The Sweaty Cowboy

Last week I saw down to a Mother's Day Tea at TD's school.  We had lemonade with heart-shaped ice cubes and pink paper bags full of popcorn that the children had made for us.  It was delightful.  After our snack we followed them to 'Music & Movement'.  Each week she participates in what can only be described as a yoga/dance/singsong frenzy.  The kids love it and it was fun participating even if I couldn't exactly get into a correct downward dog.  The staff spoke often about how the number of overweight children has almost doubled in the past twenty years.  This generation will not live as long as their parents because of fat-related illnesses.  In my state it is the sixth leading cause of death. 

We know the facts.  The First Lady is on a misson to eradicate this US epidemic.  What used to be a small issue isolated to one or two kids per grade has now become commonplace.  $3 billion a year is spent by fast-food companies marketing directly to kids. I don't like my kids wearing cartoon/TV show clothing because I don't want them to be walking advertisements.  I don't want them thinking that french fries and ketchup equal two servings of vegetables a day either. 

When I see these two items -

IHop's Stacked Pancakes. For breakfast, lunch and dinner. Oh, and dessert.  Maybe Fourth Meal too, perhaps? 

and of course KFC's Double Down.  Who doesn't want all that grease, fat and salt mainlined into their system all in one punch?

Um, me.  I don't, that's who.  It makes me mad every time I see things like this! I'm sick of companies thinking that they can just keep creating this shit, because that is what it is, shit. And they are passing it off as a meal let alone actual food.  Death on a plate or a greasy paper bag is more like it.  It doesn't help the countries problems today or its future. A slow, sickly death.  One bite at a time.

Now visit this site for some real cringe-worthy dishes.  My favorite is the Sweaty Cowboy right next to the Elvis Double Down. 

That is all.

I Will Not Be Winning Any Grill-Offs Any Time Soon

Do you smell that? It smells like something is burning.

Oh, right! It's my hair!

Last night I was making grilled chicken sandwiches for dinner and I did what I always do when I light the grill. Except this time a massive fireball erupted from it and suddenly I was yelling, "Oh! Oh! My hair is on fire!" No one seemed to notice. They were all playing inside with my mother.

I grabbed for my hair on the right side of my head and a handful of shriveled, charred hair bits fell off in a clump in my hand. Sick. Heart-breaking, actually. I've been trying for so long to go without highlighting or cutting it. Well, now it certainly needs to be cut but how I don't know. My four inch roots will have to stay. No one is going to highlight or lowlight broken, burnt crispies that used to be hair.

Later, as I was getting ready for girls night I realized that I also burnt off half my eyelashes on one eye, my right eyebrow and a good deal of the hair on my right wrist. The stench of burnt hair stayed with me all evening. When I asked H to "touch it! just touch it!" He said, "Um. It doesn't feel any different to me." Thanks, big guy.

Truthfully, it could have been so much worse. I didn't even get a hint of a red, burning blush to my skin. I could have charred half my face or arm. If I was wearing long sleeves it could have been an 911 nightmare. Also? Never light a grill that has had its lid closed. Yup. I did that. Lessons learned. I created that gas pocket all by myself and didn't even realize it. Now I get to walk around with my grilling dunce cap on for quite some time. Or at least until half my hair grows back out.