparents. Why go nuts and spend gobs of money for a kid that did not fully absorb the concept of a birthday anyway? Instead, we made waffles for breakfast complete with extra syrup and let our cutie assist in the making of her cake. She ate raw cake batter too. Before breakfast. The shame. We took the tot to Toys R Us and had just as much fun as she did playing with balls, bikes and blocks. My spouse had to rip me from the Wii games section as I claimed to no avail that the trivia games and underwater discovery discs were for our kid and not me. We spent almost two hours wandering the aisles of this kiddie holy land until we decided to take her out for a birthday lunch. When posed with the question, "Red Robin or Thai?" She yelled out, "I eat Thai food!" So there you go.
It was a good day. Full of fun, presents (the kid got a cart of toys, clothes and more from friends and family) and good old fashioned from the box Duncan Hines cake with chocolate frosting. She wore a birthday crown and blew out her candles. She ran around the house on a sugar high yelling, "BIRTHDAY!" and I have to say I was a bit envious. That 'no care in the world' attitude is infectious but it is also hard to sustain as an adult.
It made me realize that all my fussing and analyzing over what would be the perfect way to spend her day was not only ridiculous but not about her and more about me. I cared more about how other people would view me as a parent if I didn't throw my child a party than I did about the actual day. That is not only insane but also not the '70s route' I so adore. After having all that fun in such an easy manner I've learned something. Next year? I'm not throwing a party then either. Unless of course she wants me to and if that is the case, then she can plan it.
Comments
Stephv said...
Right on for you for common sense. So much of kids stuff (comparing grades, sports teams,etc..) is for the ego feeding of the parents or the need to "look" a certain way. I say who cares?
Here in Silicon valley helicopter parenting has reached absurd
levels, preschools are chosen for their college cachet and God forbid little Katie eats a Cheetoh or anything that is not from Whole Foods.
Retro rocks.
Reply February 27, 2008 at 08:23 AM Gunfighter said...
Brava!
I think that you did the right thing.
Reply February 27, 2008 at 09:36 AM Linda said...
yes, I have to say that we've done this twice now and this is the first year...my oldest is turning four that he has even asked about a party, guests, cake, etc. We're still going the super easy route. Cake at the playground!!!
Reply February 27, 2008 at 10:20 AM Sue said...
That is MY KIND OF PARTY! Way to go. What is better than pancakes and raw cake batter for breakfast?
Another 70s mom here.
Reply February 27, 2008 at 11:20 AM Andrea said...
Good for you!! We like to keep it simple, too. No big parties. The birthday boy gets to pick what he wants for breakfast and dinner, though hubs likes to go all out on making the birthday cakes.
Reply February 27, 2008 at 01:43 PM natalie said...
Yay for the 70's route! I've got a 6-month-old, and I've found myself already thinking about how we'll celebrate his first birthday. Crazy, no? I love the family only silliness approach, and now have the perfect name for it. I keep hearing about the pressure to put together the perfect goodie bags for kids to take away from your parties - way too much stuff and way too much pressure for me! Thanks for this!
Reply February 28, 2008 at 06:49 AM Kristin DeLoach, Graco said...
I love it 70's style! That's the route my husband and I chose for our little lady. Simple, classic fun is the most memorable. Plus we wanted to keep it focused on the "guest of honor" and not everyone else.
By the way, to this day I still ask for that artifical strawberry flavored Duncan Hines cake with the bright pink strawberry icing -fortunately my mom stills obliges :)
Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:10 PM svmom3 said...
Two amazing first birthday ideas I've heard of:
a bubbles party. This one is all about the adults anyway, so pass the champagne (and have a few bottles of bubble soap for people who arrive with toddlers to play with) (I know several people who have gone this route; one who blames bubbles parties on why her kids are all spaced 1 year and 9 months apart)
a thank you ladies for your support party. Leave baby home with dad, and go out with all the women who supported you at the birth and beyond (midwife, doula, close friends, etc). go home and take photo of kid and cake later.
Reply February 28, 2008 at 03:14 PM Vicky said...
Awesome Kristen! I love the strawberry cake and frosting. That was my 6th birthday cake and I still think of it fondly!
Reply February 29, 2008 at 05:20 AM terri said...
my hubs grew up w/the full-fleged bday parties. my parents didnt have the means, just cake & candles. my hubs still smiles remembering. and i see the same in my friends' children, who would plan and anticipate months in advance. so for us, it's not keepin up with the jones, but creating these wonderous-filled moments for our children. cause to be perfectly honest, i'm alittle envious of my hubs' childhood.
Reply March 02, 2008 at 07:34 AM Violet said...
I'm so glad to hear someone else say this! My daughter turns two next week, and we're planning a day at the aquarium and a cake at home. My mother is SO disappointed with me, and thinks I'm terrible for not throwing a party, but we don't know that many kids her age, and I really don't see the point. She'll have more fun at the aquarium with us, and isn't she the one that matters?
Reply March 03, 2008 at 06:12 AM selfmademom said...
It's funny you wrote this because I have a post in queue that I will put up tonight about how I can't put on a low key birthday party no matter how hard I try. But I actually am having fun with it. I think that if it's not fun anymore then it's not worth it.
Reply March 05, 2008 at 07:05 PM children party clowns ny said...
such a very interesting post, i had fun reading it. i am sure your child's birthday party was a splash.
Cross-posted and archived DC Metro Moms post. Original date February 17, 2008. Re-reading this makes me think, "BLD! I want to go to there! Again!"
I have a confession to make. I hate kids stuff. Go ahead and tsk tsk me if you want to, that's fine, I'm used to it. If you admit to not loving spending hours putting together the same puzzle or picking up leaves in the freezing cold then I applaud you. I find nothing fun about going to fairs, going on rides, or petting zoos either. Spending the afternoon, day, or a vacation with a cartoon character is not my cup of tea. I can play puzzles, coloring and tea party just so long with my daughter before I have had my fill and I want to go read Newsweek aloud to her instead.
And truthfully? I feel just awful about it. I feel like less of a parent. I want to like doing it. I really do. I feel that it makes me a not so fun or great Mom to her just because I find these things incredibly boring. Sometimes I tell myself that maybe I am just not a little kid person and that when she is older and can converse on a higher level I will be OK. Who am I kidding though, by then she probably won't want to have anything to do with me and it will be too late.
I become paralyzed by the fact that perhaps her childhood memories will not be those of fun afternoons playing dress-up with Mommy, but of Mommy trying in vain to read her books about Richard Nixon. I continuously try and find things to do with her pint-sized self that keep my attention for more than two minutes as well. Until recently I was low on ideas. Then, I lucked out. I went to review a new gig in town and found just the thing. Baby Loves Disco.
For an entire afternoon my daughter and I spun, twirled, shook what our mommas gave us and had a blast. This went on for three hours. I didn't even notice the time. During this event I smiled more than I had in a week combined and I think my daughter did too. We played with colored scarves and ate snacks while bopping to the beat. We shook egg shakers and chased bubbles and ran ourselves ragged all over the club that Baby Loves Disco rents out for an afternoon. Finally, I felt I had found something that spoke to both of us. Dancing. Once we started dancing all silliness ensued.
I was surprised and quite pleased to stumble upon this revelation. I love to dance and I often try to dance with my daughter at home but somehow it never lasts or is as much fun. Maybe it was being out of the house and in a new environment. Maybe it was the beer I drank from the bar. Maybe it was simply the fact that surrounded by other parents just letting loose I finally surrendered to the silly in a way I often don't make time for at home. Having no other alternative but to just boogie was apparently what we as a family needed. I found myself having more fun with my husband too.
For me, this was a welcome change from the usual suburban Saturdays we tend to spend as a family. I found myself having a blast with both my spouse and my daughter. I bonded with my daughter in a way that does not happen as often as it should. I got to show a side of myself that is normally not so frequent since I became a parent and it was freeing. I realized that afternoon that I need to surrender more than just the time but also my heart and my mind more often than I actually do. It was a wake up call of sorts but one that was needed. Since that Saturday afternoon my daughter and I have spontaneous 'rock-outs' that no one else participates in. It seems she understands now what dancing is all about and it is a fun release that we both need and share.
Comments
Jill Asher said...
I missed BLD when they were out here in Northern California - but heard it was a blast!
Reply February 17, 2008 at 08:36 AM Jessica said...
Glad to hear the event is fun for parents and kids alike! The next one in DC is on April 5th: http://www.rockandhoteldc.com. Thank you for reviewing so the rest of know to definitely go!
Reply February 17, 2008 at 07:25 PM Jean said...
This sounds like a lot of fun. Almost every night after dinner we go to the living room and dance. Although it tends to turn into a mosh pit with my three guys. It's a great release.
And trust me, you're not the only mom who doesn't want to put the alphabet puzzle together for the 63rd time. It doesn't make you a bad mom; it makes you human. (And, frankly, an adult.)
Maybe we have been cooped up in the house too long because of all this winter weather. Maybe it is the seed that H repeatedly tries to plant in my head about TD branching out her set of friends. Whatever it was, we took a trip just down the road to new horizons this week.
We went to a group play date. Did your hand just fly to your mouth as you gasped in shock? I know. I broke our ridiculous and now monotanous routine of work, gym, school, work/play, neighborhood play, dinner, bed. Wake up and do it all again. Gag, snore.
I don't know why it takes me so long to do these things. I don't know why I don't schedule them myself. Oh right (smacks forehead) I hate entertaining. That's why. Hives. Hives! There would be hives. I swear if you left me alone long enough I would turn inward and probably grow a crusty shell like a hermit crab. You would find me talking to myself or a wall in a very animated conversation and eating cold soup out of can. I would be pretty content for a while too as long as I got to yell at the neighbors every few days ("Get a haircut!") and you kept me stocked with Bloody Mary mix.
Unlike most days where we have a ton of things scheduled I woke up this morning excited. I was excited about the possibilities of new friendships for TD as well as for myself. I love my neigbhorhood dearly but in the last few weeks it has become rather stale. I was about to stage at re-enactment from 'Escape from Alcatraz' any day now and I needed off our own 'rock', er, frozen tundra and off into someone else's cozy home. Judging by the happy smiles, quiet house we later came home to and content feeling we all seem to now have, I would say the kids needed it just as badly as I did. Being in someone else's home and talking to other mothers was like a breath of fresh spring air. Immediately my creativity flared and my branching out made me feel that the buds on the trees aren't too far off. When one little girl told me, "TD is welcome to play at my house anytime!" I beamed and not just for TD. I welcome the new friendships for me too.
After riding behind someone driving a Nissan Xterra who put their hazard lights on to drive through slush, grocery shopping through the holiday melee and putting up a good sweat at the gym I felt a bit addled yesterday. Wanting to beat someone for driving badly in slush is not on par for this time of year. My black heart was still neatly intact. I needed to squelch this irritable air. Fast.
I unpacked the groceries, skipping over the black ice, fed the kids lunch and then put them down for naps. Instead of running to my laptop to get work done, putting away laundry, toys or cleaning up other areas of the house and our life, I grabbed a copy of Elle and a cup of coffee. Then I sat my butt down on the couch and read the rest of the magazine, which I had been trying to do for weeks. When that was done, I put my feet up and picked up the Travel and Style & Arts section of Sunday's paper. I didn't get up and do other things halfway through it either. I refused to get distracted. I looked out the window, I sipped my next hot drink and read some more. I read until I was done.
I took a break.
Guess what? I felt immensely better too. My frame of mind was much more positive. I felt a bit like a moron for realizing that what I probably need to do is 'take a lunch break' each day instead of eating while standing as I feed the kids. When I mentioned this to H he went on about how multi-tasking doesn't work... umm.. yeah. Not exactly my point. My point is that I feel guilty for ever sitting down during the day. Even to eat. I feel that staying home with the kids and working from home isn't enough work to allow for a break. Because isn't that all I do all day anyway? You know, frolic with the kids, eat sand from the sandbox with them and make cookies all day. Why sit and collect my thoughts when I need to fold dish towels and clean
toilets, make beds, prepare food and run errands? Or try and find new work and keep up with the work I have. Oh, and those kids. I need to like read them stories and stuff. Block castles don't build themselves.
Not taking a break? It's crazy. Everyone needs it, but the guilt I feel is still there despite knowing I need it.
I woke up late today. So much for Body Pump. I fear I will never see streamlined thighs again.
I find myself running around today trying to catch falling yogurt cups before they hit the floor with a splat. Racing down the stairs with the dog who can't keep up and ends up tumbling to the landing in a yelping heap. There I am again on a work phone call, scooping cheerios off a high chair tray as I try to sound coherent and intelligent while TD yells in the background. That's just a fellow co-worker about to go postal over a PowerPoint presentation, right?
Five seconds later I'm emailing Gymboree about Bubble Camp and settling TD into a good hour of Sesame Street. Meanwhile The Comedian tries to rewire our entertainment system. I swear that child will know how to hot wire a car by age two. I think about how I haven't watched anything good in the DVR for ages and realize tuition is due for the new school year. Panting I race through our billing and write off the necessary checks. A deadline for two items looms in my not too distant future. A review is waiting in the wings.
The week started off slow with me spending quality time with the girls and I'm still trying to unpack from Blogher, process what I gathered there and organize myself and my thoughts. Do I want to go next year? Yes, I do. Can I afford it? That remains to be seen. My head feels all explodey and I haven't had nearly enough caffeine. I think I might smell and I crave a good enzyme peel.
When my husband asks me what I did during the day I can barely remember it all. It is such a blur. I remember the big things like dance class and grocery shopping but not the bazillion things I did in between. Somehow faxing W-9 forms, making phone calls, doing dishes, sorting laundry, wiping baby butts, while I invoice work and simultaneously write paragraphs in my head doesn't come up when I hit the daily recall button in my brain. The house looks like I never clean it and Blogher paper bits and swag pens litter my bedroom floor. It seems as if I'm lolling the day away perusing the stacks of magazines I acquire daily and letting the girls run wild. I wish our days were that easy but then I honestly don't think I would be happy with me. I don't know if I exactly thrive in this type of situation. I would like more order in my world but kids don't equate order. Working with kids is an equation that we are all still trying to solve. It's like Healthcare reform but more complex.
And if you still crave more Blogher09 nonsense, check this video out from Tellingdad.
You know what woke me up this morning? Myself. Then I sat there and read for almost an hour.
I completed my latest MPR review in under twenty minutes.
Make-up is strewn all over my bathroom counter and I don't have to pick it up in fear that little hands will commence their own smear campaign.
I'm meeting a friend for lunch today that I haven't seen since she visited me in the hospital with The Comedian. I don't have to be back at any time in particular.
H and I saw a movie in the middle of the day. We came home felt it was too quiet and went out for dinner. Crayons with place mats not included.
TD and The Comedian left for their Nana's yesterday. Since then H and I have had the most stupid looking grins on our faces.
I can actually hear the fan on my laptop just humming away. The quiet in my house right now is bliss.
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I was probably about eight at the time. I called myself Aubany(with an 'O' and some sort of accent on the end. Yeah, I have no idea either. I was eight.).
I thought I was Madonna with my permed hair, sunglasses and ballet skirt. I guess that was as close to the 'Like a Virgin' look my Mom would let me get at that age. And yes, I'm sportin' a yellow banana clip in my hair. On one side only. Now that is style.
I'll admit I'm a bit cantankerous today. I was up all night with TD who has a hellacious cough and the poor kid is just not herself. Combine that lack of sleep with an issue that just generally gets me riled up anyway and you've got one angry woman on your hands.
That must mean it is time for a SOAP BOX RANT! I've climbed up. Attention please! Let me begin.
I love my kids. I want what is best for them in every possible way. I want them to feel safe and secure at all times. Their welfare and health is at the tip top of my list on a daily basis. So that is why I get so steaming, hell-fire breathing mad when I read that companies that many parents have trusted for generations, companies that love to court us mommy bloggers, just really don't give a shit. There. I said it. They don't. It's all about the bottom line. Duh. I feel like they are duping the consumers. Especially when we mommy bloggers have asked repeatedly at certain events if their products are really as safe and harmless as they say. We are a skeptical lot us mothers and we protect our young with a ferocity that cannot be imagined. When we find out that chemicals that cause cancer have been pumped into our tiny babies bath soap we get angry.
Really angry. I feel like I want to rip someones jugular out today and not just because I'm feeling all sleep-deprived and primal but because I'm damn mad that the makers of these products just don't care what they do. It's all about the easiest, cheapest way to make and market the product and who cares what the general public thinks. "Put a green leaf on it boys and the moms will go mad thinking it's all-natural!" When really it's chock full of formaldehyde and 1,4-dioxane. Kiddie leukemia anyone?!
Grrr... Much teeth gnashing and I'm looking for blood.
I don't even care if it isn't my country that this is effecting though I'm quite certain that it is chemical poisoning is just as rampant in the US as it is in foreign lands. These chemicals just aren't required to be listed on our products labels according to US laws. Feel angry now? And just because it isn't in my house doesn't mean it isn't effecting me. Yet it is effecting my house because last year I got a ton of free baby bath products, kids shampoo, soap and lotion from this company. Trying to not be wasteful, especially during the time of my husband's lay off, I began using all this stuff just to save a dime. I'm almost done with all of it too. Despite my concious always eating away at me over the last few months I kept using it all too. But as of today it's all being chucked in the trash. Instead of waiting to be done with it and then going back to my safety-checked bath products I'm just going back now. No more chemicals for my kiddos. Because this?
The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, a consumer safety watchdog group, last
Friday reported that dozens of popular children’s bath products marketed in the
US contain two cancer-causing chemicals, 1.4-dioxane and
formaldehyde. Twenty-three of the 28 products tested for formaldehyde were
shown to contain the chemical, and 17 of those products contained both
formaldehyde and 1.4-dioxane. Among those were the highly popular Johnson’s
Baby Shampoo, L’Oreal Kids Extra Gentle 2-in-1 shampoo and Pampers Kandoo
foaming hand soap, which contained enough formaldehyde to trigger a skin
reaction in highly sensitive people, the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics said in its
report.
Is completely UNACCEPTABLE. I'm not just going to single one company out either because this stuff and more is in so many of the products we use on a daily basis to clean our homes and simplify our lives. I have been trying to weed items like this out for the past few years and often there are much more wallet-friendly solutions that you just need to do a bit of searching for versus always buying the sometimes expensive and not always effective green marketed products crowding our shelves these days. Don't despair and feel defeated! You can take action in some very simple ways.
What you can do:
Contrary to industry statements, there are no regulatory standards that limit formaldehyde, 1,4-dioxane or most other toxic chemicals in personal care products sold in the United States. There are signs the U.S. is gearing to catch up, but for now it's up to consumers to consider carefully before they buy. Here's some suggestions for safeguarding your family's health:
Simplify: Select products with fewer ingredients and no synthetic fragrance or dyes, and use fewer products overall.
Choose safety: Search EWG's cosmetic safety database, Skin Deep, to learn more about the products you use and find safer alternatives. Also check out EWG's Safety Guide to Children’s Personal Care Products.
Read labels: Select products for baby and yourself that don't contain the ingredients listed above, which are commonly contaminated with formaldehyde or 1,4-dioxane.
Take action! Can’t memorize these lists? Nobody can. If harmful contaminants and ingredients weren’t allowed in products, you wouldn’t have to. Tell Congress you want safe cosmetics for babies, adults and everyone in between.
Spread the word: Send an e-card letting friends and family know about this report.
Finally you don't have to be a parent to be angry about this issue. It's a matter that everyone should take to heart. It is your health after all too. Your pets as well. The more of us that take action the better off we will all be in the long run. Not only healthier but safer. And by God maybe then some of those green products will have to come down in price as well!
I know. I know. I'm all about the weird news this week but this grabbed my attention this morning as I was driving myself down the road and T.D. was in the back seat. Not I might add, driving. Because, no matter how sick I might feel? I'm not letting that crazy kid drive my tank of a car. For reals folks this actually happened.
GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Ohio -- GOSHEN TOWNSHIP, Ohio -- A police officer in Ohio said he pulled over a woman he suspected was driving drunk and found the woman's 1-year-old son steering the wheel, reported WLWT-TV in Cincinnati. Marya Green was pulled over Tuesday.
The officer said that when he came to the driver's window, he found Green's 1-year-old son at the wheel, sitting in Green's lap. Green, 29, registered a 0.11 percent blood-alcohol level. Two other children, ages 8 and 5, were also in the car. Green was arrested and faces charges of DUI, driving under OVI suspension, noncompliance and endangering children. Police said this is Green's third DUI arrest in six years. The children were released to their father.
OK, not to make light of the situation but um... why not choose the 8 year-old instead? That baby was probably like, "Geez, MOM! Not again! I know I'm cute and all but I can't be gettin' you out of tickets all the time!"
THUD!
CRASH!
BANG!
Footsteps can be heard running overhead with the sound of hysterical Joker-esque laughter following it. Yelling quickly ensues.
It sounds like an old Adam West Batman episode is at play in my house.
Aah, nap time!
That crash was her pink plastic pig. The thud? A pile of books she has unceremoniously dropped from her bed.
The bang is new. I'll have to investigate.
Some people remove all furniture from their toddler's room when these things occur. I've seen many a bare toddler room. I wonder where they put all the kids stuff. Her grandparents freak out and fear for her life and I do too a little bit but I feel that even if we removed all T.D.'s furniture she would still find some way to climb, jump and make quite a commotion.
I would have to rip the windowsill off the window and just put a bare mattress on the floor if that were the case. Her room would look like a prison cell and I would feel like the warden.
Books would be banished. Drawers would have to be emptied of all clothes, shoes, socks and diapers.
Removing the furniture would just make her more creative I fear. Her dare devil feats would take on new heights and see no limit.
My mother once described me as wily. My father's nickname was 'The Sneak'. H once popped the tire on a school bus with his head and was completely fine, he just wondered what that hissing sound was. T.D. is doomed.
She was born to be a wild child and I can do nothing but embrace it. I will remove the night stand though. The girl has to have some limits.
Yes, it's true. I have a maid. How else would I get everything done?
She's quite efficient too. When I finish my shower, there she is at the ready, holding my towel for me. She would not have it any other way. She's my lady in waiting though I have no rank.
She hands me my make-up. She holds my hairbrush and patiently waits for me to put in my hair goop.
She even doles out my lotions and other assorted face products.
She puts away the laundry. Everything in its proper place! Draws must close completely and she scolds me when I half shut them.
She is obsessive about dusting and even screams at me when I try to do it myself.
In fact, whenever I try to do anything on my own there she is trailing after me yelling, "ME HELP! ME HELP!"
If you haven't already figured it out, my daughter is the maid. T.D. loves to help. She is a real people pleaser. I am amazed at the organizational skills and need for order that this two year old child possesses. She knows where every piece of clothing goes in our house. She actually knows the difference between sports bras, tanks and regular bras, the light socks and dark and puts them away in their separates places. No mixing aloud! She becomes upset when she isn't helping and making things neat and tidy. Her memory recall for where items in our home go is absolutely spot on!
It was only recently though that I noticed this to be an actual talent or strength for her. What else can it be? Her need for order and the "everything in its place" mentality is what drives her. She is happy and excited when she does these tasks and I have no reason to stop her. I must admit, I like the help and I like seeing her so happy. The kid is positively energized when I give her washcloths to put away. Socks? She goes bonkers when she can grab a whole lot of them to shove in her very own sock basket.
While other kids like to build with blocks or play with fingerpaints. My child would rather be putting the blocks away and cannot stand the idea of messy fingers covered in wet paint. She likes to sort and categorize items and make sense of things. While sometimes her sorting and more sorting and taking things out and putting them away might seem odd it makes her happy and content and I would not have it any other way. It is what makes T.D., T.D.
Besides, who wouldn't want someone handing them their towel each day? What do you think I'm crazy?
To participate in this PBN Blog Blast, simply write a post on Friday, 2/29 (by Midnight PST) and tell us all about your own child(ren)'s strengths. There are prizes to be had! See PBN for more details and read a bit about the new Jenifer Fox book, 'Your Child's Strengths'.
Silly me. Just last week I told my mother it was a-ok to buy T.D. costumes but just NO DISNEY PRINCESSES. I said yes to fairies and would actually rather her wear something off a clearance rack from a Halloween store. Bottle of Ketchup? Sure. Hershey Kiss? That is fine with me. Jasmine from Aladdin? Whoa there! Wait just a minute.
I have a rule in our house about toys like this. No princesses, no divas and no queens. I don't like commercialized bedding or clothing either. A Dora t-shirt. Not in this house. I highly discourage people buying this stuff for T.D. for many reasons. First, I think it looks cheap. Second, as if there isn't enough advertising thrown at kids. Why continually have it in my house? I'm getting off track here. I'm really worried about the whole Princess Mentality with T.D. I guess after reading this article I should be more worried about her overall wardrobe choosiness.
When I read this, "Ten-year-old Ashley Parks said she admires the Pussycat Doll look.
I like how it's sexy," she said." I about puked into my coffee. At ten I had no idea what sexy was. I just knew I wanted to have long flowing hair and I would wear a turtleneck on my head with the shirt flowing down my back to make my "hair" longer. The fact that people buy and companies make (because people buy them!) padded bras, pimpwear and thongs for the under 10 set is so disturbing to me. We worry so much about the safety of our neighborhoods and have websites tracking where pedophiles live yet we buy thongs and teeny tiny skirts and cleavage revealing tops for our six year-olds? Low riders for four year-olds? Doesn't anyone recall that a pimp is not something to aspire too?
I wore my first thong to my Sr. Prom because I knew that VPL is a fashion no-no. I wasn't trying to be sexy. That damned thing was uncomfortable. My white little 17 year old butt hadn't seen the sun since I was a toddler so who would deem that sexy? Besides I still wasn't into the whole looking sexy thing even then. I wanted to be beautiful in a classic Jackie O/Grace Kelly type of way. I wanted grace, elegance, a Chanel suit and big sunglasses. Guess I was a total tool who didn't know fashion according to these girls.
I really think the whole thing that bugs me about this tarted up toddler look is that it warps the young kids mind. Being sexy is a state of mind not just the clothes you wear. Having them dress like that so young puts so much emphasis on how a kid looks and not what they can do or be. It's incredibly sad to me. The parents are letting a company and a child dictate so much. There are other alternatives in kids wear out there. Not to mention the small fact that these items are tasteless and setting up a whole change of bad fashion no-no's in the years to come. A middle school class photo will look like the Saturday night holding pen at at police station full of low-class hookers.
Harsh? Maybe, but I think we need to be if kids are looking to Kimora Lee Simmons for fashion advice and parents are buying half shirts and low cut tops for five year-olds. What's next crotchless panties and fishnets in pre-school?
Mad and sick enough yet? I thought so. Here are more examples.
Newsweek is on target
Lingerie for kiddies
Gotta love A&F
Go Tanya!
Costume description:
Make any soldier with an attitude drop and give you twenty when you suit up as Major Flirt, the highest-ranking Drama Queen in the army! This classic girls costume comes with military green dress, vinyl studded belt, Major General's hat and matching glovettes--all you'll need to get them to stand at A-tten-tion!
Wow. There is just so much more too. Thanks to everyone who has been sending me links, photos and stories.
What is it about a kid free weekend that makes you wonder and discuss the idea of having another child? That topic came up more than once for H and I this sans T.D. weekend. For me, it surrounded me and clouded my thoughts, making me jump from one opinion to the next never able to land on a definite decision.
When it comes to the idea of having another child many thoughts crowd my brain. They plague me and doubt looms large. Can we afford another child? How are we going to have room for another one? Can I stand the body upheaval again and the sickness I might have all the while caring for T.D. and not lose my ever-lovin' mind? I'm not so sure.
I am an only child. I see nothing wrong with only children despite H's jokes of, "only children are weird..." I would love to give T.D. a sibling based on the fact that now that I'm older I wish I had someone to share things with about my parents and our family. There's no one to make fun of my parents idiosyncrasies with and no one to tell me when I sound like my mother, except H, and it's not the same. In fact, I've always thought, who better to raise an only child, but another only child? I know not to fill their Christmases with board games that will only sit in a closet waiting to be played. I understand the sometimes secretive ways of an only child and all the inner dialogue that goes on, as well as the outer talking-to-myself-all-the-time thing. Plus the five or so imaginary friends. Do I really want to add another kid into the mix when I feel so competent in the only child arena?
Add in the fact that I just don't know if I truly have it in me and that is the real issue that I have a hard time voicing. I know that is normal. It's not the question of will I be able to love another as much either. It's the patience and non-selfish thing I worry about. More kids = less time for me and for H and I. Will grandparents be quite as willing to take on two? Probably not in the first few years. Can I handle the day in, day out, even less working that will occur when another child is added into the mix? I just don't know and often my brain says, No. I'm not one to say I'll figure that out when the time comes. It makes a little sad that I doubt myself so much in that way but maybe I'm just being brutally honest. The idea of another person in a house that is already feeling small to me makes me feel a little crazed. Plus, college is ridiculously expensive and I worry about that enough with one.
Yet, I know that H really wants another one. He seems so much better at processing all this than me. He seems excited at just the prospect. I have to admit that in my first trimester with T.D. I was continuously at crossroads with how I really felt about having a child and yet there I was pregnant. I still feel guilt for those continuous thoughts. I am clearly, despite what my OBGYN says, not a woman who can handle many kids. I like my own inner world way too much. I was kind of excited to share that with T.D.
So the Dash Two factor much like an election year is undecided. I'm even undecided on how definite I really feel about saying no to another child. It's as if my brain just can't comprehend it. Like my ducks will never be in a row enough to figure it all out and I feel really alone in my thinking all this.
Run! Run 'em hard! C'mon kids! Let's run over here. Climb the rocks! Look at the pretty gazebo! Oooh! Climb the steps kids, climb them. Up, down. Up, down. That's it!
From six a.m. until 9 p.m. four adults spent an entire day running three little girls ragged. Four adults against three kids under the age of three. And can I just say, those girls kicked our asses. We did it all for a night on the town. Free babysitting by my parents had us giddy with excitement and almost a bit drunk on the freedom of it all. Who would be the victors? The sweet little girls or the hungry for drinks and adult conversation parents?
In the morning it was endless rounds of strolling Elmo and tea parties. We ran them around the yard and chased butterflies. We kept them hydrated of course, but we didn't stop when it was close to nap time and lunch. Instead opted to take them out to a festival. "Run around girls! Check out everything!" Those kids devoured their lunches. There were no finicky eaters that day. We rewarded them with ice cream and headed home. Naps were not allowed on the car ride home either. Got to keep them up and moving!
The ride home had H and I dancing in our seats to all manner of music. A little Coolio got T.D. rockin' in her seat. When 'Hey there Delilah' came on T.D. was almost in a trance. She was dangerously close to being attacked by a nap fairy. Thankfully we made it home. Once there we unloaded the tykes and again went for more rounds of tea parties, bubble blowing, general scampering about and maybe a dose or two of benadryl was involved.
Bath time proved to be their final undoing. Warm water and more playing had them relaxed and drowsy. Bundled cutely in their towels their wet hair slicked back they knew they were beaten. All three pajama clad girls went down easily. Aaaah....
Hastily and in record time we adults spiffied up and headed out. Casino bound and ecstatic the night was ours for the taking!
Dining out with kids. It's a tough situation. There are two sides to it and I'm always torn. In my pre-kid days I was less than tolerant to screaming children in restaurants. Running around? That was a definite no-no. Control that child.
Then, I had a kid. I realized that they are less than controllable 100% of the time. However, it doesn't mean that I believe that kids should be able to do or say what they want when in a public place like a restaurant. That being said, when you have five kids ages six and under (also known as not the best idea) plus four women who lunch at one table. There will be noise. You put four ladies who lunch together and there will be a downright ruckus. You add wine and you might as well shut the whole place down.
So lady with the helmet head much like ol' Mummy up there don't you be passive aggressively walking over to our table that is TWO rooms over from the main dining area of the restaurant (SEE we were thinking of others and stayed far away from the actual dining room)and glare at us and then just leave. I knew you weren't looking for a table. You just wanted to put in your two sense in, but your old biddiness didn't allow you to even crack a steely gaze our way. Then sending the poor harried restaurant owner over to say they had complaints? I understand, except that we were TWO rooms away from your secretary's butt. TWO ROOMS. TWO ROOMS with lots of shushing on our part and kids that were yes, rambunctious at times, but that doesn't mean that we should be relegated to fast food chains for life. It's a freakin' lunch cafe with grilled cheese on the menu and a side of chips is served with every meal! Drinks come in paper cups and plastic utensils are used! There are picnic tables involved! Fine Dining it is not.
I myself still can't grasp how I feel on this whole thing. If it had been me being the old biddy, I would have been annoyed, except that I couldn't be really because I would have realized that they women with kids had taken precautions. They had removed themselves from the main dining room. There were five kids involved (and I for one will NOT be doing that again unless it's at a Chucky Cheese type place-whew!) and after seeing all that I would have eased up. I also would not have blocked the exit way before hand when a woman with two kids and a diaper bag walked up to the entrance. Nor would I have blocked the stairway and sidewalk out front. Seriously. I'm not saying it because I have kids. I'm saying it because it's RUDE.
Don't mind me people I'm just pissed that parents are made to feel like dirt when at some point we all were kids. Parents who let their kids run wild in public have given those of us who don't a bad name and reputation. I have to fly with T.D. for the first time this week and I'm scared to death some old biddy will have us kicked off the plane because I haven't given her 'ludes before the flight.