Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Back to Reality

How is it that in span of less than 60 seconds the phone can ring, I burn myself with hot wax (and sadly nothing even remotely kinky was going on), T.D. falls off the bed and manages to eat a nice mouthful of diaper cream? How? I guess it was just the universe's way of welcoming me back to reality. Whoo hoo!

It slushed here today which just makes me want to stay under the covers of my own bed even more. It was so nice to get into MY bed after a week away. I'm a weirdo about my bed and sheets so it's always the one thing I miss the most when traveling.

I have to say it was nice to be away and feel like me again. Not someone's Mom or wife. Just me. I shopped without time limits, ate whatever, got hit on a few times, and ingested far too much salt and sugar than should be allowed. I'm nice and bloated like a puffer fish from a week of sushi, wine, mexican prix fixe meals, cadbury candy, popcorn, soda, chocolate mousee, crepes avec trois aux cremes, no caffiene or little to speak of and a cigarette or two. There's more but my lips are puckering just thinking about it all. Airline food and airport food has been eliminated to avoid further grossing out of my readers. I guzzled water like mad all to no effect.

I also noticed while in Los Angeles and even in New Mexcio, it must be some sort of SouthWest thingy, that people out there are really into their colons. Yes, you heard me right, their colons. As in squeaky clean ones. It's not just the colonics and the fact that it's perfectly fine to chat up someone about their intestinal health, it is like a past-time out there. Talking about it, buying products to make it cleaner, what have you. It's almost fascinating. It's also precisely how I came to find out about this little gem. Colon Blow. Oh yeah, that's right. Go check that beauty of a site out. It is indeed for real. The testimonies, the pictures are legit. My friend's husband sports the t-shirt. It cracked me up for a good half hour or so. If you buy it and try it, let me know. I'm in awe of how into this stuff people get. It almost sizes up a majority of my trip but there's more later.


  1. That Colon Blow thing sounds truly amazing - I can't believe they were taking themselves seriously naming it that.

    I did phone surveys for the VA for a few months. I had to call up veterans and ask them about their current health. One of the questions had to do with their continence and digestive systems and not a single of of the people I ever asked was too embarrassed to answer. If anything, it was the one question that got them talking the most. I still don't understand why people are so fascinated with their junk removal process.

    Welcome home! Now come on - tell us, how many packs of Colon Blow have you taken already to recover from your overindulgence on the trip?

  2. I feel dumb - my husband just let me know the Colon Blow thing is based off an SNL skit. I'm a pop culture moron...


Thanks for commenting! It's always good to hear from a reader and not say, a robot.