I Am Loyal

Continuing with the Thirty Days of Truth writing exercise Day Two is all about 'What You Love About Yourself'.  Truthfully, I'm having a real hard time with this one.  I can think of a million things I don't like about myself right now.  I'm not in the most positive mood this week.  I feel like one of the many dry leaves that litters my sidewalk and that's about it. 

I love my feet.  I have always thought despite their size ten status they are quite pretty.  They are long and bony and they remind me of Marilyn Monroe's feet. 

However, I think the point of this exercise is to find something beyond the physical.  I think I can bake pretty well but I'm not actually sure that people like the things I make. They eat them, so I guess so?  I keep a really clean house people tell me.  But that isn't something I particularly love about myself.  I used to be organized.  I prided myself on that but now not so much and it has become a source of irritation that I forget so much on a daily basis. 

I know!

I love that I am loyal.  I have never cheated on a person.  I'm not loyal like a dog's loyal but I will keep and maintain my friendships for long periods of time.  I cherish these people who I consider my friends even if we have limited contact and I pride myself on keeping the relationships alive.  I will reach out no matter how much time has gone by and let someone know I am thinking of them and that I care about them. I frequently have to stop myself from showering my friends with gifts and assorted nonessential items because I would be breaking my bank.  I just want people to know they are important to me and I value them.  I am loyal to my friends and family.  If you don't have them, what do you have? 

I'm Grateful for You- Lattes and Life

It's not your typical friendship.  In fact, I can't even remember the last time we saw each other in person.  It might have been at my bachelorette party and that was about ten years ago now.  Remember those things called web rings?  They were all the rage in the new millennium right along with message boards.  Tiffany and I met on one of those message boards. Both new west coasters, trying to find jobs and the only thing we initially had in common was that we were girlfriends of Marines.  We bonded over that and our shared geography.

I don't know when we first started breaking away from the message boards and only talking about our boyfriends and their deployments but our first meeting was quite memorable.  We decided to get together at Balboa Park.  A beautiful park in the heart of San Diego.  There is an amphitheater, a science center, gorgeous views and oh yeah, an exhibit on instruments of torture. That's where we decided to hang out.  It was then that I knew we would be friends.

Did I imagine that a few marriages, numerous moves around the country, a divorce and more babies than you can shake a stick at would find us still friends?  No, I didn't.  Our friendship for so long has only consisted of emails. How we remained in touch through so much upheaval after only meeting a handful of times could be a mystery.  Except for one thing.  She is always there.  She senses in me, my tweets, my blog posts and emails when I'm going over the edge, things are really freaking me out and just lets me vent like mad.  She isn't in my daily life, watching it all unfold and can give the best advice.  She listens like a true friend because that's all we have.  I certainly hope I do the same for her.

Ours is a friendship born of technology and maintained that way. Something truly modern and wonderful.  I am grateful for her guidance, support and cheer.  Her understanding and heart.  She writes one hell of a blog that is a true gem and has an amazing voice.  She's fearless and funny and never backs down. All things I cherish and admire in a friend.  I am so glad that no matter what life has thrown at us we have never lost touch.  It would have been so easy to lose track of emails, forget to hit that 'reply' button and just move on. 

Thank you, Tiffany for all your years of friendship.  I'm so grateful we are still friends.  I'm proud of you and all you have done.  You are one amazing woman.

New Faces and Places

Maybe we have been cooped up in the house too long because of all this winter weather.  Maybe it is the seed that H repeatedly tries to plant in my head about TD branching out her set of friends.  Whatever it was, we took a trip just down the road to new horizons this week. 

We went to a group play date.  Did your hand just fly to your mouth as you gasped in shock?  I know.  I broke our ridiculous and now monotanous routine of work, gym, school, work/play, neighborhood play, dinner, bed.  Wake up and do it all again. Gag, snore. 

I don't know why it takes me so long to do these things.  I don't know why I don't schedule them myself. Oh right (smacks forehead) I hate entertaining.  That's why.  Hives. Hives! There would be hives.  I swear if you left me alone long enough I would turn inward and probably grow a crusty shell like a hermit crab.  You would find me talking to myself or a wall in a very animated conversation and eating cold soup out of can.  I would be pretty content for a while too as long as I got to yell at the neighbors every few days ("Get a haircut!") and you kept me stocked with Bloody Mary mix.

Unlike most days where we have a ton of things scheduled I woke up this morning excited. I was excited about the possibilities of new friendships for TD as well as for myself.  I love my neigbhorhood dearly but in the last few weeks it has become rather stale.  I was about to stage at re-enactment from 'Escape from Alcatraz' any day now and I needed off our own 'rock', er, frozen tundra and off into someone else's cozy home.  Judging by the happy smiles, quiet house we later came home to and content feeling we all seem to now have, I would say the kids needed it just as badly as I did.  Being in someone else's home and talking to other mothers was like a breath of fresh spring air.  Immediately my creativity flared and my branching out made me feel that the buds on the trees aren't too far off.  When one little girl told me, "TD is welcome to play at my house anytime!" I beamed and not just for TD.  I welcome the new friendships for me too. 

What Rocks!

You know what rocks?

-Actually managing to surprise your best friend with a visit. E thought her boyfriend's mother was coming into town. Lo and behold, c'est moi! She jumped me like a spider monkey as soon as the shock wore off. That alone was worth the trip.

- A $20 foot massage that really is a full body one. Why don't we have those in my area?!

- Finding designer duds for less at consignment stores on Melrose and watching LA rich girls drop off never worn clothing while wearing tanks emblazoned with the words, "Trifling Ass Bitch".

- Absinthe. I can see the point of that stuff. Really. I like a spongy world.

-Having loads of time to hang out with my best friend that I haven't seen in a year and a half whether it was on the couch in our pj's, in a club, taking a walk or sinking our feet into some Malibu beach sand while sipping Bloody Mary's and noshing on a fried platter of goodness.

Two Hot Girls

Her boyfriend called it regressing. We just called it time well spent.

I'm Getting All Schmaltzy About My Friends

Along with all the other things you are thinking about this month- heading back to school, stocking up on the latest fall fashions, closing down that summer house (heh), you can now add in that September is NATIONAL FEMALE FRIENDSHIP MONTH.

According to a 2009 University of Michigan study women with close female friends have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. I fully agree with this statement because I know it isn't just the wine on girls night that makes me relaxed. It is the sharing of our week's stories, the cackling laughter, encouragement and support that we give each other weekly that keeps me going and it is better than any magic pill in a bottle.

I feel truly blessed to have as many friends in my life as I do. It is a lot of work to keep some of those contacts going through the years, miles and sometimes tribulations but the ones who have stayed in my life make my moments, days and years. They say you have friends for seasons and reasons. I believe that too. It has been studied that women's friendships can fall off during their thirties when careers and life really ramp up. If you can maintain your friendships throughout that busy time then the relationship will most likely last for the rest of the individuals lives. That is pretty amazing.

E and I are a perfect example. We have been friends for thirty years now. She is the sister I never had. On the exterior we could not be more different. She tans like a mofo and I burn unless the tan comes in a bottle. I'm taller and blond. She's petite with glossy dark hair. As kids we fought often, our differences seemed glaring, but then something clicked when we hit junior high and despite being in separate school systems we banded together and became life lines to each other. Sometimes I think she knows more about me than my parents or H.

When I had a series of massive panic attacks right before my wedding it was E that I wanted to hug me. I know, I wanted a hug. Even as a ripped through my parents luggage for my father's stash of xanax I knew that just having her by my side would be enough. She wasn't going to try and make me laugh or take my mind off my nerves. Her presence was enough.

When I was 'in the shit' that was my sophomore year of college tearing up bathrooms, burning things, sobbing at random times and an all around hot mess, she would sit on the phone for hours listening to my woes ($300 plus phone bills!) from her study abroad program in Ecuador.

In big and small instances she has been by my side through the good (SATC marathons, high school dances, college visits and happy hours), the bad, the ugly (high school dances, junior high haircuts, and lime green skeggings) pet deaths and more. I only hope I've been able to be there for her like that too.

In honor of National Friendship Month, it's time to check your friendship inventory. Call that girlfriend in Texas you keep thinking about, the friend who just lost her job or just the one next door. Keep those friendships going. They keep you strong both in body, mind and heart.

Leave a comment about one of your friends and why you love them and it will automatically enter you into my Mummy's Product Review giveaway. I'm giving away five copies of the CD/DVD of Michael Buble Meets Madison Square Garden this week. Good luck!

I'm at Your Service. If You Want.

Last week I cried 'do over!' and I kept my promise. I met my goal. I worked out five times last week. It is the same bat time, same bat channel again this week. Five times. Yes, my knees are popping more than a box of cereal and I a bit more exhausted than I normally would be, but I'm not bloated anymore either. I've de-puffed myself and already my arms are looking a bit more toned. It's not going to be an over night transformation. Ah, to be 17 again... It's going to be a tad more of a long haul getting myself back to where I want to be, but I'm willing to do the work.

Are you?

Here's the thing. Since I began Shredding and hitting the gym again, a few months ago, I have had quite a few friends ask me all about this power-packed DVD. They have heard me talk about how great it is, how hard it is and how much I love it. And hate it.

Then they buy it. You know what happens next? Fear. Fear wells up inside them and demotivates their asses so damn fast it is like they have cement in their gym shorts. They make up one excuse after another on why they haven't even ripped the security stickers off of Jillian yet. It boils down to a lot of waiting. Waiting for someone else to do it with them, waiting for... well, quite frankly I have no idea what. Waiting for the DVD to help them lose weight and burn fat through osmosis? I'm not entirely sure.

Because they are my friends and I'm complicated, I get irritated. I want the best for them and when I see the lack of motivation it sets me into Drill Sargent mode (or Jillian mode, take your pick.) and I want to make them Shred. It is only because I want them to be their best. I want them to feel as good as I feel. I am the first person to admit how hard it is to commit to a workout plan and follow it. I've been procrastinating with the best of them for years. I am also the first to admit how fun it can be. How I love the feel of my own sweat and seeing my body change. It "doesn't come for free" though. If you want results you have to work for them. Hard. However, hard work can be fun.

All I can say is that achieving a goal takes perseverance and a lot of hard work. When you know someone has your back and can commiserate with you it is that much easier to achieve it. It's one of the many reasons I love H so much. When you have me as your friend you know I'm going to expect a lot from you but I'm also going to be loyal and help you out in any way I can.

You only have one life. There are no "real" do overs. If you want me as your own version of Jillian Michaels, then so be it. I am at your service. All you have to do it ask. I'll help you reach that goal in whatever way I can. I promise.

That applies to all my Internet friends as well.

Want more motivation?! Want to win some cash for all that hard work? Visit Loser Moms and see their weight loss contest. Motivation: It's only a click away!

What Happens at Blogher....

Stays at Blogher, right?

Look at me all grabby with Edward while my fellow blogger is so reserved.



Well, not always. Some things do come home with you.

No, You May Not Frost My Cupcake

It's discussion time again and this week I'm posing a question about friendships, the relationships between men and women and what is appropriate and what is not. It's up to you. Read the issue, discuss in the comments and offer up your opinion.

You are sitting at your friends house and her husband makes a comment along the lines of, "I'd like to frost your cupcake..." or the classic "I'd like a (insert your name and your friends name) sandwich. Heh heh. (Insert a comment about how he might be into polygamy too)". It's not the first time he says things like this but because you don't want to embarrass your friend you smile and brush it off. She laughs it off each time as well. However, it just keeps happening.

What do you do? Do you continue to keep quiet for the sake of your friend? Do you take him aside later and confront the man? Or do you reprimand him for his behavior right there in front of his kids and wife?

Have at it!