The Lay-Off- A Month Done and Gone

So there it is. A full month has gone by since the day that H came home declaring himself no longer gainfully employed. So much has happened in the last few weeks and life has taken to flowing a whole new way.

For one thing, we all sleep later. It is as if we are all on summer vacation. Fancy that. Except we are missing that carefree feeling of running to the ice cream truck and lazing by the pool. While H has devised a schedule of job hunting as a full time job and completing long overdue tasks around the house, my work has suffered. While I try to keep TD occupied and out of Daddy's hair it is almost impossible to do unless some electronic box is used to placate her. This annoys H to no end. When it's just TD and me we work together. She plays at my side while I try and diligently work away at least for four minute spans of time or whatever she is gracious enough to give me. Add Daddy into the equation and the kid is a 24/7 Daddy seeking missile. While it is also true that I get to run errands sans child now, a luxury I savor each time I employ it, our days are different and have less structure than they did before.

H and I have had to learn to communicate on a whole new level what with being up in each other's pie holes each and every day. We feel closer as a family though, and I did not believe for one second all that hooey about quality time as a family that people commented on in my original lay-off post, I have found that this indeed is true. Our routine might be a bit changed. We have regained our sense of balance in this new life and found new ways to thrive as a family. It all makes me almost grateful. Grateful to know that despite freezing our gym memberships, eliminating our contributions to TD's college fund and all the other cutbacks we have dealt with, including health insurance hell, we have found the basis of who we are as a family with even more clarity than we had previously. Things happen for a reason and for us it seems we needed to concentrate on our little family, to see who we are as individuals again and welcome this new baby in a much more unhurried fashion. It's a bit beautiful and I never anticipated that.

Are you choking down your lunch now? Are you trying not to vomit from all the schmaltz? Yeah, me too. Yet it is all true.

I get the funny feeling though that when H does go back to work it will be as if summer has ended and fall has begun. It will be back to school time for everyone in the house.

Dude, It's Just Heavy

Focus.

Regroup.

Communicate.

All things that swirl around in my brain and that H and I need to do since his lay off last week. While it has only been a week in some ways it feels like a lifetime. The man is working his butt off on the job search and has come to the conclusion that he isn't sure if he wants to stay in his current field which leaves us to -

Focus, communicate and regroup.

We are going away this week for our planned vacation in sunny, beachy New England. While H feels incredibly guilty and embarrassed at the fact that he is taking a vacation while jobless this trip could not come at a better time. We'll be staying with my family so it's free and the grandparent childcare will give us the time we need to -

Regroup, communicate and focus

on what our next steps will be with our entire lives. Do we can the house flipping business for now? Does H stay in his current career? WTF is going on with mine and should I just cut myself some slack and take a bit of a breather? Enjoy the summer and this impending birth? Possibly so. I know that if I do that I need someone to tell me it is OK to do that. I can't seem to just make that decision myself without my Type-A persona kickin' my ass and telling me I'm a lazy so and so.

All this makes life incredibly heavy. Way heavy. The fact that no income is coming in makes life feel like a giant clock ticking away. The grains of sand in the hourglass are the days of our lives indeed. And insurance coverage.

As a couple we need to do the three things I keep discussing. Right now we are just not in sync with each other. Each one feeling that the other wants nothing to do with the other one. Each one feeling neglected and put upon. We are becoming scorekeepers and that is just not cool man. As H said, "It feels like too much effort right now." Isn't it that way in a relationship at various points? I believe so but that does not make it any easier when you are smack in the middle of that point in your relationship. I often think of Ronald Reagan's marriage advice, "A couple should be 50/50, but sometimes that is not possible and one partner will be doing 90 while the other 10. If a marriage is working both partners understand that inevitably that will flip flop and eventually right itself to 50/50 again." I'm para-phrasing but they didn't call that man the Great Communicator for nothing.

And Dash Two. My feelings about this new child have been a disaster of emotions from day one when I was excited beyond belief to the dismay and unbelievable hurt I've felt at the lack of excitement and downright disappointment this child has had in our extended family. Sorry, we don't make boys, but um... could you fake it perhaps? I already feel like a burden about having a kid while we are both not working. I don't need to feel that its not wanted. I want to be excited but its hard when I still get sick almost daily and am more tired than I've ever been in my life and feel that this child is an afterthought. To combat this, today I did what they say is such a faux-pas- I registered.

Yes, I know. No showers for second babies. Especially, if you have the same sex already. Bite me. This kid needs to be lauded and if making an online list helps me get excited and organized so that I can keep track of what we need, then so be it. While I can often be all about the etiquette there is also a time to break the rules. Now is that time.

Summer time and the livin's easy...I wish.

Ah, Reality!

While Atlanta and all it's pampering was fantastic and Graco could not have treated us better, it is good to be back home.

OK, so maybe the immediate dose of reality as soon as I landed in D.C. was not actually what I was looking for but still... Did I really need to be reminded of H's job search and unemployment frustrations as soon as I got to baggage claim? I'm already well aware of them. It is all I think about. Note to self: Do not call home immediately. Take the route that H does when traveling and just show up at the front door. Much more relaxing.

Also, when I plunked my bags down at the front door and Lex, the dog, shot out outside like a rocket? Yeah, that was a smack of reality right in the face. Especially when the town car driver narrowly missed running her over no less than two times. I had to run out the front door in my giant wedge-heeled shoes nearly breaking my neck on the front steps shouting, "WAIT! NO! STOP!!!", quite a few times before he did actually wait and come to a full stop. Meanwhile, Lex managed to narrowly miss his back tires as she sprinted across the street. Panting, breathless and fearful my maternity pants would end up at my knees I scooped her up and headed back inside thanking the driver for not inflicting a rather large vet bill on us at this particular time. Seriously. We won't have our own insurance soon we can't afford doggie insurance!

The reality of being home was much nicer when T.D., fresh from a bath, ran down the stairs shouting, "MOMMY!" while giggling and jumping up and down with her Nick Nolte hair all, well in place for the full Nick Nolte look.

So while I loved being pampered and treated like a rock star it is nice to be home. I'll fill you all in later with the details of my business with Graco. It was a blast!

I have to go clean up oatmeal off the floor, table, window and tackle the laundry monster. It's been sulking in the corner for a day or so. I think it missed me.

Competition for the Cruises?

The transformation was almost complete. Three inches had been lopped off my hair and the Gwyneth look was being ushered in. The bangs had indeed grown out. Just in time too because I'm headed to Atalanta this week for a work thang and wanted I my hair to look it's shiny best.

Then the unthinkable happened.

Fringe.

Just a bit. Um.. OK, that's fine I suppose until my stylist took out a large chunk by accident or what, I'm still confused. I screamed, "WHOA! WHOA! WHOOOAAAH! What are you doing?!?! WHAT just happened?!" She looked at me in horror and realized that she had gone and taken out too large of a chunk. She claimed she could fix it and I braced myself, white knuckled in the chair. I knew what was coming. Gone would be the cut I had taken a year to achieve. Ushered in would be the cut that I had painstainkingly grown out in the last year. The hair style I loathed the most. My BP escalated as I watched more fringe being cut in and my long hair now being reduced to just the back. Yick. I was left with what reminded me of the Florence Henderson 'do.

I would not cry.

Suddenly, it was clear. The only way to fix this mishap would be to just cut it all off. I would go from cutting off three inches to six. Oy. Not the look I was trying to achieve. There are a couple of reasons I'm uber-sensitive about my hair. Not only is it tough to grow out but my hair is like a talismn. When I was a gawky teen with longer hair I had some issues, shall we say? My hair was one way certain people exerted their control over me. I left the smallest state in the country to get away from this person and still with about eight states between us the problems continued. I promptly transferred to another university and spent the first week skipping around campus Julia Roberts-style a la Sleeping with the Enemy. It was then that I cut my hair. I turned myself into the platinum blonde cute (a term I loathe. I would rather be called a C. U. Next Tuesday) college coed.

In this new 'do I seemed sunny on the outside but the angry, man-hating and fearing girl who was never anything more than cute (think 5 year-olds, bunnies, fluffy clouds, giant lollipops and the color pink.) was roiling away in a dark, twisted mess on the inside. I wanted a WWF style smackdown cage fight with the world. I raged often breaking glass in my sorority house parking lot just for the release. I went to group and one -on-one therapy. It too me years to get over that earlier mess. I felt like I had been through a war. I worked so hard to emerge a woman who had no bitterness and hate. A woman with self-esteem. What transpired was a the person I am today with longer hair. Hair that I could put in a ponytail if I so chose and no one was going to tell me to take it out and cover my face and neck with it. Hair that suddenly removed me from the realm of cute and illicited compliments of 'beautiful, or heavens to mercatroid! 'hot' and even 'sexy'. I felt transformed.

Cutting my hair back into the short hair cut I realized does not just make me frustrated that now I actually have to style it each day vs. putting it up when I need to be out the door quickly or like the average suburban housewife, it feels like I just killed a part of me that was very vital. I don't see the woman I've become in the mirror right now. I see the girl who fought so hard to get away from so much pain and misery. I don't like that too much, it reminds me of too many hard times.

What can I say? As pathetic as this may all sound, because I know it is just hair and it will grow back, I guess I really am like Tony Manero, "I work really hard on my hair."

But Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise?



You have some competition.



Now if I can only get it to look that good each day...

These are the Days of Our Lives

I have been trying to formulate in my head how to begin this post and nothing comes to me. I wrote about it here at DC Metro Moms first and it felt like a great release. It's scary times people and who knows what will come next.



Then, today as I was looking for blog fodder. Anything to post beyond what is actually going on in our little world, I took a trip to Christina's blog and read this post. Well, if that doesn't just beat all. My roomie for BlogHer is going through the same thing! Only their news hit their little world one day sooner than ours. This country is a mess right now is it not? Is this our generations version of the Depression? I'm beginning to think so. Everyone I know is affected from a waiter and actress in L.A. to friends and family in New England.



Bear with me in the next few days, weeks and months as I try to make light of our situation and find the humor in it all. Because, hey! it is hilarious to not have insurance when you are pregnant right? It is super fun to be frugal I'm told and while we've been living that way for a while I think it might be a bit different now. I'll try not to be too morose.



Maybe I'll just talk about my new and yes, late obsession with The Wire and bombard you with tales of the 'hooker' on my block. Who really I think is not a hooker at all but just a girl renting a room with a red streak in her hair and heaven help her for not looking like the rest of us. Either that or you'll just have to listen to me wax poetic about making casseroles from a potato, magic shell and six Frito chips.





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The U.S. Economy is Kicking My Ass

The hours between 1:30 and 4 a.m. are when I can typically be found lying awake wondering about all the 'What if's'. The 'Woulda, Shoulda, Coulda's' too.

When I think back to when H & I made the decision for me to quit my corporate job and jump off that career path (um... wait, was that a career path? It felt sort of empty and meaningless to me. Drone-like actually) and into full-time Mommyhood and a fledgling writing career I was full of optimism. That optimism can still be found most days when I get an award, such as this one, or I am asked to do something fun like fly to Atlanta or head to some other city for work and I am actually paid to do that work that I love so much.

I remember how at the time, it was my job or our marriage. I stay home and try to write and make a bit of money or we were headed towards statisticville. The Big D. It was not an ultimatum, but a choice we both made and we were happy to do. Now, almost five months pregnant, with little work on the horizon and this sucky economy that leaves many jobs hanging in the balance, I wonder if I made the right choices.

The What If's Include:

What if I kept working? Would we have been able to stay married and sucked up our existence or are H & I really that into not being part of the whole system? We are dreamers, both of us. I see that now. Dreamers have a hard time just having a job and punching that ol' clock. It's like putting a square into a circle. We can do it, but usually it is with disastrous results.

What if we just sucked it up?

What if I shopped at the Dollar Store and threw away my beliefs for a while and sucked up the toxic $1 chemically-laden products they sell there?

What if when H tells me that I should spend the day doing something fun and adventuresome with T.D. rather than looking for work or trying to work I listened? It is awful hard to do that when the grocery and gas bill just keeps escalating.

I can't even go on, it isn't between the hours of 1-4 a.m. so my mind can't handle this with only a minor amount of caffeine.

I do know this though. The birth of T.D. somehow gave me the ability and confidence I had previously lacked to pursue my dream of becoming a writer. It was in looking at her that I wanted to have that passion realized and let it come to fruition. It was not something I could continue to squelch.

The 'what if's' no matter how ugly and nagging are going to have to be put aside. Too bad pregnant women can't take sleeping pills, the ones with continuous release.

Pregnancy Hormones or a Case of "That's Life"?

Next week we find out the gender of Dash Two and it could not come at a better time. OK, maybe today would have been good, but at this moment, it is needed.

I need to feel some sort of connection with this being who is for all intensive purposes the size of an apple. Sure, I have now heard the heartbeat, which puts me at ease, but I need to see it. To know that it is growing normally and all looks good. Once we know the gender we can assign a name and make it personal. I can plan and begin to get excited. Also known as soliciting companies to give my boy or girl new crap to review. Heh. I can no longer think of Dash Two as just the reason my breasts are now possibly a new wonder of the world or why my otherwise delectable coconut birthday cake makes me puke it up each time I attempted to eat it.

The second child is turning out to be vastly different from the first. I don't know if the world can handle two dictators in one house anyway. Can you imagine if Hitler and Mussolini had to be bunk mates at camp or share a trundle bed? Disaster. Pure and utter disaster. The pregnancy is different, the complaints are different and my enthusiasm level is wildly different. Almost wrong I feel because aside from the once a week blip of "Ooh another little 'us' in the house' moment, I'm feeling pretty ambivalent. H even remarked last night that he forgets that I'm pregnant.

Is it normal to just be a bit on the 'Meh' side with the second one? To just go through the motions? Or is it just the stress life has thrown at us lately? Paying more than one mortgageand dealing with a stagnant real estate market? Not so fun for the already sick pregnant lady. Your spouse talking about lay offs at work? Also, um... not so fun. In fact, it makes morning sickness downright festival like. Someone get me a stick for the pinata.

My midwife tells me to to learn to 'just be'. My friends tell me to take time for myself and go play. Sure thing ladies. Wish it were that simple but CPS frowns on leaving toddlers in cars while I sip a latte in the shade even if you crack a window, provide juice boxes and crayons. And what if you feel so stuck, so mired in the moment and what the future might hold that you are paralyzed by doubts and fears that even just being is hard. What if you don't know if it is just life and hormones or if you are actually full-on depressed?

I remember the suspect mole/cancer episode of last summer and think, "Pffttt... easy peasy folks. Cake walk." I'm trying to live in the moment. Enjoy these summer days and the last of our alone time with T.D. but life is coming at us in a way I don't know how to handle.

My big girl panties are chafing me but good.



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Three Pairs of Pants. One Day.

I know, I know. You say, "Mummy, you are so cool! How can I be more like you?" Well, here it is folks. If you want to live like me then here is a tip from me to you. It's called, "How to wear three pairs of pants in one day."

1. Volunteer to watch your friends 10 month-old. When baby throws up on your leg, lift him off one leg only to realize that his diaper has leaked and he has peed on your other leg. Now with both legs covered in bodily fluids ask your two year-old to go get your khaki pants. Clean up as best you can while changing baby and putting on second pair of pants. Thank toddler/maid for actually knowing how to get your pants.

2. Later in the day, while wearing khaki pants, let morning/all day sickness overcome you and wretch so hard into the toilet that you pee yourself. Enough to need new pants. Sigh. Cry out of shame and embarrassment over this new incontinence and being in your early 30's. Clean up, change and try to get on with your day wearing black Capri pants. Capri's that don't fit because you aren't in maternity pants yet but can't quite fit into your old Capri's either. Cry over this a bit and move on.

And that my friends, is how you wear three pairs of pants in one day. Don't you wish you were hot like me?

Marathon Monday

I can tell that today is going to be one of those days. Where it is barely 8 a.m. and I feel like I'm already running around in circles and wishing I could attach that old IV of caffeine to wheel around with me.

After an exhausting but fun weekend away visiting family we are all feeling a bit done. Well, all meaning the 'rents and not T.D. The kid took a four hour nap yesterday afternoon and was up bright and chipper at the wonderful hour of 6 a.m. My eyes would not budge open and my limbs felt dead to the world. As I lay there willing myself to get up and start the day I wonder- is it even worth throwing in the gym time when I feel like Mondays are a marathon anyway?

6:30 a.m.- Wake up Momma! Run upstairs and throw on gym clothes (yes, we have a loft bathroom which H loathes and I love.)

6:40 a.m.- Run down two flights of stairs and feed the dog and T.D. This requires me back tracking all over the kitchen as both dog and kid do loops around me as I put water and dog food in bowls, scoop yogurt into a dish, get milk and beg the coffeemaker to pour itself into a cup for me, pretty please?!

6:45 a.m.- Pour coffee. Leave it on counter as I run upstairs to fight the laundry monster. It has grown to epic proportions and I am beginning to wonder if the dog is wearing our clothes at night and sneaking them into the laundry. How can three people generate so much laundry?!

7:15 a.m.- Laundry sorted. Run down stairs with first load. Drop on living room floor to get T.D. more milk. Wipe up yogurt on T.D. and kitchen table and top of dogs head. Dog is relieved it no longer has to try and extend her tongue to the top of her head to get at said yogurt.

7:20 a.m.- Run downstairs to laundry room. Realize that while the washer is empty the dryer is not. Clothes from Friday, still damp, are sitting in there. Re-wash. Sigh. Throw other pile on floor and try to shut laundry room door without the laundry monster busting out and biting my ankles.

7:25 a.m.- Turn on desktop in office to print items I need for the day. Become scattered, leave office, stare at laundry, run upstairs to start a grocery list.

7:30 a.m.- See coffee. Gaze at it and become distracted by cries for more yogurt. Get yogurt for T.D. She screams at me that it is really cereal she wants. Pour cereal. Pour milk. She screams. No Milk. Want to claw my own eyes out.

7:40 a.m.- Run back downstairs to laundry room and rip out laundry in dryer. Will air dry. Must get laundry monster under control. Dash back upstairs after fiddling with desktop postal forms for ten minutes to no avail. International shipping requires a trek to the dreaded post office where I will feel I've lost a decade off my life. Small post office near me only takes cash and UPS is a total price raping for even the smallest package. Must head across town I realize to a 'real' post office.

7:55 a.m.- Sip coffee. Grocery list is completed with little gagging on my behalf as all food still seems totally unappetizing unless it is the following food groups- Popsicles, cream cheese and pasta.

8:20 a.m.- Run upstairs, strip bed. Growl at laundry in corner and run away as it growls back. Back downstairs I stare at emails about potential job inquiries that I need to take and yet I'm afraid of. I hate that about myself. I must grow a set and just take on some new projects. Realize Australian stroller company I want to review has no contact information on their site. WTF?!

9:03 a.m.- Throw dry cleaning, postal supplies, library books and all other needed errand related paraphernalia at the front door. Think about gym time. Realize I need it desperately but how on earth will I ever get anything done if I go?

9:11 a.m.- Get T.D. dressed. Throw on shoes. Load up the car. Pack snacks for me and the babe and head out the door with no game plan on where to go to next. Think about crawling back into bed and finishing latest Kinsella book.

If you see me out and about today around town. Just ignore me. I'm nice deep down inside and I really don't bite. I'm just running the Monday marathon.

New Experiences with a Toddler-#41

The annual exam at the OB-GYN.

That's right. I took T.D. with me yesterday never giving it a second thought that the last time she went was in her carrier at that lovely 6-week post-partum check-up. She was angelic and sweet. She was asleep.

This time?

We packed toys, books, toys that needed to be reviewed and lots of praying to the toddler good behavior gods. Please let her not touch anything icky, specimen-oriented or longer than the average-sized q-tip. Please.

We had a narrow miss in the bathroom when she discovered the fun little cabinet that people leave their urine samples in. Just as I was washing my hands I saw from the corner of my eye her little fingers opening the door and reaching in. "NO!", I yelled. I think the waiting room and the office next door to the OB-GYN heard me. Her fingers flinched back and almost tipped the cup of very yellow urine. That would have been fun to explain. And clean.

Next, we waited. And waited. Me in my salmon colored gown. T.D. on the blue chair, next to the brown door and near the pink wall. We did colors to pass the time. We looked at anatomically correct statues and I tried in vain to get her to play with her cellphone and MP-3 player. No dice. It was all let me get my hands on the K-Y and extra long q-tips please! When the doctor came in and I went up, in stirrups that is, T.D. was all eyes. The answer would be, no. No, I did not consider this most important aspect of the visit. Or a toddlers innate curiosity. Behind the sheet she went right along with the doc. Every once in a while she would peer out at me with wide eyes. It is still too early to know if I scarred her for life. She was fascinated and the doctor gave her a blow by blow of everything that was happening to Mommy at the time. She may be a doctor yet!

When it was all over? T.D. got a snack pack of Chex Mix and I was left with the co-pay and a wad of tissues.

What Would You Do With One Extra Day?

Today should be the last day of the month, but we are in a leap year. Think of tomorrow as our bonus day! For most of us it will be life as usual (wake up, wipe kiddie snot, work, wipe more snot, sleep, repeat), but think of this- If you could have one extra day to do something, anything- what would you do? Would you spend time with family and friends? Would you rather spend the time cleaning the house or tackling projects around your home?

Yahoo! polled over 2,000 people and found these results-

80% chose doing something fun like hanging out with family/friends, going on some wild excursion or shopping

63% said they might work, do some sort of organizing around the house or clean the garage

40% would do some online clean up, like cleaning their email box, their many online profiles or back up computer files


I spoke with Heather Cabot, the Web Life editor for Yahoo!, who is an expert on the Internet lifestyle. She is also the busy mother of twins and founder of the cool site The Well Mom to see if I could garner some tips on streamlining our lives on and offline. Through her I learned three easy tips to help manage my life on the web.





1. Bacon- Not the Oscar Meyer type either, but the email you opt in for when you subscribe to a newsletter or website. Remember that cute pair of shoes you bought online? You probably subscribed to the stores newsletter without even knowing it. Take ten minutes and unsubscribe to these newsletters as you get them in your inbox. If you are like me, Bacon stresses you out. You feel you have to read it but do not have the time and it clogs your inbox.

2. Social Networking- It can be a lot of work keeping up all those profiles, poking your friends and uploading pictures onto all those different networking sites. Re-evaluate why you are on these sites. Is it the networking for work or fun? Pick a professional one and a fun one and work from there. There is no need to be everywhere at once. Clean up your profile on these two sites and in the long run, you will save time.

3. Be mindful and opt out of things- Be selective of where you spend your time online each day and how much time you are actually online. It is all about balance.

Heather also suggested doing tasks like banking in one place. You can put all your credit cards, bank statements and more on one site these days. Check out safe websites like Wesabe and Mint that can show you where your money is going and how to budget efficiently.

Seeing that Heather is the founder of The Well Mom, a website where women can learn about obtaining and maintaining a healthy balance in life, I asked her for some tips in that area as well. You do not have to be a mother to heed her advice either. Heather talked about the importance in “remembering to be present in all you do, to be really there in the moment. Don’t multi-task and be mindful.” Take time for yourself each day whether it doing something decadent like spa time or simply taking a shower alone or reading a magazine. Whatever it is you need to be a calmer, nicer you, do it! She even has a great checklist on her site called ‘the well mom checklist’. Post it on your fridge ladies! If you are a new mom, please read this list. It is important to ask for help too, she says. Being assertive and pro-active is very important in life, but especially when you have children. You cannot do it alone so do not be afraid to admit that and seek help when needed. Lastly, do not take yourself too seriously. Do not worry about things so much. Easier said than done I know. However, it is advice well taken. I could not agree more.

I really enjoyed talking with Heather. She is down to earth, funny and not at all intimidating like I thought she might be. I got a bit freaked out when I found out she was a former ABC News anchor and correspondent. Like most women though, once we found some common ground you could not shut us up. Thanks Heather, it was a pleasure speaking with you!

For more information about Heather Cabot, you can visit her here and here.

What would you do with one extra day?

I think of Leonardo DiCaprio Everyday

Yes. It's true. I think of Mr. '11th Hour' daily. It's not like I'm some crazy stalker person. I'm not. Sure he's nice enough looking, but really it's not like that. It's simply this.

Back in 2005 I saw DiCaprio on Oprah (probably one of the last time's I actually sat and watched that show) and he was talking about living green. He explained that it's not a life over hauling thing. It doesn't have to be expensive or complicated. There are a million and one ways to go about your daily life living greener that actually do make an impact. The way we live has to change and it can be changed. I was riveted. I am all for bettering the planet but it does seem rather confusing sometimes doesn't it? Organic or not? Local vs. convenience of the grocery store. Hybrid car price vs. lower priced more polluting vehicle?

So I listened to Leo and decided from here on out I'm changing things. It was slow going at first. I unplug all the items in our house that don't need to run all day like the coffeemaker, radios, cell phone chargers, hair dryers, the list goes on. Even lamps. If it's not on it shouldn't be sucking energy. We changed out the light bulbs and have bought energy efficient appliances as the old ones died out. We stopped using plastic bags and bought the stores cloth ones. And you know what? It wasn't all in a day. It was over time. Each step I made had me feeling better and wanting to do more. Before I knew it we were shopping locally when possible. Buying earth/people friendly cleaners, using less water, less paper, eating less meat (very energy inefficient to produce it) and are driving less. If it's nice out I'd rather walk than spend the gas to go to the gym.

I even grow herbs now. Freaky isn't it? The change has been on-going and through it I'm more aware of my daily actions in life and how I treat myself and others. I'm reluctant to call myself some granola munching-tree hugging-do gooder who poo poos everyone else. That is NOT what I'm saying. I'm only re-emphasizing the idea that one small step, one little action has an impact. If we all pick a few things to help preserve this planet it will benefit us in so many more ways than we can imagine.

So each time I unplug my coffeemaker I think of Leo and those first few galvanizing thoughts he put in my head.

Some great sites for making those small changes-

Low Impact Living
Pristine Planet
target="_blank">Izzy Mom's Thoughts on Things and some Good Links
No Impact Man- One Man's Quest

And they say celebrity's can't endorse a cause. Heh.

One!

Awww, it's so cute, look at that sweet little one year old blog! I can hardly believe it myself. It's already been a year. In some ways, and this is so tired and predictable of me, it's felt bone gnawingly long and in other aspects it's raced by faster than a hamster on smack.

T.D. is one now as well and ever the dictator. She throws her hands up to show displeasure, delights in shrieking loudly, and now walks around with her chest puffed out and her hands behind her back, just like Hitler did to hide the shakes he had in his hands. Isn't that precious?

I looked back this morning at some old posts, had a few laughs, cringed at some moments, and realized that I did achieve my goal of staying at home, and also managed to keep up the blog, and start a new career. What a wild year it's been. Enjoy some excerpts from the past year! So much has changed including this blog.
We've got everything-
Going back to work,
Typical Mom Anxieties,
Bouts with PPD,
Poop,
the final straw, and
squishy feelings

Thanks for reading!