Mary Poppins Can Bite Me
It was a beautiful fall day. The sun was out, the air crisp. The crackle of new library books was all around. Sounds like bliss, right? I should have been beaming, right?
Except I wasn't. As I opened the kitchen windows to let in that gorgeous fall breeze all I could think was, "Today is one of those days I wish I was back in an office." I would rather deal with jackass project managers who can't think for themselves, defense contracts and engineers with yellow teeth and even more yellow fingernails than be in the house with my kids today. Or even out of the house with them.
My jaw hurt from gritting my teeth. My shoulders were hunched up to my ears and my upper back was burning from it all. I has missed my morning run due to a sick, teething baby and the whole house looked like a plastic baby doll hospital had been detonated. Picking up tiny cracker crumbs off my bathroom carpet (It's organic! I should be happy!) while dealing with exploding diapers, endless whiney-faces around me and the crying. Oh the non-stop, ear-bleeding, cheese-grater on my pulpy exposed nerves crying. It was doing me in. Thoughts of cigarettes danced across my brain.
I just wanted to find a dark shed to hide out in with a carton of Kreteks and a bottle of Grey Goose. Alone. Deep, abiding silence would be my only company.
When TD asked me to read a ridiculous looking books about Wild Boars while I was still trying to shovel leftovers into my piehole I probably cringed. I hefted her on my lap and read the thankfully quick, with giant print book. These boars were insatiable and as insatiable boars are want to do they baked a massive cookie. I looked at TD and thought about my week of detoxing and said, "Let's do that! Let's bake a "massive cookie" just like the boars." So we did.
Validation to feel the way I feel today... Thanks!
ReplyDeleteGood one. I wanted to cut out my ovaries after this one, and I don't even have them.
ReplyDeleteAfter today, I say screw detox and go on a drinking binge! And when you do, I'll come over so you won't have to drink alone. Hope tomorrow is better!
ReplyDeleteUhm. Yep. **hugs**
ReplyDelete