Monday, October 12, 2009

The Revolving Door

Lately it seems that things have been a bit off-kilter. If one of us is home the other is out. When another one returns a few others leave. Our home has become a revolving door the last few months and it has begun to take its toll.

It's been fun. All those nights out, trips away and time with friends and family. The girls have gone to cities, on trains and seen many sights. H has been loading up on frequent flier and hotel stay miles as well. It is exciting to return but our life has taken on a chaotic air. Each time we are apart it gets just a bit harder to reconnect with one another. Each night away creates a bit more distance in our hearts and it is not hard to see why all those Hollywood types hook up with their co-stars. Absence may make the heart grow fonder but not in every case. Sometimes it just creates a vacuum for the one left behind and drives a wedge where before there was a solid bond.

Fights begin. They don't get resolved and resentment settles in. You begin to keep score on all that you do and all that you perceive your partner as not doing. The placement of the crunchy peanut butter or cooking spray in the pantry can result in WWIII. Your revolving door of a life has you just going through the motions. Smiles are less frequent as are hugs. Added moments of affection dissipate into vapor. Your preschooler asks for more time with the sitter because the two of you are no fun to be around. If that is not a wake up call... well, it wasn't.

Is it the seven year itch even though you are in year eight or do you just need more time together? (Stop me before I sound too much like Carrie Bradshaw here.)

If I'm not around as much for a while it is because I'm busy converting my revolving door into the straight open and shut kind. I'm staying in more and going out less. We all are. It's not the recession but my relationship with my husband and my family. They are way more important than nights out and any future free hotel nights we could accrue from frequent flyer miles.

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