Healing Mama

I need a healing right now.  My mind is a whizzing blur of tangled thoughts. I feel like a glowing orb of sad feelings is just emanating from me non-stop.  Starting marriage counseling is probably for the best.  Once started though it gets the ball rolling for more open and frank discussions that are usually left unsaid.  That seems so much easier doesn't it?  Not in the long run for anyone of us I know but right now I feel like a pretty sucktastic person and mother.  I'm too addled and confused to feel real relevant or like I am imparting any wisdom and life skills on anyone. 

So I'm going to do something nice for someone else.  Crunchy Chewy Mama has a friend in need. Liz has always been there for Jessica when she was in need and now Liz, a mother of young children, has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  I know you are probably thinking- "OK. We get it! People you know have breast cancer! You, like, care a lot about it, and stuff." 

Here is the thing.

Liz doesn't have insurance.  She needs treatment to be there for other little people. To impart her own love, life lessons and wisdom on them for years to come. So do something real, unselfish and giving today.  Be there for Liz and visit Help to Heal Mama.  If you know of a way to offer help to her and her family- offer it. Please.

Thank you.

I'm Grateful for You- Lattes and Life

It's not your typical friendship.  In fact, I can't even remember the last time we saw each other in person.  It might have been at my bachelorette party and that was about ten years ago now.  Remember those things called web rings?  They were all the rage in the new millennium right along with message boards.  Tiffany and I met on one of those message boards. Both new west coasters, trying to find jobs and the only thing we initially had in common was that we were girlfriends of Marines.  We bonded over that and our shared geography.

I don't know when we first started breaking away from the message boards and only talking about our boyfriends and their deployments but our first meeting was quite memorable.  We decided to get together at Balboa Park.  A beautiful park in the heart of San Diego.  There is an amphitheater, a science center, gorgeous views and oh yeah, an exhibit on instruments of torture. That's where we decided to hang out.  It was then that I knew we would be friends.

Did I imagine that a few marriages, numerous moves around the country, a divorce and more babies than you can shake a stick at would find us still friends?  No, I didn't.  Our friendship for so long has only consisted of emails. How we remained in touch through so much upheaval after only meeting a handful of times could be a mystery.  Except for one thing.  She is always there.  She senses in me, my tweets, my blog posts and emails when I'm going over the edge, things are really freaking me out and just lets me vent like mad.  She isn't in my daily life, watching it all unfold and can give the best advice.  She listens like a true friend because that's all we have.  I certainly hope I do the same for her.

Ours is a friendship born of technology and maintained that way. Something truly modern and wonderful.  I am grateful for her guidance, support and cheer.  Her understanding and heart.  She writes one hell of a blog that is a true gem and has an amazing voice.  She's fearless and funny and never backs down. All things I cherish and admire in a friend.  I am so glad that no matter what life has thrown at us we have never lost touch.  It would have been so easy to lose track of emails, forget to hit that 'reply' button and just move on. 

Thank you, Tiffany for all your years of friendship.  I'm so grateful we are still friends.  I'm proud of you and all you have done.  You are one amazing woman.

So Long Old Friend

Recently I posted about how good it felt to come away from an afternoon spent with friends and colleagues.  It was the SVMoms Group DC Metro Moms Symposium and I needed it.  Weeks later it was announced that SVMoms would soon cease to exist.

I can't tell you how sad this has made me.  Being a part of SVMoms/DCMM was one of my favorite parts of being in this field.  I not only enjoyed the camaraderie of other women, writers and friends but came away from each meeting and get together feeling revitalized, smarter and more accomplished. While DCMM didn't pay, it provided something so much more invaluable to me than monetary means.  There were adventures that happened because I wrote for that group, opportunities presented themselves that created more adventures like syndication, the BBC in our house and then there was actual paid and exciting work. 

Over my years with SVMoms/DCMM I forged friendships and watched other women grow and create amazing groups that I am not sure would have been possible if we had not all found each other through this little ol' LLC.  I'm partial to thinking that if Gayle hadn't sent me to Memphis one weekend in November I never would spent a day with Kristen in a Chevy Malibu learning about Twitter but ultimately creating a friendship that a year later would be such an amazing blessing.  She's an angel that, Kristen.  Did I ever tell you about the time she read a desperate blog post of mine and within an hour was at my front door with hugs, food and help?  Oh yeah, she did that. She rescued me big time that day and I'm still grateful.  Then there's Sarah, Devra, Jodi and all the others who make me laugh, teach me continuously about our blogging community, this "thing" we do for fun and work and our locale.  They are women I'm proud to call my friends and cohorts.  They have made my life richer in ways I never would have imagined was possible just a few years back. 

And it all started with SVMoms and I will always be grateful I got to be part of something so great that gave so much to me and so many others.  So long dear friend, I will miss you, but you have created something so special that is leaving other great things in its place. 

I'm Getting All Schmaltzy About My Friends

Along with all the other things you are thinking about this month- heading back to school, stocking up on the latest fall fashions, closing down that summer house (heh), you can now add in that September is NATIONAL FEMALE FRIENDSHIP MONTH.

According to a 2009 University of Michigan study women with close female friends have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. I fully agree with this statement because I know it isn't just the wine on girls night that makes me relaxed. It is the sharing of our week's stories, the cackling laughter, encouragement and support that we give each other weekly that keeps me going and it is better than any magic pill in a bottle.

I feel truly blessed to have as many friends in my life as I do. It is a lot of work to keep some of those contacts going through the years, miles and sometimes tribulations but the ones who have stayed in my life make my moments, days and years. They say you have friends for seasons and reasons. I believe that too. It has been studied that women's friendships can fall off during their thirties when careers and life really ramp up. If you can maintain your friendships throughout that busy time then the relationship will most likely last for the rest of the individuals lives. That is pretty amazing.

E and I are a perfect example. We have been friends for thirty years now. She is the sister I never had. On the exterior we could not be more different. She tans like a mofo and I burn unless the tan comes in a bottle. I'm taller and blond. She's petite with glossy dark hair. As kids we fought often, our differences seemed glaring, but then something clicked when we hit junior high and despite being in separate school systems we banded together and became life lines to each other. Sometimes I think she knows more about me than my parents or H.

When I had a series of massive panic attacks right before my wedding it was E that I wanted to hug me. I know, I wanted a hug. Even as a ripped through my parents luggage for my father's stash of xanax I knew that just having her by my side would be enough. She wasn't going to try and make me laugh or take my mind off my nerves. Her presence was enough.

When I was 'in the shit' that was my sophomore year of college tearing up bathrooms, burning things, sobbing at random times and an all around hot mess, she would sit on the phone for hours listening to my woes ($300 plus phone bills!) from her study abroad program in Ecuador.

In big and small instances she has been by my side through the good (SATC marathons, high school dances, college visits and happy hours), the bad, the ugly (high school dances, junior high haircuts, and lime green skeggings) pet deaths and more. I only hope I've been able to be there for her like that too.

In honor of National Friendship Month, it's time to check your friendship inventory. Call that girlfriend in Texas you keep thinking about, the friend who just lost her job or just the one next door. Keep those friendships going. They keep you strong both in body, mind and heart.

Leave a comment about one of your friends and why you love them and it will automatically enter you into my Mummy's Product Review giveaway. I'm giving away five copies of the CD/DVD of Michael Buble Meets Madison Square Garden this week. Good luck!

What Happens at Blogher....

Stays at Blogher, right?

Look at me all grabby with Edward while my fellow blogger is so reserved.



Well, not always. Some things do come home with you.