Wednesday, March 12, 2008

That Damn Dog

Indeed. The other night as I drifted off to sleep H toiled with the taxes, gathering evidence (heh), er I mean papers, in the room below me. I was alone in our room save for one other being. Our dog. That damn dog as I referred to her shortly.The dog would not rest it seemed without us both in the room. From her crate began a small whine. Then it got louder. Longer. She shuffled in her bed and cried. Couldn't she, this small helpless being also be in bed with me too? NO! I'll be sharing the bed with her enough in the next few weeks. She must have both of us in the room or she will not sleep. It's maddening!

The relentless whining went on until in a fury I whipped off the bed covers and banished her from our room.



Scratch, scratch


Now pissed off and exiled the dog tries to destroy our bedroom door. H is oblivious to this commotion. I rip off the covers once again and stalk over to the bedroom door my blood pressure rising as I fumble in the dark. I whip open the door and before that dog can even squirm her way back into the bedroom I push her further into the hallway yelling like a cave woman or a toddler take your pick, "NO! YOU GO! erekgh kableaklkeeh aaughhee TIRED!!!!"

Finally, around midnight everything settled down. H came to bed (an hour to do his taxes! Ha!) and the dog settled in her crate for the night easy peasy. I was so wound up though I could do nothing but think about my precious sleep time evaporating, did I in fact want to eat a snickers bar and what the hell was I going to blog about the next day.


I ignore the dog for much of the day which isn't too hard when she mainly sleeps in one dog bed or other throughout the house all day. Ah, the life of a dog. To look at her makes me incensed over the lack of sleep I've gotten. Sleep is my precious and I've gotten precious little of it lately.

On my way home from returning my crumb-free rental car (the collision place that repaired my car cleaned the inside and out making it crumb free for at least one day! THEY ROCK! Huzzah!!) my phone rings. It's H. It seems the dog has gone missing.

H: Hon? Where are you? On your way through the neighborhood could you drive around looking for Lex? She's gone. The front door blew open and I didn't know. She took off. T.D. and I have been out looking for her but we haven't seen her.

V: WHAT?! Sure.... (my stomach drops and my heart begins to beat fast. Lex is missing?! Oh! My poor schmoopie! Does she have her tags? Check. How long has she been gone? We don't know. Cue ominous music)

I immediately roll down my car windows and begin a slow crawl with the car. I yell out the windows calling Lex. I stop everyone I see and ask if they have seen a black and white Boston Terrier. I creep myself out when I realize I'm hanging out the car window asking some little kids if they have seen my lost puppy. "Excuse me little kids, I've lost my dog... could you help me find it?" I feel like I could be on an Oprah hidden camera. I tell the kids where I live and to bring the dog by if they see her.

As I drive/creep onto another street I see a flash of black! Could it be?! I hear a group of people say, "Oh she must be looking for that loose dog!" YES! I realize I'm nodding my head vigorously to no one as I speed down the dead end street. Another streak of black darts by. As I park the car I hear barking. Lo and behold, there is Lex. Her little spunky self barking away at two giant labs who only want to play tug of war with each other and not her shrimpy terrier butt.

I thank the owners who have had no idea she was missing and scoop her up saying, "Get your butt over her missy! We've been looking for you everywhere! We've missed you!!" I cover her in kisses and hugs and plop her into the car. It is then I see the mud.

My nice crumb fee car? It still is crumb free. It just has mud all over it now.

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