Give it Up for Rhode Islander, Viola Davis & The Help

Kathryn Stockett, Emma Stone, Viola Davis

Browsing my Entertainment Weekly and having just seen an advanced screening of the movie, The Help I read that actress, Viola Davis is from Central Falls, Rhode Island.

Really?! She grew up in Narragansett and Central Falls? She went to RIC!

I wonder if she longs for clamcakes like I do and thinks of crisp, clean lemony Del's drinks on long summer days. Does she crave Newport Creamery grilled cheese sandwiches? Does she actually know what Jai Alai is and doesn't just think it is some now defunct client from Mad Men? I bet she calls her turn signals directionals too.

I already loved this woman for her roles in Doubt, Syriana, Without a Trace, Traveler, and State of Play. Now, I like her even more. Her portrayal of Abileen was spot on in The Help.

I'm pleased to say that the movie follows the book rather closely too. That doesn't happen very often in films. You will laugh out loud. You will sit in a theater full of sniffling, tears falling and nose blowing and probably applaud at the end. It is a truly heartfelt, lovely film that I would gladly see again.

Charlie Sheen, Gadaffi and G.O.B. Bluth

Last night as H and I were having a bit of uninterrupted conversation I said to him, "You know I had a moment yesterday in the car where I realized that the more I hear Charlie Sheen and Gadaffi speak, the more they sound the same."

It's true.

One gives three hour speeches just to hear himself speak.  The other has an endless twitter stream that can't be stopped.  Both make no sense to anyone but their delusional selves. 

Gadaffi says things that make me have a Seth and Amy moment a la SNL's 'Weekend Update'.  For instance stating that the people of Libya are fine and love him.  Revolts? What revolts? No problems to speak of here.   Um, "REALLY Gadaffi? REALLY?!"


Charlie Sheen, Gadaffi and G.O.B. Bluth they are all starting to sound the same (yeah that is my real score on who said what- G.O.B or Sheen).  Maybe Emilio needs to get a little Billy the Kid on his brother's ass.

And you know what?  They are all "winners" in their own eyes. 

SCOREBOARD!



*Images from adenzone.blogspot.com, hart-beats.blogspot.com.

GoDaddy.com Super Bowl Commercial Equals FAIL

It is probably no surprise that I don't like GoDaddy.com commercials, especially during the Super Bowl. Their obvious attempt at using scantily clad women to draw people to their product isn't even tongue in cheek or even a cute, cheeky attempt at humor.  It's just dumb and contrived. 

Imagine my delight when I discovered the Network Solutions (I swear this is NOT sponsored) commercial starring Cloris Leachman.  Now this is an ad that makes me want to visit its website.



Adding in Blogher's very own Lisa Stone is just an added bonus.  I heart commercials that show people I have met and talked to and worked with IRL.  Who doesn't?  It's true too. We "geeks" want real answers to our tech issues and questions not women in leather flipping their hair and showing their tata's. 

GoDaddy.com commercial - 0.  Cloris Leachman Network Solutions ad-1

P.S. I really wanted to call this post, "GoDaddy Can Suck Cloris Leachman's Right Tit. "  But you know, I wanted to keep it classy. 

A Bit Gaga Over Here

I'm addicted to this right now. Thanks Mamapop! In my moments of insanity today I just want to watch this over and over again then run to my make-up collection and start painting away until H comes home to something truly beautiful yet terrifying. Way more than this, that's for sure.

Except I can't.

I'm planning a first birthday party for The Comedian for tomorrow. Apple cupcakes seemed like a great idea at the time, all cute with pretzel stems and green jelly bean leaves. Then I caught the death that was hanging in the petri dish that is my doctor's office and I've been down for the count all week. Work has been left by the wayside, the house went insane and the non-stop rain has both kids acting like escapees from the local asylum.

The vacuum is glaring at me from the corner. Says she has other places to be and things to do. Those cupcakes aren't frosting themselves either.


I couldn't resist-


Is it art or total freak-show melodrama? There's so much about this video that I absolutely fall in love with each time I watch it. It has drama, comedy, a bit of horror and um, that annoying "let's dance for men" factor that always pisses me off.

For Reals

I'm still sore for session 71 of Body Pump yesterday. Even the tiny bones in my ankles are crying for mercy.

I forgot to pack my underwear in my gym bag today. For reals y'all. I had to put my granny panties that I wear to the gym back on my just showered behind. Blech. I felt about eights ways of dirty afterwards.

TD said, "I'm sorry for saying, "F*cking Comedian!" the other day." After I closed my gaping mouth with my hand I told her thank you. I'll spare you the lecture that occurred afterwards, including my chagrin and inward cringing.

There are seven miles to be run this weekend. Yes, all at the same time. And you know what? I'm actually really excited about it. I know I'll be exhausted afterwards but it's so much fun getting out there even in the freezing rain that was last weekend. I'll be kickin' the miles to this song too. Cue 70's cop chase, please. TD told me it hurts her ears and she would rather be listening to Barney. The kid clearly has crap for music taste.

Black mules with black mid-calf socks, zebra printed underpants and a black bra? For reals. I saw just that ensemble, and only that ensemble, in the ladies locker room today. For about a half hour. Finally the woman put some freakin' pants on.

I think my Mirena is making me fat. I'm gaining weight, and no it is not muscle. For reals.

I think my Mirena is causing global warming. I'm blaming it for this too.

Ten Months

In hindsight we probably should have just called you, Bluto. Not The Comedian. Yes, you love to laugh at completely inappropriate times and forever have a smile on your face but in the last few months you appear to be more like the Bluto character from Animal House.

You steal people's drinks and act like it's just part of your charm. You are an eating machine. You often palm a bottle and chug it so fast that we can hear the air being sucked out from a few rooms away. You cruise around for any scrap of food or debris and are always up for a good food fight.

Bah keep! I'd like anotha!

My hair is stylin'. I fall a lot. Don't be judgin'.

Lastly,
You've already mastered the one raised eyebrow stare. I kid you not.

I'm talking about Empathy and slapping other people's kids at Honest Baby and about being Nickled and Dimed with "Are you there Congress? It's me the Middle Class" at DC Metro Moms.

"Little Pukes" Piss Me Off

From the files of... 'Not So Quietly Seething', I bring you this little tidbit about a certain entertainer. Though really? Is he entertaining anyone these days? I wish he were entertaining the idea of jail time but sadly it is not going to happen.


Hours after Chris Brown is sentenced for abusing his girlfriend Rhianna he is seen at an LA Club, clearly already violating his sentence. *Sigh*



Where is this dudes parole officer? Seriously?! I feel the waves of an angry mob coming on. I'm hoping another report comes out soon about how many of the women in that club doused him with their drinks and forcibly removed him from the club. Is that too much to ask?


Photo courtesy of TMZ.

I've Learned A Lot From Paris Hilton

I feel so educafied!

As I sit working in my desert hotel I'm getting a dose of Bravo that I never have at home. Yes, sad little DISH network doesn't carry Bravo. No Top Chef for me. I'm still rolling old school style with Hell's Kitchen. No Bravo also means no Kathie Griffin D-list either. I feel so sad now knowing that I'm clearly missing out on some quality viewing and edumacation as I watch her shop and hang with Paris Hilton. For example:

-Shopping is the best and only work out for Ms. Hilton. It burns more calories than anything else. (Who knew that all I had to do was cruise Target for my cardio. Finally! I have a use for that three year-old and nine month old- weights!)

- Always be posing. Even if it's just while you are standing in line. You never know when someone will be snapping your picture. (Good to know. I'm so tired of those terrible pictures of me surfacing while I stand in line at Wegman's buying this weeks gdiapers.)

-Only ugly girls get down on their knees. (You know what I mean.)

-You can always spray on your cleavage with Mystic Tan.

- No one actually goes to the pool to swim. You make an entrance only. Wearing gold heels is preferable.


What am I going to do when I go home sans Bravo and all this valuable information is no longer available to me? I'll be like a tiny toy breed dog without its teacup.

The Thirty Second Vacation

I once heard the comedian Louis C.K. (he's not for everyone, I'll admit.) say that every parent gets a thirty second vacation. It's that brief moment when you have buckled them into their car seat, shut the door and walk over to your own seat. In that small window of time there is silence from the incessant toddler chatter and it is a little bit of heaven. A thirty second vacation.

Between the yelling of poo-poo pants (inside the bathroom only, but still...), non-stop questions that she has asked everyday, at the same time and just the noise. Oh, the noise. It never ends. I might just put the kids in the car and start circling it. You know, check the tires, my pockets, make sure my side mirrors are in the correct position and basically just get a few laps in. I'll crack the windows. Don't worry.

Read all about it!
"Blogher is Coming! Like the British Just Not as Detrimental."

My partial summer reading list is over at Role Mommy! Also, here's the radio show I did with Beth earlier this month if you care to listen.

The Backwards Mullet & Chocolate World

While I'm not a fan or avid viewer, this woman just nails Kate Gosselin.

Kate Gosselin Match.com Profile Video - watch more funny videos

She Thinks She's Jesus

TD walks into the room, beaded Mardi Gras style necklaces draped diagonally across her body and says, "Look, Mommy! I'm Jesus." The scene repeats itself over and over again on the stairs and in other rooms in the house. Daily.

Then earlier this morning she was having a conversation with her little friend, Wagee. When I say little I mean it. Wagee is an ant that made its way into our kitchen and TD has been trying to take Wagee all over the house. Mainly though they hang out in a corner of the kitchen.

As if the Jesus thing wasn't starting to weird me out a tad this whole, tiny pest-like friend in the kitchen thing positively wreaks of memories from a certain dead pop star and his childhood friend, Ben. Shall I remind you people that Ben was a rat.

What's next? An oxygen tank in her bedroom or requesting to be on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine, thorns and all? Maybe listening to Kanye when she had colic wasn't the best idea after all.

Randomness #235- I look like Harry Potter

-Those crazy folks at Poo-pourri are at it again- "Poo~Pourri is a spray deodorizer designed to be sprayed directly onto the toilet bowl water before you go. The secret blend essential oils create a film on the surface of the toilet water that acts as a barrier to trap odors inside." Secret blend? Makes me think of the Colonel's secret blend of herbs and spices and to never wanting to eat fried chicken ever again.


-I stopped shredding and gained four pounds. Probably because I also consumed four pounds of cadbury eggs, chocolate marshmallow bunnies and a load of Hershey products all in a few short weeks. My insides feel disgusting. Time to detox! Who's coming with me?!


-I read that Speidi will be honeymooning in Mexico. Can it be true? Will the apocalypse caused by this union be diverted if they get Swine flu? Would that be a 'very special' episode of The Hills if they did? Cue deathbed scene with special guest LC...


-Skin glue is like the most delicious scab that I want to pick. I find myself constantly touching it and then slapping my hand away.


-According to my friends my head gash makes me look like Harry Potter. Awesome. Just awesome.








I'm getting bookish at Honest Baby in 'Mummy Goes Literary'. It's 'Just the Two of Us' at DC Metro Moms. Check them both out!



Get in on the 'Friday Fun Finds' at MPR today!

Quick! Has Hell Frozen Over Already?

Dammit! Here I was all set to enjoy Thanksgiving this week but it looks like it will be canceled now that the apocalypse is upon us. That's right folks. The less than dynamic duo, Speidi, has tied the knot. All holy hell has broken loose and the world is about to end.

Or maybe just for Heidi.

I could make jokes about how they probably registered at Guns and Ammo but I'll just say this-

Heidi,

Keep your Bolt House and Mtv money to yourself even if it is California and you have to split things 50/50 later. Find a friend who isn't afraid of that creepy guy you just eloped with and make amends with your family. You'll need them later too.

And now I'll go back to dreaming about the cornbread dressing I'll be eating in just mere days and wiping the drool off my keyboard.

Basic Emotions 101

Anger- The overwhelming feeling I had when I heard that the totally less than dynamic duo Speidi might be doing a cameo on one of my favorite shows, 'How I Met Your Mother'. AUGH! That banging sound is none other than Neil Patrick Harris slamming his head repeatedly against a sound stage wall as he watches his show succumb to total crapdom. I might have to just stop watching. Are they trying to take over the world (no shame! they have no shame in these photos!) one tiny step at a time or what? I thought the music videos were torture enough.

Joy- I'm gettin' paaaiid! Seems after some help from a blogging friend and a bit of nutting up on my part, the company I was working with has decided to send their final check for services rendered-at last. Sweet Victory is mine! Well, it will be when I cash that sucker.

Sad- OK, maybe sad is a bit of a reach but a bit of disappointment could be more the truth when I heard that Deanna and Jesse of last season's Bachelorette have decided to call it quits. Rumor has it, spilled by the shows host Chris Harrison, that Deanna wants fame and fortune Hollywood style and dumped snowboarding Jesse as if he was yellow snow. Yeah, I just said that.

Happy- A simple list for you all since I don't do ditty's.

Obama is the new Reagan? Fascinating take. Maybe it's just me?

Thanksgiving is just around the corner and I'm not cooking! I'm ordering in! Whoo hoo!

All the well wishes, the 'hang in there' comments and friends who have emailed or called to offer help and/or support as I become so incredibly, mind-numbingly boring with this pregnancy and myself. Tedious takes on a whole new meaning at this point. THANK YOU! It means more than I can adequately express. If I liked hugging, I would hug you.

Dance marathons in my house. H & TD seem to be extending the Saturday Night Fever thing to weeknights and have taken to doing everything from slam dancing, hand jiving to re-enacting the Thriller video in the living room on various occasions. I really need to break out the video camera next time.

My Boycott of 'The Hills'

At first, it was just that smarmy feeling. A tiny alarm bell that went off in the back of my brain as I watched 'The Hills' transfixed by the vapidness of it all and the clothes. Ah, the clothes. The first bell sounded when Heidi moved out of Lauren's apartment to move in with Spencer. I thought, "Well, no good will come of this."

The following season it happened again. I watched with more alarm and a bit of foreboding as Heidi lost all her friends and was humiliated at work and in front of her co-workers (Vegas style). At the time I was angry at her boss for placing the blame on her and not her douche of a boyfriend, Spencer. He is clearly a boy, not a man, with whom she has no control or power over and yet she was the one being penalized. It wasn't right. Yet, I continued to watch. I'm not even going to go into how much therapy his sister, Stephanie, probably needs from a lifetime of dealing with his inexusable behavior.

This season though and particularly the last few episodes I've moved beyond that. I have decided to stop watching 'The Hills'- full stop. Watching Heidi's family being thrown by the wayside, the excuses, sadness and bits of fear that play across her face, never mind the intense all out anxiety each time Spencer enters a room, is beyond any acting this girl is capable of doing. Yes, this show is loosely scripted and "reality"-based but let's face facts here. Something else entirely is going on and Mtv is just putting some high-gloss shine on the giant pink elephant that resides in the room. That giant elephant is none other than emotional abuse.

While he may not be smacking her around (ooh the ratings, huh Mtv?!) he is getting paid to go beyond evil-super-tv-villian. We, the viewers, just all sit around watching this girl's self-esteem crumble too. She can do no right and is not capable of seeing her world in any way beyond what he is letting her see. This type of abuse, like others, warps your mind and makes you powerless to the abuser. For a while I tried to brush it all off and told myself I was being hyper-critical. It's just a tv show I thought. I told myself I was over-sensitive due to my own past. Then I realized I was not alone in my thinking (read this please- especially the final paragraphs). It's not just me and my past making me overly sensitive and possibly de-sensitized. I can no longer just sit and watch this all play out.

I'm angry about so many things in this situation and it is all beyond my control, including how no one over at Mtv is stepping in. Oh, wait is that the season finale, Mtv? Are you going to have LC swoop in and save the day and take Heidi away from all this mess? Or are you going to step in now and help this poor girl out? She clearly can't see her way out of a paper bag on her own so she does need someones help. What better timing than now, in October during National Domestic Violence Awareness month?

Until this situation ends, I'm banning 'The Hills' from my house. So long brilliant white teeth, long silences over nothing of consequence and hello, to one less thing taking up space in my DVR queue. That silence I hope will resonate with others who stop watching as well.

If You Don't Watch 'The Hills' Step Away From This Post

I admit to being an avid watcher of 'The Hills' which I like to refer to as a dramedy. I'll even cop to being disappointed about learning that Whitney only makes a mere $20K per episode and cackling like a banshee over comments on blogs about how Spencer Pratts salary of $65K is more than it would cost to put a hit out on him. Tee hee. I'm still snorting on that one.


However, I do draw the line here-

You know it's not the gold lame belt or the metallic-hued leotard that gets me. It's not even Ms. Montag's giant 1970s Western Barbie-esque hair (girls got to stick to her CO roots, I suppose.) it is the poor schmuck in the back. Yup. The one in the peach leotard and stache. Am I alone in thinking that is Jamie Kennedy hiding back there wondering where his career went horribly wrong? You thought it too, didn't you?

It's my latest and greatest over at DC Metro Moms. I'm snarking about fall fun.

Green Nail Polish is Not Cool for School

I'm going to visit another pre-school today, where I hope the words "intense", "competitive" and "schedule your child into therapy from the stress of this uber-expensive learning center" do not spill out of the administrators mouth.

I just want a tour and not to feel like I have to buy a time-share or something.

I think it is safe to say though that I should remove the yellow and blue makes green nail polish I slopped onto my fingernails on Sunday night in a fit of boredom. When your toddler calls you "silly" and so does the three year-old next door, it might be time to change the polish color. I'm probably being checked out just as much as my kid, if not more, while touring these bastions of tiny education.

Does this mean I have to be a room mother at some point? I only do cupcakes, people and I hear those are 'out'.

Now here, go make your head explode. Look at the ad too. Is it just me or is that the heiress herself in a few short sun-filled years?

Random Question # 145

Am I alone in thinking this is incredibly sad? It is an election year people! We are using our economic stimulus checks to pay speeding tickets (oh. just me?) and pay down credit card debt not buying Posh Tot or Urban Baby chic paraphernalia.

From News of the Weird-

America in Decline: One of the Internet's successful Web sites (10 million page views a month, with $500,000 in ads from companies including Verizon, McDonald's and General Motors) is a site that merely reports on what celebrities' babies are wearing, in that so many mothers are apparently obsessed with mimicking those clothing choices for their own tots. A May Wall Street Journal feature said sometimes the site's posting a photo of a celebrity baby incites a nationwide run on what it's wearing. [Wall Street Journal, 5-10-08]

Um... this let me say, is not just terribly scary but terrifically so. We are in some sort of (it's not a recession) decline and yet this is where we go to for comfort? Because I'm thinking that is what it has to be. Comfort. A yearning for the good ol' days when we had butt-loads of disposable income or something. Because really, I could care less what Coco Cox-Arquette or is it Arquette-Cox and Baby Madden are wearing this summer season. I'm more concerned with gas prices, an upcoming election, the housing market and the cost of groceries (practically a years worth of college tuition).

Weigh in on this one. I'd love to hear your thoughts Internets.

I am a bit concerned...

Nick Nolte mug shot

T.D. mug shot

Should I be worried? What next, she gets her big girl teeth and starts looking like Gary Busey?!

Harry Potter Thinks I Need to Clean My Tub

They say that with pregnancy comes cravings, the frequent need to pee and a host of other fun things that we have either forgotten about or never experienced. Do they ever mention the bizarre host of dreams though?

Since becoming 'with child' as H calls it I've -

Walked in on Harry Potter making acne medication/potions in my guest bathroom only to then hear him complain about the dirty state of my bathtub. My father then entered the room and said, "Eehh, it's not so bad. I've used it plenty. Relax, Harry!" Hmmph. Good enough for me and I told 'ol Potter there that if he didn't like the tub then he could just 'magic' it clean himself and left.

Had Michael Caine over for dinner. He wore a blue blazer, white shirt and a gold ascot. We had loads of fun and it was a fine evening had by all. I didn't even look at his teeth once!

Had numerous dreams about T.D. being kidnapped by anyone from some religeous sect (too much news watching that day) to little old ladies who look sweet but pack heat.

Most recently, there was the shark movie I was in. Uh, yeah. It was all Tron looking and at one point one of the actors, might have been Michael Caine, had his whole sharky face fall off and we just kept filming. I think that film might be up for an '08 Razzie award shortly.

Other than the T.D. nappin' nightmares there seems to be some sort of movie theme going on here. Maybe, I have been really needing a taste of Hollywood after all and it was a good thing E visited.

MPR is giving away a beautiful Provence inspired hand-printed tablecloth today! Visit the site to find out how to get your hands on one!