Embarrassing Moments in Pregnancy

It's not embarrassing enough to pee in a tiny cup each time I go to the doctor or to even pee in a jug for 24-hours straight.  I just lurve lugging around a jug of my own urine.  And keeping it in my fridge.  Tasty.

No, pregnancy has many embarrassing moments.

Take yesterday when my bra just about combusted.  At least that is what it felt like as it flew open with great force. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice and I was able to get the "girls", which these days are more like full-grown women, under control.

Or how about all those lovely times I've peed myself when I'm not even aiming for a cup or jug.  I cough, sneeze or laugh too hard and there you have it.  It's to the point that when I do sneeze around H, he glances over nervously and does a pee check.  I love my life!  The worst had to be the time I threw up from pregnancy-induced nausea and I vomited easily into the toilet but also managed to completely piss myself in the process. In front of my kids.  I am a kick ass role model and potty trainer.

A few weeks ago my brain simply refused to figure out how to back out of a parking space.  I just could not figure out which way to best turn the wheel.  I got out of the car more than once to gauge angles. I adjusted mirrors and did some deep breathing. I even asked for "COMPLETE SILENCE! NOW! MOMMY IS THIIINNNKKKINNNGG!" in the car.  Then, I gave up and asked for help from TD's play date's grandfather who quickly and effortlessly backed the car out of the parking space.  Sigh.  I felt even more like my hair color in that moment than I had in quite some time. 

Did I mention that if I'm wearing any sort of scoop or v-neck ensemble I'll have a cornucopia of crumbs in my bra at the end of the day? It's all true.

I'm sure as I enter the third trimester there will be plenty more to come too.  Maybe we can have a picnic in my bra.  Wait, that just sounds wrong.

Confessions

1. I hide candy throughout the house. Not even my husband knows where it is. Sometimes I get up late at night and eat it. Just a piece. I'm no binger alright?!

2. I'm a terrible Back Eater, though I swear it gets harder to do by the day. Toddlers are clever and wily little sons of a guns.

3. I haven't cleaned my diaper bag in only God knows how long. That and I still carry that damn thing around despite T.D. being two. I can't downsize for the life of me and I want to. If some company wants to send me something cute and small that doesn't look like a diaper bag I'm all for it! And to think when I first had T.D. no matter how cute that d.b. was I still made others carry it because I was too embarrassed to be seen with a diaper bag at all.

4. I still think the deep end of a swimming pool is slightly ominous and scary.

5. The idea of adding another child to our lives sometimes makes me feel claustrophobic in terms of house and well, everything! I think we'll never find a sitter again. I know it's irrational but it paralyzes me with fear at random moments. I like my freedom too much.

6. I actually like going to the gym.

7. I secretly wonder if blogging is on its way out.

8. I've been drinking decaf coffee lately.

9. Some days I get a little Pinky and Brain. Yes, I admit it. I could be Brain.

10. I actually really like this song. That video is shameful. Yet, still. It's on the pod and in heavy rotation. The horror.

Not really a confession but Egads! I found this on my friend Steph's site. I couldn't even bring myself to watch the whole thing. I just bit my nails and cringed. This song better get out of my head fast!

Yo! I'm faded.....