Where's Mummy?

While you all have been enjoying first snows, holiday extravaganza's and foods I've been puking them up with a bout of food poisoning. I said I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but I think I actually might, just for a much longer duration.  I'm sure H is quite done with emptying puke receptacles and applying cold compresses to my neck as I yell, "H! MAKE IT END!" over and over again.  One good thing as Lattes and Life pointed out, I'm down a few more baby weight pounds.  Now that is a happy holiday gift to me!  A few more weeks of shredding and I should be pre-Fifth Element weight. 

In other news, and on healthier days, I am here-

TheFind has the amazing Dolce & Gabbana Lip Jewel Compact. I heart this thing so bad. 

MPR has The Koobli for messy situations. 

The RE9 Advanced Cellular Renewal Masque from Arbonne.

Avent's Top Ten Tips for Babies with Colic

Enjoy your last weekend of Christmas rush and take some time to sit back and enjoy the upcoming winter solstice and all this season really has to offer.   

Giving It Up For Holiday Sanity

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms.  Original post date December 11, 2007.

Each year I make a promise to myself and to my family that I won't over do it. I won't over book us in holiday get togethers, parties and more. There will be more peaceful moments at home and enjoying each others company and less harried messes, traffic and season excesses. Each year I fail. I fail miserably. Last year I failed so badly it resulted in a teary exodus by my parents and them claiming they never wanted to stay at our house again. If that is not failure right there I don't know what is. It's also a damn fine wake up call.


This year the invitations rolled in and faster than I could imagine we were booked from just before Halloween through to the new year. Before the holiday season was even fully upon us one look at our calendar had us all stressing out. I knew then that I needed to do something. So instead of going to the Corcoran Gallery this weekend with my friends to see that amazing Annie Leibovitz exhibit I bowed out. I gave it up. I gave up that afternoon of freedom with the girls to reduce the frenzy. I'm giving up Girls Night this week too. It's just one more event that adds to the crazy. I've said no to any and all new invitations that have come our way since Thanksgiving. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. OK, missing out on the White House tour was a bit difficult to drop but we did it. I've grouped as much family time together as I can too, well as much as I can without food fights and plain ol' family feuds.

The holidays are a time when we naturally find ourselves reflecting on the past year. We remember the good times with friends and family and how much we have to be grateful for. When I started looking back on this past year I wasn't too thrilled with what I could recall. The fights with my mother over how to clean a pan properly had more to do with being overworked and overcrowded than anything else. The screaming match at 5 a.m. with my spouse regarding an overtired baby? Too many nights out with the kid in tow as we went from house to house and party to party. The late night talks with my Dad about how everything seemed to be falling apart in our lives was not how envisioned my last few days of 2006. I wanted to so much more than that and in trying to wring out every ounce of fun and holiday goodness all I accomplished was running myself and my family ragged.

To everyone's delight this year we have stuck to our guns. We have only attended one holiday party. Our times with family have truly been relaxing thus far and I'm not running around barking orders and crying in the bathroom as I sneak yet another glass of wine. I don't need to. In giving up much of what the holidays entail I've dropped the Grinch act that I sometimes put on and have come to realize that my heart has grown three sizes bigger by sitting back and letting the season just happen. I'm even excited about visiting Santa rather than just checking it off the list. No longer orchestrating every move and carting us off to a string of events has been the best thing I could have done! Sure it's a little less exciting but I'm also not quietly seething while I bake three dozen sugar cookies that no one wants to eat anyway.

I feel like I'm on to something here and that I'm no longer participating in what seemed to be an endless waltz that I desperately wanted to bow out of. So how about it? Who is game? What can you give up this year to make the season actually brighter? Because quite frankly I wasn't even having fun complaining about the holidays anymore either.



ShareThis

Posted by Victoria Mason on December 11, 2007 at 05:00 AM in Victoria
Permalink



Technorati Tags: anxiety, christmas, family, friends, holidays, stress, the mummy chronicles

TrackBack

TrackBack URL for this entry:

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451bae269e200e54f9e592e8833



Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Giving It Up for Holiday Sanity:

Comments




Jessica @ A Bushel and a Peck said...


I agree--I made a rule that we had to keep one weekend day open for all of December. No more double- and triple-booking for parties and get togethers. And this holiday season has been SO much more fun and relaxing. I will NEVER again be the crazy lady with 25 parties to attend in November and December, stressed out and stressing out my family in the process. Relaxed holidays are my new favorite thing.


Reply December 11, 2007 at 06:28 AM Tamara said...


I think you are doing a great thing. I know people who feel an obligation to say yes to every invite and they are always so frazzled (and their kids are always so cranky!) It is all over the place now about not overscheduling our children, but who are their best teachers? We are! So good job teaching your kids what is really most important.

The December 1st Countdown

Cross-posted and archived from DC Metro Moms. Original post date November 26, 2007. 

Growing up white candles dotted each window in our home on Thanksgiving day. When guests would leave we would turn them on and it was officially the Christmas season in our house. That weekend we would all head out to the tree farm and pick out the perfect tree. We would spend hours decorating it and putting up more lights outside. Our house quickly converted into a winter wonderland that wouldn't come down until after January 1. I loved every minute of it and it created beautiful memories for me as a child and an adult.


Now an old married woman I realize I have married the Grinch. How I failed to realize this I do not know. Each year the rules get more stringent than the last. First, it was simply that we didn't put up a tree or decorations until December 1st. This remains the number one rule to this day. This rule is unbreakable. Read that. Un-break-able. It is the Christmas season that brings out the dictator in my spouse. When my mother innocently asked him what he might want for Christmas a few weeks back he shouted, "It's not even Thanksgiving! I will NOT discuss this! Speak to me after December 1st." Er. Um. Yes, sir?

Nothing sets him on fire more than Christmas. He willingly admits that he is a complete and total Scrooge. When asked why, he spouts off a list that includes, materialism, hyper-consumerism, and greed. Fine. I can see that but not in our house. Each year I try to make the season bright. I fill it with love, baked goods, family, spiritual and fun holiday activities. I really work at making that tiny black heart beat red. Each year I feel that I fail. He only sees what he wants to see and that isn't what makes the feeling last all year, but the negative media frenzied mess that is played out live on CNN or FOX News each day. He only sees the sale flyer's coming through the door blanketed in red. He grouses about the lights and that no amount of Christmas cheer shall enter our house until after December 1st. We are not even to utter a Christmas wish, bake a thing, or even think Christmas thoughts.

What ends up happening is a total overdrive on my part. I overcompensate and my Christmas fervor goes nuts all the way until December 1st. And all in secret. Then I become Grinch like as well. I get so sick of the attitude from him that I just give in. Sure we decorate a tree but we don't sit and stare at the beauty of it. We just gloss over the whole season letting his decree be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Now that we have a child I want her to feel immersed in the season and the traditions and not be tainted with the negative all consuming parts of it. I choose not to dwell on that commercialized part. This year I decided to cut back considerably. I have barely uttered a peep about the iron-clad law of December 1st and my wish to break it. I simply stated that this coming weekend I would like to get a tree. Maybe if I just quietly set up the season without him, despite how sad that makes me, it will have an effect. He won't notice the wreath on the door or the advent calendar on the fridge. Maybe, just maybe, our tiny toddler will be our own Cindy Loo Who and make our Grinch smile.

Comments







J. Fergie said...


lmao!! ok, your husband and mine must be friends. i generally just ignore him and go about spreading holiday cheer all by myself. now that the kids are old enough to get excited, it's even better. maybe one day our hubbies will get in the spirit. heck -- even the Grinch loved Christmas by the end of the movie ;)


Reply November 26, 2007 at 02:37 PM Vicky said...


It may also be due to the fact that the man has an entirely unatural albeit hilarious fear of Nutcrackers. "Jaws should not drop like that!" He says and cowers.


Reply November 26, 2007 at 03:07 PM Living By Learning said...


I used to love Christmas cheer, but I'm starting to think like the Grinch. There is something unnatural about sleigh bells ringing in October. That said, doesn't your husband know that the law of the land dictates that holiday lights go up Thanksgiving weekend?


Reply November 26, 2007 at 06:55 PM Jean said...


Even though it's more "correct" to say that Thanksgiving is your favorite holiday, Christmas is my favorite. But even I won't put up a tree until mid-December. We do start advent calendars at the beginning of December and I start getting gifts together early too. But the day after Christmas, I'm DONE. My tree comes down the morning of December 26th.


Thankfully, my husband, a little grinchy himself, lets himself get caught up once the kids and I get excited.

Veterans Day

On February 15, 2003 I dropped H off in a parking lot. I fiddled with the necklace he had given me for Christmas only a few months before as I tried to figure out what to say to him. He stood before me, we hugged and kissed one last time and he said, "OK, so I will see you....whenever..." He smiled and I smiled but they were worried, nervous smiles. We knew that we had no idea when or if he would ever come home. Our future was a giant question mark.

Over the next six months I lived on a separate plane of existence. War was declared. Letters trickled in out of order. I lived for a dusty envelope to arrive in my mailbox. Flowers arrived for my birthday through H's best friend. I chuckle now that the florist sent yellow roses tied with a red, white and blue flag ribbon. At the time I was not amused. It felt ominous, not cheery.

When H was on the news one morning I called in a favor and got the tape. I had copies made for the entire family. The local recording company dropped them off personally saying, "We made you extras, we just wanted you to know how thankful we are for his service." When I forgot to start H's car for the duration of his absence the mechanic fixed all $800 worth of the problems for nothing. He simply said, "No charge ma'am. Tell your husband 'thank you'." The swamp cooler (that's the a/c for you non-desert folk) repair man came out of retirement because his son was too busy, did a rush job over a holiday weekend and made our house nice and cool because H might be coming home that weekend. It would be two more months before he felt that damp swamp cooler breeze.

When he finally did arrive, at 3 a.m., on a dark, black summer morning it was a huge relief. My office out in town had hung a giant banner welcoming him home. Our small town was so happy to see him and all the other troops on home soil. For now we wouldn't think about the future. Only that very moment.

It's not always such a warm welcome that has greeted our troops. My father received nothing of the sort. His sea bag of clothes was stolen when he arrived home. As a Vietnam Vet in the 1970's he couldn't find work simply because he served his country. So many of those men are lost soldiers even now that they are home and have been here for years.

On this Veterans Day we honor and thank them all. No matter what. Happy Veterans Day to all those who serve then and now. We thank you.


H & me at a family wedding in 2005.

My father when TD was born.

A Letter to My Mother

Dear Mom,

I suppose, it being Mother’s Day and all, I could have bought you a nice flowery, probably pink card from Hallmark or American Greetings and that would have sufficed. Except that while those cards all say wonderful and true things sometimes only a letter will do. So here you go- a nice sappy, heartfelt THANK YOU, just for you this Mother’s Day.

Thank you for all that you have done for me this year whether it was coming to take care of me in my time of need, when life got too crazy and I simply needed my mother or when a beautiful deck just needed to be built. My yard is forever changed and it just goes to show that you do in fact, always need your Mom no matter how old you are.

Thank you for teaching me grace and manners. In this world today, they sometimes seem antiquated or quaint but they are in fact, invaluable. Because of you, I do not lick my fingers. I know where a napkin goes at all times and I can walk with my head held high safe in the knowledge that I know how to write a proper thank you note and so much more.

Thank you for being a role model all throughout my life. While we may not always agree or take on life’s challenges in quite the same way your guidance, advice and mentoring has enabled me to pick myself up and find my own inner strengths. Through your words, hugs and more I know my talents as well as how to trust and follow my instincts.

Thank you for the friendship that has endured and only become stronger as I have grown from a child to a woman and a mother. You are always there in the good times and the bad, you rarely judge and when you do it is because frankly, I am probably making it hard not to. You are one of the best people I know to talk to and it is why I still cherish our weekly phone calls after all these years.

Thank you for showing me the first signs of love, how to love, to let go and what being a good partner and friend really means. I love you and Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!!!

Love, Vicky

XXOO

For Mom, for you, for everyone!

I'm teaming up with SanDisk this Mother's Day to offer you one great prize- The Cruzer Gator. This is one sweet flash drive too. The Cruzer Gator is stylish with its mock alligator design and cuts a unique profile in a purse, briefcase or wherever you want to store it. It looks good just sitting on your desk too. It is definitely not your standard corporate flash drive. It's 8GB! So you can upload and store not just documents but a whole slew of photos to share with friends and family for a long time.

So what's the catch?

It's simple really. Just send in your favorite photo of you and your mother (or mother figure) from any time, it doesn't have to be from a Mother's Day past. It can be sweet, touching, wacky or fun. Let us know why you love it too in just a few words. Don't have a photo of you and your mother you want to use? Then send a photo of you and your kids together that you particularly love. The same criteria applies.

There are many chances to win this great Mother's Day prize and I'll be posting up the winning photos on Friday, May 9.


Send all photos to veamason AT gmail DOT com.



Now to get you started is a favorite photo of my own. This is my mother holding a two week old TD for the first time. They kind of look alike don't they?

Happy Earth Day to You & Yours!

Yes, it is Earth Day. I think when I was in high school I wore some giant t-shirt with a globe on it to commemorate the day and that was that. Now that anything green seems to have become Eco-chic we are inundated with ideas on how to go green. It's a bit overwhelming isn't it?

In our house we try to be good stewards of the earth. There is talk of a vegetable garden if we can get our collective butts in gear this spring. We recycle all we can. We reuse goods and try not to buy new if we can find an alternative. In the past year we've implemented a few other changes too.


We got rid of paper napkins. It was easier than I thought it would be. I bought two twelve packs at Bed, Bath & Beyond and voila! No more paper! My mother said, "Oh! You don't have to use cloth napkins just because I'm here.." I quickly set her straight. Here is another alternative.

T.D. has the most sensitive skin and I clearly do too. We have done away with a lot of harsh and synthetic products in our house this year. Even our guest bathroom got a green makeover. We've noticed a real difference in how we look and feel.


We've discovered the joys of simplicity and less waste in all of this and it has made an impact on our family as a whole. We seem to appreciate more and think things through instead of going on impulse so much. By doing the three R's we are learning day by day and seeing a difference in our lives for the better.

It's not hard to implement and you don't have to overhaul your life. It takes a bit of practice but it's fun to green your world. Now I'm off my recycled soap box and I ask you-

What do you do in your house that helps Mother Earth?

Mother Announces that Snowy Errands with Toddler Do Not Rock

Since I have a case of W.B. I decided to forgo the whole writing thing for a day and instead focus on the beautiful snow falling outside. I wanted to bake and finish a long overdue library book. But before I could do any baking or relaxing I had to head to the store and get some supplies.

First up was a trip to Kmart. After a long arduous search for the gold tinsel that we must have for our tree, I was told Kmart was the place for all things Christmas. The drive across town was quick but, then I missed the entrance to the store and narrowly missed getting on 95. Already a parking lot because hey! It’s DC and we have had two snowflakes fall in the last four hours. Heavens to Mercatroid! Snow! We must all drive like idiots because two flakes have fallen! Still it was to Kmart we must go. H needs his gold tinsel on the tree. I swear he hurls it on the tree with the same effect that a cat does when it coughs up a hairball, but he loves it and I love him, so I had to find some gold, not silver, tinsel.

Ah, Kmart, a place I never go. It's a sad little run down store. The sales people though were abundant and willing to help me find my gold tinsel. Once they stopped being smarty-pants about things at least. I think that fact that I was walking around mouth open, eyes glazed at all the decorations (you can have an entirely purple Martha Stewart Christmas thank you very much! Or pink!) might have helped me out. I had to steer the smirking sales guy away from garland hanging behind my head. Then the gold beads in strands. NO! Tinsel! The strands of shiny metallic, well I don’t know, plastic? Some non-enviro-friendly product I’m sure. Do you have it? I NEED it! Indeed they did and I bought the whole supply. Just in case you know an apocalypse occurs and we need to repopulate the world with gold tinsel and such.

I then aimlessly wandered around the store for a bit picking up forgotten items for the house until I realized something. T.D. was missing a shoe. Or rather a very expensive Umi boot that I’m reviewing. These shoes are fantastic! They are also expensive. This was now a dire situation. We had been all over the entire store! Now we had to backtrack and look under racks? I began to sweat and tried to curb the cursing as T.D. said over and over , “Oh no! Shoe!!!” Yeah, kid, Oh no. Shoe. I enlisted the help of a salesperson but couldn’t find the shoe. I began to give up hope as I retraced our steps and went down aisle after aisle again. Back through the holiday decorations, back through Martha Stewart land, and back through the toys. Finally, after giving up all hope completely I spied a little lime green circle (the trademark to the Umi sole) under a rack of men’s flannel shoes. Exactly the spot we were in when we noticed the shoe was gone. How did I miss it?! Relieved we checked out quickly and left the store. T.D. was beginning to twitch and growl in the cart.

Outside, the snow was coming down harder now. I struggled to wrangle her into her car seat without doing a parking lot flip out. I was so close to losing it all together after the fourth attempt to get her wiggly yet boneless body back into the car seat. Mommy says, this is NOT a game pumpkin, I said through gritted teeth. No fear though, no child was harmed in this process. Despite my wanting at one point to just go white trash nuts on her in the snowy parking lot. Snow muffles screams right?

Ever a glutton for punishment I plied her with snacks and pressed onward! We fought some more at the bank drive up window and then again as I wrestled her into the stroller to head to another store. Why did I think this was a good idea? Done with the errands we headed home. I sighed a sigh of relief and with renewed optimism we pulled into our driveway. I let T.D. out of the car seat and tried to get her to climb out of the car. She became like fruitcake in December. Positively unmovable. The snow was mesmerizing her. I tried to play along but after ten minutes of standing in the snow, with snow blowing into the car and a bit of a frozen behind, I had had enough. I dragged her out of the car and onto the sidewalk. She just stood there. I placed her at the front door and tried to nudge her inside. Nothing doing. I shut the front door on her then and said, “Fine. Don’t come inside. Just watch the snow from the steps. Fine. The rest of us will be warm inside.” Twenty seconds later I opened the door and she was still standing there mesmerized. I scooped her up and brought her inside.

11 a.m. and I felt done. I called it a day. When is nap-time again?

UPDATE- As I type this the reams of gold tinsel sit on the table mocking me. They are not on the tree? No. They. Are. Not. Am I bitter because I braved the elements (or as H put it, subjected our child to abuse by taking her out in such treacherous weather/a.k.a two flakes on the ground while our neighbors sit safely in their bomb shelters eating 10 year old canned corn)and a rather cantankerous toddler to get this gold tinsel? Maybe just a little.

A Case of the Spins and NO I'm Not Pregnant

So much and yet almost nothing went on this past holiday/birthday weekend. We headed south late Thursday in an uneventful fashion and hit my MiL's. The weather could not have been better for a relaxing weekend by the water. Relaxing to extreme itchy boredom for some. That some being me. Let's just say that by Saturday, my actual birthday, I had just about enough laying around. I was slowly losing my mind.

SEQUENCE OF EVENTS

10 p.m.- Arrive. Unpack. Hit bed. Aaah.

FRIDAY- Finish book by pool. Start second book (Yeah! New Jen Lancaster!) Eat a total of 6 pancakes, 2 homemade sausage patties, lots of Doritos, soda, a brownie sundae, popcorn, and various other unhealthy items but oh so yummy. Some fruit might have snuck in there but probably covered with either cheese or chocolate.

SATURDAY- My birthday. Hurrah! Am 31. Joy. Hmm... Eat eggs Benedict. Oof. Try to go for run, but find I am almost too stuffed with carbs and candy that I can barely trot. Feel heavy. Convince H to not take a third nap and drive into quaint country town for lunch. Eat cheesy panini and peruse homemade ice cream. Have now consumed about 4-5 cups of coffee. Remember that later.

Head back to MiL's for more supine positions and reading. I am plowing through 'Bright Lights, Big Ass.' H decides to not opt for that 5th nap and wants to go for a boat ride. T.D. is put in life vest and we all trot down to the pier. I feel sick. The simple act of walking and standing on the pier is making me all spinny. When H asks me to climb aboard first to then take T.D. on board I almost puke with the thought of how unsteady I feel. Yuk. Although nice because I REALLY did NOT want to go on a boat ride. I'm feeling too lethargic to sit anywhere other than the couch. I might need to cram in a few pieces of cheese and salted items into my pie hole to make it back to the house safely.

Back inside I read and try to nap. I am finally napping (my first all weekend) and the phone rings. It rings more. And then again. I should break my "not my phone so I will not answer" rule. It's my MiL. She's no longer on the boat, but at a friends. Seems the boat has had engine trouble and they have been picked up by friends and brought there. Shall they risk driving home with no car seat for T.D. or should I drive to pick them up? I will pick them up. The directions to get to this place involve many twisty turns and hills on back roads. This thought alone makes me want to hurl all my cheese and chocolate imbibed products on the pretty tiled floor. Ick. MiL asks if I'm still woozy. Yes.

MiL- "Have you missed your period?" Tinkly laughter.

Me- "No!" I cringe. Nervous laughter. I'm really going to be ill now. She just said that in front of someone I don't even know. This brings our relationship to a whole new level. One I'm not quite into and ready for. Eek. I gurgle and groan that I am fine. I will pick them up. Sigh.

I cram some chicken, cheese and assorted fatty products into my mouth hoping to feel better and grab a Coke. Just as I'm about to leave I see H heading back up the dock. Joy! My MiL's husband opts to pick them all up with a car seat. YEAH!

I head back to the den and the safety of the non-spinning couch. Really? What is wrong with me? It's my damn birthday!

Later I hear my MiL ask H if I'm possibly pregnant. I see his face as he is visibly uncomfortable when she poses the missed period question again. Ick. Just ick. I shuffle away to save myself from the rest of the conversation.

DINNER HOUR- Coconut cake, lots of food, and candles. I receive a laptop, a flight home with T.D. and my MiL, a vegetable peeler (H's idea of of a joke- a proper gift for the proper wifey!), and this


Ha Ha. Finish Jen Lancaster book. Good read! Love you Jen! Hurry up with book three!

SUNDAY- Head home. YEAH! Movies with H! Johnny Depp in Jack Sparrow glory. Or not. On the way to the movies H trips on the front steps and is mildly injured. At the mall pre-movie to buy shoes an extremely molasses in January is quicker older woman weaves around in front of us tripping up H and causing me to step on his foot. He groans in pain. Does funny little pain dance and curses at me and well, everything. Fists clenched he heads off to buy shoes. He's limping. By dinner his ankles is swelling. I make a Target run for instant cold packs and pain reliever. We hit the theatre. It doesn't last. H is in agony. His drawn white face and painful movements have us asking for a refund on our tickets. A night of swashbuckling is not to be. At least we don't have to sit next to the teens in pirate garb.

MONDAY- Last day of holiday. H's ankle is much improved after icing and wrapping. We hit the movies. A day on the high seas in a darkened theatre is more my speed. I am non plussed with the film, but enjoy the outing all the same. We dine al fresco that night and relax. Aaah. A nice way to end the weekend.

LATER THAT NIGHT- H and I are in agony. A weekend of waffles, sausage, pancakes, cake, salted tasty treats, too much booze and soda, plus ice cream and whatever else we forced into our gaping holiday food imbibing mouths has taken a toll. We are hot and cold. Our stomachs in knots. Lack of exercise contributes. We lay awake moaning and breathing heavy and it's not in fun. I cannot wait for the weekend to end.

TUESDAY- Worked out. Drunk gallons of water. Fruit and veggies pack the house. We are back on track.

I am no longer spinny and I AM NOT PREGNANT.