Monday, June 07, 2010

Embarrassing Moments in Pregnancy

It's not embarrassing enough to pee in a tiny cup each time I go to the doctor or to even pee in a jug for 24-hours straight.  I just lurve lugging around a jug of my own urine.  And keeping it in my fridge.  Tasty.

No, pregnancy has many embarrassing moments.

Take yesterday when my bra just about combusted.  At least that is what it felt like as it flew open with great force. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice and I was able to get the "girls", which these days are more like full-grown women, under control.

Or how about all those lovely times I've peed myself when I'm not even aiming for a cup or jug.  I cough, sneeze or laugh too hard and there you have it.  It's to the point that when I do sneeze around H, he glances over nervously and does a pee check.  I love my life!  The worst had to be the time I threw up from pregnancy-induced nausea and I vomited easily into the toilet but also managed to completely piss myself in the process. In front of my kids.  I am a kick ass role model and potty trainer.

A few weeks ago my brain simply refused to figure out how to back out of a parking space.  I just could not figure out which way to best turn the wheel.  I got out of the car more than once to gauge angles. I adjusted mirrors and did some deep breathing. I even asked for "COMPLETE SILENCE! NOW! MOMMY IS THIIINNNKKKINNNGG!" in the car.  Then, I gave up and asked for help from TD's play date's grandfather who quickly and effortlessly backed the car out of the parking space.  Sigh.  I felt even more like my hair color in that moment than I had in quite some time. 

Did I mention that if I'm wearing any sort of scoop or v-neck ensemble I'll have a cornucopia of crumbs in my bra at the end of the day? It's all true.

I'm sure as I enter the third trimester there will be plenty more to come too.  Maybe we can have a picnic in my bra.  Wait, that just sounds wrong.


  1. I feel your pain. I've totally peed my pants while puking. I had awful thrid trimester morning sickness with my twins. That morning I couldn't even bend over the toilet I was so huge so I puked into the sink until I was dry heaving and I wet my pants. Then I called my OB to make sure my water hadn't broken. Yep pregnancy is lovely.

  2. Oh heavens. I fear for my next pregnancy {while hoping for it} My first one was filled with putting the remote in the freezer and leaving my cell at home while bringing the home phone with me. Not to mention the puking. Ugh. The puking.


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