Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Tuesday Night Sleep Smackdown

I'm awake! I slept! OK. Not all night but like a lot of the night and man it's as if I've taken speed and mainlained an entire carafe of espresso mixed with Jolt cola. I can totally thank this awesome lady for it too. She's a life saver! The only snafu came around 3:30 a.m. when H decided he was going to stake claim on the whole bed, wife be damned.

3:31 a.m.-

Me: Whhaatt... uuhh... OW! (H's knee has just well, knee'd me.) I try to roll over and realize that he has pushed me all the way to the edge of the bed and I just catch myself as I start to fall overboard. I practically impale my left breast on the nightstand. Ouch.

H: Snuffling sounds.

Me: Damn it! I cannot reclaim my spot. WTF! H has just shoved a pillow in my face and I am slowly being suffocated. I wrench it away and sit up, glaring at him and breathing heavily through my now clear nasal passages.

H: Snores a bit albeit quietly.

Me: I shove him and he doesn't move. Even a smidgen or scootch of a millimeter. I hate losing sleep. I begin to panic as I sense the minutes slipping away knowing that the small one will wake just as I finally doze off again. It's been seven hours and she hasn't woken up yet. Time is precious. I begin to debate which would be more effective- shoving a pillow into H's snoring face or taking both my feet and using them to push him off the bed entirely. Just as a formulate a game plan he rolls even closer, if that is even possible and somehow manages to rip all the covers off me as well.

Me: I want to bludgeon him. I grab my pillow, smoosh it around and pull the blankets back with all my might. I get about four inches of duvet from H's iron-fisted craw. I wiggle around to get comfy again and begin to fall back asleep trying desperately to not compose blog posts in my head as I drift off to sleep....

4:24 a.m. - The sounds of a very awake Dash Two rouse me and I practically fall out of bed and stumble into the nursery.

4:42 a.m. - I am back in bed and reclaiming my spot with all my might. I will not be vanquished!

7:57 a.m.- The sweet smell of gummi vitamins (I do not believe for one second those things are 100% all natural.) and loud squishy chomping in my ear wakes me. Time to start the day.

Episode six of the Exposed Brick is out. Check it here.

1 comment:

  1. This morning, I woke up in a panic, thinking I had overslept. Turns out my alarm was going to go off in 5 minutes. So I decided to go back to sleep for those 5 minutes, and totally ended up laying down on the hubz's arm, right where he burned himself yesterday. D'oh.

    But in all fairness, he was waaaay over on my side of the bed.


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