Random Question # 172-'Burb Life Edition

You know you live in Suburbia when you hear the following sentences uttered...

Have you been to the new Wegman's yet? It's amazing! You must go! (This is akin to having a new Trader Joe's/Whole Foods/World Market opening in your 'hood. The giveaways, the samples, it is enough to make a person faint over dead in free basting oil.)

I LOVE tea parties! Let's have a tea party!!! (This is not said by anyone in the age 3-6 set who has a tiny Disney princess tea set. No, it is said by a grown woman.)

I think we have a hook, er, working girl living on our street... (seriously. We might.)

Did anyone have someone knock on their door at almost 9 p.m. the other night? Me too!!! Who does that? (It was then blamed on a John who must have been in the 'burb to see the hooker.)

The inevitable talk of paving stones, community pools, parking violations and patio umbrellas will shortly ensue.

What sentences scream 'burb life to you? What do you hear in your neighborhood? And uh, does anyone else have a lady of the night working their block or is it just us? And to think, our street looks and acts like Pleasantville.



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Part of the Bush Abstinence Program?

There I was listening to my Saturday Snark, a.k.a. "Wait, wait, don't tell me..." on NPR when I hear them discussing Kmart's latest foray into fashion- Chastity Pants.



Immediately I had to go and look these puppies up. Was this some sort of joke? Nope. They are not and here is the proof- and bonus! They are already marked down!




While the whole needing a key to pry off some sort of metal belt is not an option (this is the millennium after all) I couldn't help but wonder what the sam hell the slogan was doing being splashed across the butt. I mean seriously! Is that really the way to proclaim your stance these days? It doesn't count unless it splayed across your tookas?

Is it any better than a shirt like this?

Random Question # 145

Am I alone in thinking this is incredibly sad? It is an election year people! We are using our economic stimulus checks to pay speeding tickets (oh. just me?) and pay down credit card debt not buying Posh Tot or Urban Baby chic paraphernalia.

From News of the Weird-

America in Decline: One of the Internet's successful Web sites (10 million page views a month, with $500,000 in ads from companies including Verizon, McDonald's and General Motors) is a site that merely reports on what celebrities' babies are wearing, in that so many mothers are apparently obsessed with mimicking those clothing choices for their own tots. A May Wall Street Journal feature said sometimes the site's posting a photo of a celebrity baby incites a nationwide run on what it's wearing. [Wall Street Journal, 5-10-08]

Um... this let me say, is not just terribly scary but terrifically so. We are in some sort of (it's not a recession) decline and yet this is where we go to for comfort? Because I'm thinking that is what it has to be. Comfort. A yearning for the good ol' days when we had butt-loads of disposable income or something. Because really, I could care less what Coco Cox-Arquette or is it Arquette-Cox and Baby Madden are wearing this summer season. I'm more concerned with gas prices, an upcoming election, the housing market and the cost of groceries (practically a years worth of college tuition).

Weigh in on this one. I'd love to hear your thoughts Internets.

Random Question # 113

While you can easily admit that you are obsessed with your iPod or MP3 player you know that what is on that little device also consists of some dirty little secrets. Go on, share. You know you want to. What dreadful songs do you rock out to or harmonize with when no one else is around?

If someone at the gym just grabbed your earbuds would you melt into the treadmill in shame because you were listening to something like, Vanilla Ice or Weird Al?

I'll confess to-

The Muppet Theme Song (shut up, it destresses me.)

I Gotta Man by Positive K

Freak Like Me, Adina Howard

Faded, by Soul Decision

The Power of Love, Huey Lewis & the News

Arthur's Theme, Christopher Cross


There are more, many more that are equally bad or even worse. H says, that it just demonstrates my lack of taste in music, but I think you get the idea.

Random Question #152

I didn't watch Rock of Love I or II (yes, I do know that Amber won out this round) and I'm no American Idol fan so I think it is all perfectly well and good that I may have a tad bit of an unhealthy love for this seasons series of the Bachelor.

OK, who am I kidding...

This season? Let's go with every season, except for the Pro-Bass fisher Byron one he just looked like a Ken doll left out in the sun too long.

And truthfully? I don't watch for the hottie bachelor. Because, ick. I find them quite unappealing, except for this season.

Here's the thing. I am addicted to this show. There is nothing I like more than waking up on Tuesday morning and queuing up the DVR to this inexplicably still on television show. Who did the Bachelor kick off? What disastrous moments occurred? Was there baby talk that will make me toss my Grape Nuts? Can I stomach another session in a hot tub?

It was with great glee that I watched all the only in fantasy world/paid for network television dates. Great glee and yes, a tad bit of shame. It is shameful that I like this show for so many reasons and yet I cannot break my gaze away from the overly tan, champagne swilling (and sometimes beer can biting) women who proclaim they are in 'true love' after one three minute conversation and then later calling him a douche bag. It boggles my mind when I hear them mention the l-word or marriage.


So what is it? What show is your secret shame?


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Random Question # 624

Do you dip? No, I don't mean tabaccy. Now that would be something. Mommybloggers who dip. Women trolling Target with those little circular indentations in their back pockets.

I digress...

Are you a dipper? Some people love to dip their food in things. I for one, will NOT dip my McD's french fries in anything. It taints them. I will however dip my grilled cheese in ketchup. Provided it is NOT made at home. Denny's, diners or any dining establishment that serves grilled cheese? It gets dipped. Home? No dip.


And if you are so inclined read this article and tell me what you think? Is Mommy prettier now?

Random Question #112

After quite a lengthy discussion last night on the following topic H asked that I pose this question-

What was your favorite hot lunch when you were in school?

Makes me wonder- Does anyone else's paper still print the weekly school lunch menu?

Discuss....