Thursday, May 24, 2007

PSB - Are You Guilty too?

PSB, Parent Secret Behavior, not to be confused or limited to SSB (Secret Single Behavior) happens daily. It's everywhere you turn. The Mom who reads trashy novels in the closet or crawl space. The Dad who smokes behind the shed at night. We're all guilty of PSB.

My PSB? Ahem...I don't have a PSB. Really. OK, fine. It's Back Eating. Back Eating, a syndrome with symptoms of furtive eating with your back to the kids and sometimes spouse, usually in a corner or facing the kitchen counters. The child cannot see you eating. They think Mommy is just chopping vegetables or glancing at a cookbook. They will not glom on to you or expect you to share this food as they cannot even see you eating it. Back Eating. I love it. I probably do it everyday. Cookies? I'm Back Eating them. That extra slice of cheese T.D. thought I put in the fridge? Back Eaten. It's sneaky, risky at times, and wholly satisfying.

I wonder how long I can keep up my PSB before T.D. catches on. I wonder what H's PSB is? I haven't caught him at anything besides spending way longer than I thought possible going over his fantasy baseball league.

So what's your PSB? Give it up. You know you want to.


  1. Anonymous12:15 AM

    I have three kids, so I can no longer back eat. Sadly, its true. Now, I computer room eat. It goes like this:

    The kids are in bed, supposedly asleep. The computer room door is shut, and locked. The computer is on, with Aerosmith or Rammstein on the media player. I eat the chocolate/biscuits/whatever ... and, without fail, there is a knock on the door.

    "Muuuum ... what have you got?"


  2. Oh man...I love this post. I can't wait to hear what everyone's PSB's are. Mine are that I will take a drag or two off the huz's smoke at night after the kids go to bed. And secretly scarfing candy that my peanut allergic daughter can't have. And soda.

  3. this is hilarious!
    My PSB is stuffing. I stuff unfolded laundry out of site when someone is coming over. I have been known to stuff an unwashed skillet in the oven. Out of site= impressed guest...

  4. Unitl February I used to go smoke cigarettes in the garage.


    I miss my PSB.


Thanks for commenting! It's always good to hear from a reader and not say, a robot.