Working on Chicken

The office she set up contained her phone, laptop, a drink and a "blackberry".

Calling All Maryland Moms!

Juice in the City is looking to launch in the DC Metro area. If you are looking for a nice way to bolster your income or just earn a bit of extra cash then this might be a good opportunity for you. Yes, really. When you apply you already state how much time you can put into the job and what hours work best for you. It's nice to have that information up front. Another great point is that this job helps local small businesses. I'm all for supporting them whenever I can too. It is a great way to bolster your community and its local economy which is needed especially these days.

Want to know more?

Have Fun, Work From Home and Be a Local Hero!Moms, take note! There's a great company (founded by moms) called Juice in the City coming to Bethesda/Chevy Chase! Juice in the City offers great deals to moms and also employs moms part-time to source their deals. If you think you would be interested in having fun, being a local hero, working from home part-time, and making money, you should definitely at least go throw your hat into the ring by applying here. Who knows? It might be your dream job. It is for these local moms (read about their structure here in a recent article). Plus, shhhh, you’ll get $5 credit on the site for completing the app!

Losing a Job- Like the Five Stages of Grief

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date July 25, 2008.

It has been one month since my husband walked through our front door suddenly unemployed. Laid off. One month of us spending time together as a family, having long, quiet talks about everything from the state of our finances, job searching and health insurance quandaries to who we are as a family.


During this past month we have frozen our gym memberships, eliminated contributions to our daughter's college fund and taken away all of life's tiny luxuries that we often take for granted when stockpiling unnecessary items at the grocery store, Target and almost everywhere else. It's been all about less waste and less consumption this past month and we are probably all the better for it. I have however noticed one small thing.

Losing a job is similar to the five stages of grief. Since December my husband knew that lay-offs were occurring in his company. He also knew that he was no longer happy there yet he was right smack in the middle of the land of Denial. He refused to believe that he would be laid off anytime soon. It did not matter how stressed out I became with the possible situation. He was like a petulant toddler. I could not rip the mask of denial from his eyes and make him see that he needed to begin looking for work elsewhere.

As more cutbacks were made and more people eliminated step number two kicked in, Anger. His refusal to see the situation in its true light turned into anger about the situation in general and about having to look for more work. Nothing could make him happy. There would be no standard talks or even pleas to begin finding another job. He claimed he just didn't feel "compelled or motivated enough" to do so. To say that the anger was his and his alone at this point would be an understatement. I was infuriated by this lack of "motivation". It was a bit like trying to get a toddler to do something they really don't want to do, like potty training.

Suddenly, once the iron fist of full unemployment weighed down on him he was on to step three lickety split. Bargaining. Here is where my husband promised that he would no longer work on our real estate investment company's business while doing his next job. It was the quickest of the stages and produced one of my favorite results. Less burnout on his behalf, no longer working two jobs, with me in no way capable of keeping up relieved a lot of stress from our lives. It also reminded me of the tactics my daughter uses just before bedtime. "One more story Mommy? I will go to bed after one more story, I promise..."

This brings us to stage four, Depression. I wish I could say this one was swift as well, but it wasn't. For about one day a week if not more a funk would set in, especially the first week, and my normally happy- go-lucky, talkative spouse would suddenly decide that living in our basement/cave was the best place for him. He would skulk around the house staying up late at night forever staring at job boards on the computer screen becoming almost green from the glow. Growling and grunting became his standard forms of communication followed by long periods of complete silence and staring. As companies began to notice his resume and he garnered interviews the depression lifted and he became a bit more like his old self. If however, he didn't hear anything for a few days post-interview, we were right back into the land of depression.

The final stage, Acceptance is the most gratifying when it comes to job loss. With it has come extreme motivation to find a new job and some actual job offers it seems. While we are not out of the woods yet, health insurance won't kick in until October 1 and my pregnant butt still has to rely on the uber-expensive COBRA plan, we have found that we have not only do we stick together like glue but we have been lucky in this unemployed situation. Oh, and one more thing. That the five stages of grief are also akin to one full day living with a toddler.



Comments






MamaBird/SurelyYouNest said...


I was on COBRA while pregnant too (blechhh). Made me think long and hard about how lucky I was to have health insurance at all. Great post - hang in there, I'm impressed by your sense of humor and taking it all in stride *as a family*.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:37 AM Karen Waters said...


My husband was fired from his job of over 15 years two days after Christmas. I was shell-shocked, but it turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us. He opened his own business and is still running it successfully 8 years later.






I hope your husband's layoff turns out as positive as ours did!






Karen


http://findingme.typepad.com


Reply July 25, 2008 at 11:49 AM Andrea said...


You seem to be handling it very well, even while pregnant, and it sounds like some of the stresses are lifting. You're still in my thoughts.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 12:31 PM Liza said...


Ok, this post reminded me of why I love the Internet, and this community in particular.






Today marks the 2 week anniversary of my being told that I'm getting laid off, effective mid-September. C-section #2 is scheduled for 5 weeks from today, 2 weeks before layoff date.






Thanks for making me feel less alone.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 01:53 PM feener said...


ok, this post scares me b/c my hubby's company has been laying off for almost 2 years. he feels the pressure yet he has not sent one resume out. i have tried coaxing him...i always get 'i will soon' never to happen.


Reply July 25, 2008 at 03:08 PM BananaBlueberry said...


My thoughts and prayers are with you.






If it is any consolation- I know that I could not write such an eloquent and articulate post about my husband being laid off- while being pregnant.






Again, you have always been 'that smart upbeat mom' to me...






I'm thinking about you :)


Reply July 27, 2008 at 06:18 PM Vicky said...


Wow- everyone thank you so much for the continued support and belief in me and my family. It means so much and it makes me well up with emotion.






I guess I don't know how else to be besides trying to be upbeat at this point. I spent the months before the lay off sleepless and stressed over it's possibility and now there is nothing left in that dept. for me to give.

So Long Old Friend

Recently I posted about how good it felt to come away from an afternoon spent with friends and colleagues.  It was the SVMoms Group DC Metro Moms Symposium and I needed it.  Weeks later it was announced that SVMoms would soon cease to exist.

I can't tell you how sad this has made me.  Being a part of SVMoms/DCMM was one of my favorite parts of being in this field.  I not only enjoyed the camaraderie of other women, writers and friends but came away from each meeting and get together feeling revitalized, smarter and more accomplished. While DCMM didn't pay, it provided something so much more invaluable to me than monetary means.  There were adventures that happened because I wrote for that group, opportunities presented themselves that created more adventures like syndication, the BBC in our house and then there was actual paid and exciting work. 

Over my years with SVMoms/DCMM I forged friendships and watched other women grow and create amazing groups that I am not sure would have been possible if we had not all found each other through this little ol' LLC.  I'm partial to thinking that if Gayle hadn't sent me to Memphis one weekend in November I never would spent a day with Kristen in a Chevy Malibu learning about Twitter but ultimately creating a friendship that a year later would be such an amazing blessing.  She's an angel that, Kristen.  Did I ever tell you about the time she read a desperate blog post of mine and within an hour was at my front door with hugs, food and help?  Oh yeah, she did that. She rescued me big time that day and I'm still grateful.  Then there's Sarah, Devra, Jodi and all the others who make me laugh, teach me continuously about our blogging community, this "thing" we do for fun and work and our locale.  They are women I'm proud to call my friends and cohorts.  They have made my life richer in ways I never would have imagined was possible just a few years back. 

And it all started with SVMoms and I will always be grateful I got to be part of something so great that gave so much to me and so many others.  So long dear friend, I will miss you, but you have created something so special that is leaving other great things in its place. 

The Tiniest Room

You know you are in a tiny hotel room when you can see every part of the room from every part of the room. 

You know you are in a tiny hotel room when you have to stand in the shower to shut the bathroom door.

You know you are in a tiny hotel room when you iron your shirt for work that day and it sets off the smoke alarm in your room. 

I'm afraid I might start hitting the walls with my ever-growing stomach next.

Traveling is Cake

Oh, sad little, lonely blog.  I've been so neglectful these past few weeks as I live my own version of the movie, "Up in the Air".  Each day I wake up in a different bed, my cell phone alarm chiming away at me. A breakfast suprise awaits me as I head to the lobby or to venture out on my own to find some food.  The worst was the area that didn't have a single place open for breakfast and I had to resort to chugging instant oatmeal out of a cup with out even a spoon. This was also the same place that had no internet service.  Hello, 1994!!! 

Good times. 

My bank account will be happy, the review site will be brimming with hotel and car reviews too. I'll be debuting my new brand of review, "Sneak Attack!" style reivew, so stay tuned.  Hotels around the country considered yourself warned. 

It's fun, tiring and a great way to feel independent as I navigate new areas, work with various types of people and organizations and find new places to sustain myself.  I miss H and I miss the kids but I have yet to miss our daily grind.  When clients say to me, "How do you do this while being pregnant?" I just smile and say, "THIS is a whole lot easier than climbing the stairs of a townhouse all day long with two small kids, laundry and all that entails."  And it's true.  Giving presentations, delegating and overseeing  events is less of a strain on me than making three squares, cleaning a home, running errands with little ones in tow and all the while trying to work.  To me, this is cake. 

I Don't Just Write. I Speak in Public Too.

Recently, I had the pleasure of speaking to a local women's group. The topic for the night was Earth Day.  Along with me was a woman from my local Public Works office. After she discussed recycling, volunteerism and much more (There are over 22 trash companies serving my county and only two trash inspectors! Animal waste running into our rivers and streams is a HUGE issue. Blech.  Pick up your yard poop was the message.)  I got up, rather nervously, to speak about products that help you green your life. 

After about a minute I found it quite easy speaking to this group of women. They were interested, had loads of questions and since I genuinely love the topic of green products I felt like I was on a roll.  I could have gone on for over an hour if I wanted to just talking about mineral make-up, laundry detergent, floor cleaner and the amazing eye make-up remover I have found.  All of it earth and people friendly.  Which, quite frankly, so many of our products are not. 

At the end of the night I was happy.  I had found a new outlet* and something that was scary (I used to dread public speaking and presentations more than a bag full of cats on meth being dumped on me.) wasn't anymore.  It was just the boost of confidence I needed for this upcoming month when I will be speaking to five more groups around the country.  The idea which previously had my palms prematurely sweating.



*I would be happy to speak to you and your organization about going green, easing into a green lifestyle and the products that can help take you there.  If you want more information about how to make that possible, contact me at veamason AT gmail DOT com.

In addition, if you live in the Northern Virginia area, a new chapter of Holistic Moms is meeting tonight. Details are here. 

My Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

You put on the dress, ripping off the tags and feel brand new. Your heels click importantly as you wheel your suitcase out to the car and you breathe a sigh of relief. Aaah, I feel ready to work and professional.

Then you stop for gas before getting on the road and your GPS feels cranky. It clearly isn't feeling professional today and doesn't want to play either.  After twenty minutes of fiddling with it, cursing at it, downloading apps to your phone and calling your spouse you have directions.  You are now late.  The feelings of professionalism begin to recede as anxiety carves a pit into your stomach.  You glance at the clock and think, "There is still time. I'm fine." 

You coast down the highway in your new car, getting used to its feel and briefly accelerate too hard.  Realizing the errors of your ways you slow down.  Too late. A cop flashes his lights and you are pulled over. More time is sucked away and you try not to scream at him as you tell him that you just got the car last night and it's a real step up from a '98 Corolla.  Being blond, pregnant and female does nothing for you. Neither does the "I have to pee!" excuse.  He, like the GPS, doesn't feel like playing.  At least you got out of a criminal offense and just got a ticket. Cringing, heart beating fast you grip the steering wheel and head back onto the highway.  You finally make it to the city you need to be in, but not your destination.  The minutes are flying by and instead of being there an hour early you will barely be on time.  IF everything from here on out goes smoothly. 

Oh look! A sign up ahead for a toll.  Funny, I don't see a toll.  Just a parking lot and parts of downtown.  Right. That parking lot attendants booth was not a parking lot attendant booth. It was in fact the toll and you just drove right through it.  GAH!  Breathe. Just breathe. Flames will not shoot out the sides of your head or come billowing off your face.  So what that part of your paycheck will go towards fees and fines now.  At least you have a job.  Right?  Right.  If you can get there on time. 

Up ahead at the light you are ready to cross the bridge to your final destination.  WHY IN THE WORLD ARE THERE ROAD BLOCK SIGNS?!  WHY IN GOD'S NAME IS THIS HAPPENING?  You check to see if your blue dress has suddenly turned into a yellow shirt with a black zig zag pattern.  Nope. Good grief.  It's not even ten a.m.!  Pulling over you call your work and they direct you to the site.  You have made it.  You feel sweaty, nervous and totally freaked out.  What more could happen today to make this day complete?  You don't even want to know. 

Later, when the work day is complete. All you want to do is head to the hotel and get something to eat.  Here's what else can happen.  You spend an hour with a dead GPS looking for your hotel, not even finding a gas station to stop at to ask for directions.  Your phone dies half way through this ordeal.  So much for those downloaded apps.  Finally, you miraculously find the hotel.  Alone. Not a soul or restaurant in miles to be found.  You set your suitcase down, chug some water and are relieved the day is done.  Tomorrow WILL be better.  It has to be. 

Hershey! Our First Family Vacation

When I saw this sign I assumed this would be the weirdest moment of our trip to Hershey, PA. Well, we all know what happens when you assume, right?



Since our room wasn't ready yet at the incredibly family friendly Hershey Lodge (TD jumped up and down when she realized she could check-in to the hotel herself.) we decided to check out the Butterfly House at the Children's Garden. TD loves Fancy Nancy and her azure butterflies. The kid was so excited about seeing purple butterflies flitting about that she jumped down from our truck and literally hit the pavement. We all heard the smack and instantly our day turned upside down. H ripped off his shirt and used it to cover the gash while I found a bottle of water to rinse the cut. When he took away the t-shirt blood poured out of the wound and I tried my best to clean it out. We knew right away that an ER visit was imminent. Luckily, there is a magnificent one right near the Lodge.

The Hershey Medical Center was fantastic. They took us in right away and tended to our needs without a fuss or long wait. While it took away from our day and we needed to reschedule some things the minute we mentioned Chocolate World TD perked right up.

Typically I am not an amusement park type person. I don't do coasters and I'm afraid of heights. However, I found myself having a whole lot of fun on this trip. It was our first time going somewhere besides a relatives house for vacation and the girls did incredibly well. TD rode almost every kiddie ride with or without H and I and The Comedian napped on an off throughout the day. The staff at Hershey Park was always friendly and accommodating just as they were at the Lodge, Hershey Hotel and The Hershey Story museum where each girl created a front-page newspaper story with photo.


I thoroughly enjoyed my time at the hotel's Chocolate Spa taking in a Cocoa Massage, the 'Quiet Room' with its uplifting and tranquil views of the Hotel grounds and rolling hills nearby. Naturally I took advantage of the hot cocoa and chocolate muffins offered. When H texted me that the girls were napping in our room I decided to prolong my stay and headed to the Iberian Lounge for a drink. I snapped some gorgeous photos and immersed myself in the early Twentieth Century decor. It's quite beautiful and elegant. I felt that at any moment I was going to hear an 'America's Castles' voice over in the background.

We finally did make it over to the Hershey Gardens and Butterfly House. Once inside, TD did not want to leave. She was intent on looking for a purple butterfly and wouldn't stop until she found one.

We capped off our trip with a tasty brunch at the Hershey Grill with some of the Hershey Company staff who then showed us around the Milton Hershey School. That place is amazing! It's grounds are picturesque and there is an air of serenity that surrounds the place. It is a combination elementary, middle and high school that looks much like a university campus. I am eager to learn more about this portion of Hershey as it is a worthy organization that helps needy children from all over giving them an outstanding education.

While we were all exhausted by Sunday we were sad to leave Hershey. We did so much in such a short time. We felt we hit just the tip of all the town and parks had to offer. We cannot wait to go back and explore it all further. It was the perfect first family vacation for us and we can't thank the Hershey Company and all the staff enough for making it possible.

Besides, who wouldn't love a trip that included all this?

Where's Mummy- #34

Funny, I have yet to see a scene like this since I've arrived in the desert. I've seen my fair share of tumbleweeds, abandoned buildings and prehistoric dragonfly type insects that scare the beejeezus out of me. Oh and some vicious little black beetles that like to crawl under my hotel door at night and scoot around the floor. Frightening!


It is more like this-

My fine dining choices consist of Applebee's and Chili's and I'm done. You would think I could find an interesting little Mexican eatery but alas there is nada. Ooh, I'm already speaking the language. Heh.

Did I mention that the hotel hair dryer doesn't work? I'm sportin' the most interesting do. It's part beach wavy, part matted mangy dog hair hot mess. I had to conduct a training session like that yesterday. Today I'm out greeting the public looking like I just spent the night on a side walk. By the time my red-eye flight rolls into DC tomorrow I will be looking like I let some desert tweakers style my hair.

If you can figure out where I am, I'll send you something interesting.

Lessons in Working Mother Travel

You know it is just so awesome when you hear the words, "We're going to need to do a bag check..." and you know that bag is yours. That bag that will soon be pawed through contains only two things- work clothes and your breast pump.

Ooh, that scary black bag within a bag. Dun, da, da, dun dun.

When the tech asked, "Ma'am is there anything in this bag that is sharp and could attack me?" Umm... you mean like a cougar? No. I really wanted to say, "No, sir! Just watch out for yer teets! There's some major suction in them there breastsheilds, they might just suck yer fingers clear to the bone."

Note to self: Next time don't pack your panties in the breast pump storage space. Saving space isn't as important as keeping airport security from de-sterilizing all your gear and touching your unmentionables.


I'm giving away a Robbert Bobbert CD and a Gazillion Bubble Machine at MPR this week!

A Star is Born. Heh.

I am not crafty by any means but when TD's 'dee-dee' (a.k.a. her pink security blanket) needed mending I skedaddled my butt over to the craft emporium known as Jo-Ann Fabrics. Stores like that just lose me. I circled the aisles looking for pink embroidery thread and just wanted out. The lines were not to be believed with some clever maze of candy for at least 30 feet before you hit the register. Need cute baby Easter socks? Only a dollar! Yes, please! I mean what else do you get a 5 month old for Easter?

I digress though. As I stood there in line picking up a pack of Twizzlers and a Whatchamacallit to pass the time I noticed the woman in front of me staring at me. After a few minutes she said, "I know you from somewhere." I didn't recognize her at all. "You must have had a child in one of my first grade classes." She continued. "Er...no. That's not possible." I told her. "Well, I just know I know you from somewhere!" Finally, after her continuing on like this for another minute or so I threw out the pathetic line of, "Well, I am a writer. Sometimes my photo is with my work..." Gah! I felt like seeping into the floor just muttering that line. All of a sudden she blinked and it clicked in her brain. "Yes! I do know you! You're Mummy Chronicles! Wait until I tell my husband I saw you. He's just outside!"

Whoa.

Never in a million years did I think that would ever, ever happen. I'm glad she likes my blog though and finds my writing "helpful and funny." That made my day despite my blushing and still wanting the floor to swallow me whole.



For those of you who were kind enough to look for me and my blogging friends on GMA yesterday. Sorry to disappoint. We were cut out of the segment it seems. You can view the clip about 23andMe as well as what it's all about here though.

Why I Spat also known as My New Job

As if reviewing products, making vain attempts to make you all laugh on a daily basis, writing for other websites and more I've decided to take on yet another new job. In the coming months you will notice that at different times in this space there will be teasers regarding my adventures with my past pregnancies, being genotyped and a whole other realm of experiences I have had relating to both subjects. I'm working with 23andMe to help them establish their online pregnancy community. It is our hope that through this venue more patterns can be established, links built and research can be done relating to women's health and pregnancy.

If you want to read my first post, 'Why I Spat', "Good genes or bad genes I am not sure there is such a thing. It is a vast lottery of our pasts and our future that makes us who we are, adding in genes, good or bad simply cements things. Take me for example, as long as I can remember everyone in my family has died the same way."

It is a subject I am very passionate about and cannot wait to delve into more heavily. That being said, research breakthroughs are only possible if enough women participate by answering surveys-- if you are currently pregnant or have been pregnant before please visit the pregnancy community and complete a short survey.

On Going Back to Work

Sometimes an opportunity presents itself in such a way that it cannot be resisted. That is exactly what happened to me a few weeks ago when we were in the thick of the evening ritual of sit-down-eat-your-dinner-now with holy-crap-the-baby-is-crying-and a side of we-still-need-bath-and-storytime-to-go-down-without-a-hitch followed by the cry of hurry!-where-is-mommy's-wine!!

A friend called stating that she had a new position opening up in her company and it would be just perfect for me. I could travel! (think exciting locales like Boston, SoCal and maybe even Lubbock, Texas!) Sleep in a hotel, eat room service and read a whole book on a plane. Such bliss cannot be believed. Did I mention that it pays and pays enough to make child care possible? It's also only about 2 days a month.

Heaven, right?

So far. Though I don't officially start until early next month. I am effectively going back to work. There will be at home office hours and follow-up work to be done for certain. It will be piled on with my other writing gigs making me feel more like a full-time working mother than ever before. I'm excited (new clothes!) and a bit stressed (still need child care!) but venturing back into the work force a bit more is just what I need. I've had my toe wading in it for the past few years and it has been loads of fun. I look forward to it each day but I like meaty projects that require a bit more professionalism now and again and this new job will hopefully keep me from feeling like week-old bread.

Working mothers guilt has yet to be determined.

I Want My Two Dollars!

If only it were that simple or even that insignificant amount of money. However, it is not.

Here's the problem- some months ago I was hired to be a blogging consultant to launch a particularly new (and by new I mean, having no idea what the heck they were getting themselves into, all very obvious now) scheduling company to the DC Metro area. I was ecstatic. I completely believed in and loved the product. The company is woman-owned and family friendly too. It was proof-positive that going to BlogHer can get you work too.

Rates were negotiated. Plans outlined. Contracts were signed. Work officially began.

Then things started to go awry. Emails were missed and bounced back. Contact was a bit hard to make. I tried to hold to it all together and make the campaign as successful as I could on the 5 hours a week I was allotted. Not much time in the grand scheme of things and truthfully I worked over that five each week just to get done what I did. The whole project took four weeks total. I charged them for three because I knew things were tight for them budget-wise. I couldn't excuse that third week because I had worked almost 10 hours that week alone. I needed to be paid.

And I was. For two weeks. Now? Nothing. My last $350 is not being sent. Why? They didn't budget it despite what my contract states, "a minimum of two weeks of work" and an agreement that I would be paid regardless. I am livid.

I want my money. I want to take the high road and not run their name through the mud but I'm wondering if after all this time (work ended in early September) I should just go ahead and call them out here and here and amongst my whole blogging network. They gleaned contacts from me through this project. My word and reputation is on the line. If another blogger is screwed out of hard-earned money because companies think they don't have to actually pay a blogger for work then they have another thing coming.

So, Internets- some advice? What would you do?

To think they had the nerve to ask me just last week to do more press for them as well. Sickening.

And We're LIVE in 5,4,3,2,1!

It's here.

The Graco, Ready for the Road Ahead campaign has officially launched today.

For all of you (Hi Mom!) who have been waiting with baited breath for my big Graco debut you can view it in all it's glory here and my car seat demonstration here.

I find it incredibly cool that while I hate watching myself and thinking, "Man! My face looks pregnant despite all that mascara and lip gloss!" that I still feel honored to be part of this whole shebang. The other bloggers are such naturals! I love Graco for their products but now also because the company and the people behind this whole project are just so wonderful and down to earth. They are the best to work with and there might even be more to come.

So enjoy! Don't laugh too hard at my interviews and car seat demonstration. OK, laugh all you want. I would honestly never know.

What Part of Vacation Do I Not Understand?

Holy Melting Hell.

I'm in New England for a bit of a breather. TD and I did the solo flight up here yesterday and can I just say that if a plane full of kids can be fab then we had it? Yes, Virginia it really is possible to soar through the air with the greatest of ease and actually have a kid who thinks even the bumpy parts of the plane ride are fun. "More bumps," TD exclaimed and "Faster! More Faster!" I think I fell in love with her a bit more, if that is possible, in those moments.

Now for the holy melting hell part. I'm up here chillin', maxin', wishin' I was at a pool or ocean but no, indeed I am glued to my hot box of a laptop working. Le Sigh.

I am swelling and pissy.

Not a good combo in even the non-pregnant.

Thank goodness for grandparents who actually go on solo excursions with the child and take full control while I spin out of it.

Later, Internets I'm off to the trenches. Hi, ho, Hi ho....


P.S. Please check out MPR today. Good reviews and I'm giving away a copy of Meet the Sight Words.

Wish for a Day? Try a Week.

"If you could have one wish for the day, what would it be?" This popped into my head last week and I thought, "Ha! Easy! I wish H, and all other men, could know what it is like, REALLY like to be pregnant." However, a day would just not cut it. Give me a week. And no empathy bellies, please!


A week for them to-


Know that being hungry means I might seriously resort to cannibalism if we don't have dinner right now. There is no more snacking there is only dinner and I mean now. Do you value that arm? Do you want your kid with one less appendage? OK, then. Let's eat.


Understand and truly feel what it is like to feel as if the weight of the world is falling out of your crotch and yet you are not even close to being in labor. Nope. You are about three months from that.


To cry because your underwear no longer fit. Neither do your shoes or any of the maternity clothes you bought just a few months ago. And the intense anger you feel when someone says, "What's the problem? You're pregnant!" Um... the problem? I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO BUY MORE UNDERPANTS! I don't want to have to go through another pair of shoes/jeans/shirts every few months and blow our tiny clothing budget on clothes that fall apart after a few washes and shrink, stretch or fade to ugliness after a few more than that. It's infuriating!


The sheer weight of a pregnant stomach. The backache, the knee aches, all the aches. Yes, for some women pregnancy is a beautiful thing. They never felt better. That is not me. Each time I roll over at night I wake up. Yet, I must roll over so my hips stop aching, my shoulders stop throbbing and so my arms won't fall asleep, all from the simple fact that I can only sleep on my side now.


To know what it is like to never be alone. Hard to feel alone or quite yourself when another human has taken up residence right in your middle parts.


I thought all these things last week when I realized that I could no longer see my bikini line, paint my toe nails and that I miss running terribly. They are all simply impossible right now. That and I wanted curly fries, a donut and a chocolate milkshake more than I ever wanted anything before in my life. It was almost perverse how much I wanted those curly fries. I'm still thinking about them and drooling in a Homer Simpson like way over them.





Anyone else awakened by this sad news? I'll be thinking about the father of the foundation of disco and other genres of music and that waa-waa guitar sound today as I go about my business. So much more than Shaft. And Chef for that matter.



Ending on a good note- Beginning today I'm blogging weekly for Honest Baby here.

At Least Someone is Working

Hello from the unemployed front! We are in week two of all being under the same roof all the time. And while H has turned his job search into a full time job and I'm plugging away at all my little unpaid, ahem! someone throw me a bone here!, gigs we are for all intensive purposes a dual no-income household. Kick ass.

Except T.D.

She is apparently working. All the time. Whenever I ask her what she is doing, be it playing with Play-Doh or helping me sort laundry she tells me, "I'm working Mama! I'm working!" I don't have the heart to tell her we can't pay her for her services.

She thinks we are working too. Yesterday morning as I cleaned the shower she came over and inspected my workmanship, hands on hips and intoned, "Mama working. Mama is working..." Funny, I thought when I quit that motel maid job (apparently the place hasn't been cleaned since I worked there.) back in 1995 my days of being paid jack for scrubbing bathrooms was over.

Let's Talk Graco, Shall We?

While I think that Joeprah said it best and the most comprehensive and Kelcey and Sheila were very funny with their portrayals and photos, which I am ashamed to say, I have did not take. Many of you have asked- "Just what the sam hill were you doing over there in Hotlanta with Graco?!"

Well, aside from being treated like a rock star or royalty, seriously this lowly blogger had no idea it would be that good, Graco and LBi could not have been more helpful, generous or easy-going while we did the whole Car Seat Campaign shebang. After a day of pampering and good eatin' we arrived on the set early on Wednesday morning. First things first, I got a bit of hair and make up done as well as a wardrobe change. I quickly found that while I don't know jack about installing my own car seat Graco was more than happy to teach me the in's and outs of their TurboBooster seat and its installation.

I can now install that sucker like a Price's Right model. Though really? I suck at latching. I had a lot of re-takes.

Next up, I did my voice-over so next time you log on to the Graco site and want to know how to install that booster seat you can not only see me clicking and locking it into place all easy-peasy like you can also hear me explaining it all to you and only you. How fun is that? It was loads of fun actually.

Finally, at the end of the day I did my interview. You know, the part where I discuss how our family gets on the road and travels to grandma's house. I waxed poetic about motherhood and how it has not made me all nurturing and such. Told funny stories (to H & I) about things T.D. has done in the car and then as quickly as I arrived in Hotlanta it was over. Poof! I was loaded in to a town car and Kelcey and I were headed back up North. In full make-up.

HD-TV style make-up. My on-screen gorgeous clearly did not translate well as I got quite a few startled looks from passengers on the plane and in the airport. I looked like Tammy Faye by the time I landed in DC. Complete with the mascara smudges and all.

The whole trip was tiring but a blast. I feel so honored to be a part of it and would LOVE to do it again. You hear that baby gear companies, car companies, whatever and where ever you are? I Would LOVE to DO IT AGAIN.


Since it's vacation time for this family I'll be back again soon. I'll post pics of my dangerous vacationing eating habits and make you wish you too had a clamcake to munch on. Until then, click on my ads- it's my only source of income right now. You think I'm kidding...