Peas in a Pod

The Fifth Element & Izzy on Halloween.

Holding hands. Playing and growing together. Two peas in a pod.

November is National Adoption Month.  We have many kids on our block but last year we had a little Christmas miracle.  Izzy came to our 'hood right making us believe that Santa can deliver early and prayers know no bounds.  Our whole neighborhood has watched her grow this past year and it is in part to the wonderful thing that is adoption. 

There are many kids looking for homes.  About 26,000 are from ages 8-12 and are in foster care.  To find out more about how you could help or pass on this information visit AdoptUSKids.

With a Little Help

Y'all, I don't even know what to say.  You have been so kind.  Your emails, tweets, FB posts and comments are all so touching.  People have offered up their homes and hearts to me in the last few days and it shows a greatness of spirit that is magnificient.  Geez, I'm starting to sound like some sort of Dr. Feelgood preacher. 

It's been rough and rocky but civil.  The television has been our babysitter more often than I would like to admit these last few days. I've said, "Fine. Yes. You can have that sugary treat." more often than normal too.  There have been quiet conversations and realizations on both our parts that help immensely.  We are not out of the woods but we both agreed we want to salvage what we have.  I've been in therapy alone before and I have to say going to counseling as a couple scares the bejeezus out of me.  It's so deeply personal and I have a hard time with all that sharing in front of others stuff.  It makes me feel like something is cracking inside and I don't relish that type of situation.  But I know if I want to save what we have and create something new and better for us and for our kids then it is what we have to do. 

Thank you for all your support. 

Not So Disposable

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date December 24, 2007.

We all know that once you have kids messes are made all the time. Almost every 2.5 seconds it seems and there is more trash than you ever thought possible leaving your home. If you own a diaper genie or some other stink holder then you know that the trash you put out more than doubles once that cute bundle arrives. It is like the diapers are having diapers inside that contraption. Diapers that clog our landfills and linger for years to come.


There must be something we can do right? There must be a better way that does not involve those cloth diapers. Because really? We are not all cut out for the washing of the poo. This video, Not So Disposable, by Dana Hackley, gets to the nitty gritty of what diapers are doing to our world. She offers yet another way to possibly solve this diaper dilemma by lobbying our state legislature to find a way to recycle them. A company called Knowaste already does this with great results in the UK and even here in this country. When you consider the fact that diapers, including adult ones, are one of the only household items not to be recycled these days added in with the 500 years it takes for them to decompose it doesn't take a math genius to realize we have a big problem on our hands.

It is incredibly easy to just throw those diapers away. They are disposable after all. Who wants to deal with safety pins, expensive diaper services, and washing nappies late into the night when you are already a sleep deprived parent to begin with? Our grandmothers and many of our mothers did it. So why can't we? I was a cloth diapered baby for purely economical reasons as was my spouse. I oddly didn't even think twice about an alternative to the Pamper when my daughter was born despite my preoccupation with natural baby products, organic food and a whole slew of other green techniques I institued in our house.

It wasn't until Dana's video that I really began to squirm in my seat and realize the mess I was creating from well, my daughter's messes. However, even when presented with the facts I'm at a loss on how to really begin finding a new alternative to buying that ginormous box of gel inserted diapers every two weeks. I applaud Dana's efforts to seek an alternative to disposable diapers because we aren't all cut out for the cloth nappy technique. We really should be finding other options out there. I think just speaking up about it opens a whole new realm for discussion and thought. I welcome anyone's suggestions on how to get this started in the DC Metro area or if anyone has experiences using products like the g-diaper or vinyl pants. That one I just can't wrap my brain around.

Comments


Bonacci said...


In Toronto, recycling of diapers has been in full swing for several years now. The "green bin" program allows all organic wastes, bones, and sanitary products to be recycled. All the surrounding cities have started taking part now also. To enforce the recycling programs, the city now limits garbage pickup to once every two weeks, and there is a two bag limit per pickup.






At first it's something you're not particularly happy about, but when you start to realize the benefits and finally get into the routine, it's great. My finance and I are down to about a half bag of trash every two weeks... There are so many things that are recyclable in our city now that it's pretty difficult to generate a lot of trash.






Bonnaci


Reply December 24, 2007 at 06:48 AM ElleDee said...


It's really not that hard to adapt to using cloth diapers if you sign up for a diaper service. With our second child, I'm considering washing our own though, although I'm feeling a bit apprehensive about it. (I need to research if the diaper service's use of water is more efficient, for example; anyone know?). I've collected a lot of diaper covers and although you have to change wet diapers more frequently, it's not that bad. We did use a paper diaper at night though because our daughter was such a heavy nighttime wetter. This is a good site about using cloth diapers - http://www.diaperjungle.com/washing-cloth-diapers.html


Reply December 24, 2007 at 10:58 AM Vicky said...


Wow Leslie, Thanks so much. I had no idea about the paper diapers for nighttime either. I will definetly check this out!

Two Hot Girls

Her boyfriend called it regressing. We just called it time well spent.

No, You May Not Frost My Cupcake

It's discussion time again and this week I'm posing a question about friendships, the relationships between men and women and what is appropriate and what is not. It's up to you. Read the issue, discuss in the comments and offer up your opinion.

You are sitting at your friends house and her husband makes a comment along the lines of, "I'd like to frost your cupcake..." or the classic "I'd like a (insert your name and your friends name) sandwich. Heh heh. (Insert a comment about how he might be into polygamy too)". It's not the first time he says things like this but because you don't want to embarrass your friend you smile and brush it off. She laughs it off each time as well. However, it just keeps happening.

What do you do? Do you continue to keep quiet for the sake of your friend? Do you take him aside later and confront the man? Or do you reprimand him for his behavior right there in front of his kids and wife?

Have at it!

Let the New Year Begin

When you buy a peanut butter chocolate pie it just looks so divine. So tasty. You cannot wait to dip your fork into it and savor every bite.



You have no idea the pie will meets its end like this-



You think you are so civilized and then you spend New Year's with old college friends and you realize that despite owning the home, having the 2.5 kids and a dog you still end up like this on New Year's.

H and co-conspirator in the pie demise, Jen. So much for keeping it simple. It took an entire day to clean that kitchen up and I'm sure there is still bits of pie stuck to some surface or other.

At a Loss

My friend's mother is dying. I've been getting the updates on a regular basis the last few weeks, then days and now hour by hour as it doesn't look like she is going to make it through the day. I want to be there for her in any way that I can but I feel at such a loss in this department.

I don't even handle my own grief well. When I'm at a funeral, even for someone very close to me, I do the multiplication tables in my head so I won't cry. I am loathe to cry in front of my family. I feel other family members do it enough for all of us.

Hugs to do not flow easily from my arms. Kind words with no trace of sarcasm or making one laugh also do not happen very often. The loss of ones mother is something I cannot fathom and wish I could handle better for both of us. I want to say and do the right things and yet I feel so silent each time another update comes. I just listen and wonder, "Is this what she needs?" I watch TD construct a picture for her so "she won't feel so bad about her mommy being sick." My two year-old knows what to do better than I.

In my heart I'm hugging her and saying all the right things. It is how to convey that in reality that I have a trouble with.

Sex and the City Fan in it for the Froth

Cross-posted from DC Metro Moms-

Sex and the City makes its long awaited debut this weekend and the media attention this movie has gotten makes it seem like the second coming. The critics, many of the manly persuasion, have given it the old, "meh, it's OK but it's not deep" review. As an avid fan, I refuse to listen to all the buzz and the boo's.

From the very beginning when the show was on only in the wee HBO hours I was hooked. I was single, young and out there. I found myself as a cross between cynical and realistic Miranda and the ballsy Samantha. Each Sunday night show was not just clothing crack but like a drink for my starving demographic of viewers. No one got us so right and we tuned in and turned loyal fast. While the show slowly delved into the glitz and glamor of the city and fashion world (The first season's clothes? They were more your average woman's wear.) it immediately tackled the questions that we gals faced on a daily basis. How do we juggle burgeoning careers, friendships and relationships? What is it we really want from all three and can we have it all? If we can, what defines having it all? Is it different for each of us? By the time the show wrapped in 2004, the answer was clearly yes, as each character seemed satisfied with their life's choices.

Enter the Sex and the City movie, which I will only be watching for the first time tonight. Amidst all the critics critiquing I am left with the feeling that none of it has been by a true fan. This film, much like the show was to NYC, is a tribute to us. It did not need to be done, but it has been and it is a reward to the fans who loved the show, its characters and what it gave us- fashion-forward froth, vulnerability, eye candy and a look into the hearts of four characters who represented a whole myriad of us real women. To break it down as anything else is not to understand the show and all it meant and still means to so many of its fans.

Will we be disappointed? Maybe. Will it really be all that we wanted and more? Perhaps. I prefer to look at the film as a chance to catch up with old friends, window shop for the unattainable, feel a bit carefree for two hours and not break it down into how deep the film gets into issues and such. This purist fan prefers to take part in the tulle-like froth that was the shows essence and just enjoy the ride.

Updated: After seeing the film, I could not be more pleased. It was everything I hoped for and more. The film has always shown the truly passionate and deep side of women's friendships and it reaffirmed my faith in that this weekend. It brought back a lot of old memories of how we women can really take care of each other and true friends are always there. It's a must-see even if only for the spectacular clothes, accessories and shoes too!

Like a Tonic

What is it about having your best friend visit that works on you just like a tonic?

Is it the hours and hours of loafing about as you converse on anything from organic food, insane drivers, politics or basically nothing at all?

Is it the concentrated girly time despite my not being able to stay up past 10 pm each night? (Sorry E!)

The sitting over breakfast in our pjs or making dinner together as we jam to bad itunes?

I pick all of the above and more. Before, H surprised me with E's visit this weekend (where I turned into a blubbery mess in front of many people and it is documented on film that I do in fact, have tear ducts that work) I was getting into that zone where you feel a bit dried up. You crave dear, old friend time. New friends are great but there is something to be said for that person who has known you for a lifetime and the bond that is sisterly in strength. To see your best friend meet your child for the first time and watch them hit if off completely makes you love them that much more. I think I even garnered a new appreciation for T.D. seeing her through the eyes of E.

I feel restored and happy. Like a light has been back on despite having just dropped her off at the airport. When T.D. exclaimed, "I want my Rika! I miss Rika" as we pulled away from the departure zone my heart broke a bit and I could only say, "Yup. Me too, kid. Me too."

A partial team photo, end of day two.

We started off at 4:45 a.m. on Saturday. I sat on my front steps in the dark listening to the early morning sounds feeling the weather. It was going to be a beautiful day. At last! My first walk without rain! My bag was packed, sleeping bag aired out, and my socks were dry. I was ready to go.

Upon entering Opening Ceremonies you could feel the energy flowing through the air. 3800 walkers strong, we were ready to make our statement and begin the walk through DC. It's emotional, exciting and intense to be in a crowd of that many people all working and fighting for one cause. Each year I never fail to tear up as survivors give their stories and remind us why we spend months fundraising, training and finally walking for a cure.

The first days route took us past many of the monuments the city is famous for. It became hot and there were many hills. A few friends came out along the way to cheer me on and it made my day! I felt pretty good until lunchtime when the rest stop ran out of both water and Gatorade. I got a little nervous for a bit when I thought about being dehydrated and wandering around the city. It felt even hotter then. Finally, they were re-stocked at the next quick stop and can I just say, purple Gatorade rocks! It was quite possibly one of the best things I could drink. After 13 miles we hit the half marathon mark and headed into camp at Norwood Park in Bethesda, MD. Tired, dirty and ready to lay down, eat or simply sit under the stream of the shower I felt pretty done. I might have layed in my tent and dozed for a bit. It was a blur. This walk wore me out way more than others. I was in bed by 8:30. Sad, but true.

The second day dawned bright and early with the sounds of camp filling the air. The breakfast line was almost out of camp. After a hearty breakfast of everything you can think of of we headed out to tackle the last 13 miles. We moved at a fast clip and made good time. Once we hit lunch we were back in the city with the sun hitting our faces wondering where the heck Reese Witherspoon was in all this. We heard she was going to walk the last three miles and make a speech at Closing Ceremonies. Along the way we stopped to take more photos, passed the White House, and I gagged into a trashcan a few times feeling completely exhausted and I must admit, a bit like a wuss. This is typically a cake walk for me but this year I struggled and it bothered me. I just wanted it over with and I wanted my tub.



Suddenly, over the sea of walkers we could see the finish line. The bright pink arches were just ahead! I felt excited, a bit nervous and thrilled to have made it. This year was more than a walk for a cure but a journey for myself as well. I pushed myself to finish and I felt relieved that I made it. As I crossed the finish line I saw familiar faces of other walkers, friends, their families and then H & T.D. I waved to them and didn't even realize one main thing. H was not the one holding T.D., it was E. She was here!! What the? Shocked and excited beyond belief I just lost it and cried and hugged her as she held T.D. My best friend since I was T.D.'s age had flown in from LA to see me! It was incredible and all H's idea! Can you believe it? I still can't.


Home now and a few days later I can't believe the walk is over and that another year is done and gone. My fourth year and while it was different it was completely worth it. Thank you to everyone who has cheered me on in emails, phone calls, comments and more. The donations you sent helped to raise over 8.1 million dollars and counting. You too did an amazing job! THANK YOU!


*The last two photos taken by official Avon Press photographer, Candace Hoffman.

HEAD OVER to Mummy's Product Reviews for a Mi-bag coupon!

In Which Midland, Texas Keeps Me up Late.

Am Sshleepy.

GNO = 2 a.m.

No more white wine.

Only caffiene. Somebody get me an IV.

Am no longer 22 and able to stay up late and then bounce out of bed at toddler wake up time.

Gym? Forget it. I'm in the penalty box now.

Waited up for friends plane that was delayed before it even left the ground.

So..zzzzzzzzzzzz...what?! Oh. Tired. today.

Must curl up in ball with toddler with faucet for a nose and rest. No worky today.



Check out my latest on Moms Speak Up here. Mummy's Product Reviews is giving away some fun DVDs and has great new items up (think cashmere!) to peruse. Have a great weekend readers. T.D., H and I will be here Saturday!

Green Your Routine

I am very pleased to announce the incredible news that Dana Hackley is the winner of Ziddio's Green Your Routine video contest.

Who is Dana Hackley and why should you care? Dana was one of my college roommates, we shared a bunk in an insanely tiny room together in our sorority house and we didn't kill each other in the night. That is an amazing feat if you were to see the size of the room. I think prisoners have bigger cells. We've been in each others weddings and lives for over ten years now (ugh I feel old) and had our first babes within a year of each other. Dana is a busy woman. She writes, she teaches and she creates Academy Award winning videos. That's right. My old roomie has one the Global Green Academy Award. I'm so (sniff) proud.

Here it is- Not So Disposable, by Dana Hackley




For more information and an interview with Dana please visit Moms Speak Up.

On the Side of Dexter

If you haven't watched Showtime's show Dexter then you have no idea what you are missing. I will preface it this, at a party recently when the topic of new fall shows came up someone said, "Ooh! I have a great show! Do you mind blood?" The conversation went from there. You have to not mind oceans of blood with Dexter. Five bodies worth. Dexter is also a Sociopath and this is how I side with him.

I have mentioned a few times before on this here blog that I am not a touchy feeling person. I can't say this enough. I don't fawn over things, I don't hug much, and in high school I was called an Ice Princess on way more occassions than I can count. Apparently I have been this way since birth. I've always struggled out of hugs, given the slightest kiss, and really just not remembered to even do these things or that other people like them. I have to remind myself to pet my dog people. Really. I have to literally say to myself, "It's been over a day, you should probably pet the dog." So I do.

When T.D. came along it was different. She is the first being I don't have to remind myself to touch. It's a freakin' let out o a sigh of relief miracle. I was really worried about it. I just don't think to do these things. For instance, when I would come home from college and step foot off the plane, my brain would say, "Remember to hug your parents and let them hug you. They like it so just do it." Weird huh? Makes me feel like a sociopath. This is how I side with the character of Dexter, a person who had to learn what normal behavior is in order to fit in with the rest of the world. He doesn't instinctively hug people, kiss his girlfriend, or do any other sort of physical contact unless he reminds himself. It is the one thing about myself I wish I could change. I wish there was a button I could push and presto chango I would remember that people like hugs. They like to cuddle and hold hands. They don't like it when you don't remember. When you forget. It hurts them. They also don't like when you weasel out of hugs and such. That hurts too. Somehow there are some neurons or something that don't connect in me. Something that never got switched on. I hate to see it as a fault in me but I suppose it is. Most people don't have to tell themselves, "Ok you will be seeing your friend today that you haven't seen in a long time. Remember to hug her. Don't be surprised when she hugs you."

It used to be that bad and over time I have gotten more practice and behave on many levels of affection like a normal person. Yet, on a day to day basis I often forget to. It sucks. I feel like a freak because of it and I wish I knew of other people who are like me. Who have to remind themselves to pet their dogs, hug friends, and behave like a normal person. Because when H gives me a hug I really do like it. It's just that in between the hug times that I forget and I wish I wouldn't.

Goodbye's

Some people say they don't "do" goodbye's. I have never been one to use that pat phrase. I do them alright I just don't show much emotion while it's happening. When H left for Iraq I didn't even cry. I just hugged him and we said, "OK, see you sometime..." and I went home. That's it. The fact that I lived on some weird plane of non-emotion for the entire time is a whole other post.

Some might say that is cold of me. How can I render so much emotion for tragic ship sinking's and events that have nothing to do with me, but yet I can mourn and grieve them like nobodies business? I don't really get it either, except to say it's just way too personal for me and must be done alone.

Tonight, I said goodbye to a friend that a year ago I didn't even know. Tears were shed by all the women on my block but me. It's not that I don't care or that I even care less. I don't really even cry at funerals. It's like a block. Then I go home to my empty house and just keel over. I can put it off a bit by sitting here writing this pathetic blog. Yet, here I sniffle and already miss my friend. I walked into my house saw a bowl of chocolates and thought, "Oh! I'll just go give these to her for her trip." It was too late, she was already driving away. I walked slowly in the humid night back to my house sighing heavily suddenly saddened by the whole night.

It will never be the same. She will no longer call me in the morning and ask, "How are you doin'?" in her Texas drawl and then I'll lug T.D. across the street for coffee and a morning walk. Her son is T.D.'s favorite playmate. I well up in tears when I think of how she will keep toddling to his front door asking for "Mahk". I already had to tell her twice today, "All done. Mark doesn't live there. All done." It's the only way T.D. sort of comprehends it. I will miss the easy way she had and how she made me feel like a better Mom and not less of one the way some women I've known have. I will miss the Texas Trash.

Sure there is email and phones, but there is something truly special about having a neighbor who you can rely on to not only watch your kids and set up play dates with, but one who actually becomes your friend and you tell your secrets to. It's rare and special and I can say from past experience incredibly hard to have to do twice in one year. I'm still not over the last defection from our 'hood (That still sucks and it's been almost a year). On our tiny street we're relatively close and watch out for each other. We actually borrow cups of sugar and eggs. You become so entrenched in just passing through each other's homes each day. You learn from other mothers and watch their kids grow. I love it and it sucks and hurts, I know I'm being eloquent again, when part of that leaves.

So there's my sap for the month and a deeper blog post than the last few, she totally called me out on that just before she said goodbye. What I'll miss the most from her, is not her stellar coffee or the play dates, but her honesty and ease. It's those things that make me cry and miss her more.

Blog Blast! Join the Fun and Do Some Good!

Tell me about your favorite charity, or better yet, head to PBN and post it there. If you are like me there is an organization that you hold near and dear to your heart. Maybe you know someone with cancer and you want to help in anyway you can so you donate to the American Cancer Society. Maybe you love animals and want to help out the local shelter.

For me, it is a deeply personal reason that I donate to this one particular organization. They helped me out in so many ways during such a dire time in my life. A time that if they had not been there I would have probably remained broken for years to come if not forever. My life would not be what it is today nor would I. I was in an abyss with no way out and felt completely isolated and alone. The Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County, RI was there for me. Their weekly group therapy sessions, the resources and support they offered made it possible for me to see a life beyond what I was currently trapped in. They gave me the courage, guidance and support to know that I could and would be whole again someday. I owe them such a debt of gratitude. That is why I joined iBakeSale.

iBakeSale allows me to donate anywhere from 20-100% of the amount I spend in online shopping on their site to the organization of my choice. Here's how it works-when you shop online via iBakeSale you can earn cash back (by percentage of purchase) that can be donated to various charities, as well as local organizations such as little league, schools, shelters. EVEN yourself. It's FREE and EASY to sign up. You can help donate to my cause or add your own.

Click here to sign up or get more information. If you would like to help out a great RI resource look up The Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County. I thank you in advance. While you are at it- TELL YOUR FRIENDS and have them sign up. You won't be sorry!

NOW SHOP, SHOP, SHOP!

No Rachel Ray's Allowed

The air is thick with humidity today. As I stepped out on the front steps this morning, somehow the concrete managed to feel damp and spongy. Thankfully my mind is clear. My outlook better today. I have possible sticks or long branches or whatever in the fires.

Thursday night. Girls Night on my block. I called my neighbor to see what the plan was an she answered on the first ring. As I said hello I realized she was already talking to someone else and saying, "I don't know about you, but this pregnant woman is done! I need a Bellini. A Leaning Bellini from Macaroni Grill!" I kept saying her name but she didn't hear me or my laughter. No, this is not some bad mother drinking on the job. She's at the end of her second pregnancy and apparently last night suffering some serious "let's just call them Braxton Hicks." In the end she couldn't get out that night so I called my next neighbor on the list.

"Sorry!" she says over the din of a crying baby, "it's just insane over here just like it is at so and so's house (the Braxton Hicks lady), it's not a good night." I hung up the phone.

It's all ok though, don't think I missed out, because I was sitting on a nice brick patio by a trickling fountain in a quiet garden sipping wine. My old neighbor, good friend, and T.D.'s guardian is in town for a few days and we were having our own girls night. It was what I had needed and missed just a tad too much. We spent hours laughing so hard we couldn't breathe (fellow Rachel Ray haters unite!), drinking wine and then comically enormous cups of coffee, noshed on good food, and just spent time catching up like we used to when our decks were connected.

The sun set and we didn't notice. The restaurant emptied and the staff cleared the tables and we still didn't notice. Finally, we realized that it was indeed pretty dark out and oh yeah, everyone else was gone. Our waitress shot us a look and we got up to leave. I breathed a sigh of relief as I dropped my friend off because suddenly my world felt much brighter. Mean Mommy had left the building.

And guess what? I get to do it all again tonight! I don't even care that I woke up with a pounding headache today (dreaded chardonnay) because the healing power that a friend can have extends pretty far.

The rose bush is saved... for now.