Three Pairs of Pants. One Day.

I know, I know. You say, "Mummy, you are so cool! How can I be more like you?" Well, here it is folks. If you want to live like me then here is a tip from me to you. It's called, "How to wear three pairs of pants in one day."

1. Volunteer to watch your friends 10 month-old. When baby throws up on your leg, lift him off one leg only to realize that his diaper has leaked and he has peed on your other leg. Now with both legs covered in bodily fluids ask your two year-old to go get your khaki pants. Clean up as best you can while changing baby and putting on second pair of pants. Thank toddler/maid for actually knowing how to get your pants.

2. Later in the day, while wearing khaki pants, let morning/all day sickness overcome you and wretch so hard into the toilet that you pee yourself. Enough to need new pants. Sigh. Cry out of shame and embarrassment over this new incontinence and being in your early 30's. Clean up, change and try to get on with your day wearing black Capri pants. Capri's that don't fit because you aren't in maternity pants yet but can't quite fit into your old Capri's either. Cry over this a bit and move on.

And that my friends, is how you wear three pairs of pants in one day. Don't you wish you were hot like me?