Friday, January 25, 2008

This Isn't a Restaurant Buddy

Don't you just love it when you try to put something on the table for dinner and your met with the yuck face?

For the last three nights I have prepared healthy meals, that we as a family chose, only to see a dissatisfied face looking at me from across the table. Food is pushed slowly around the plate and then tentatively tasted and tested. Faces are made that are usually only seen when confronted with something rotten or raw sewage. Utensils clank on dishes and sighs are uttered.

Then, a declaration is made. H is going out. So long family, I'm getting different food. That's right. It wasn't T.D. that was putting up the fuss but H. To say that I was mildly peeved would be an understatement. Seeing as part of my "job performance" now is getting dinner on the table I come to view this as a moment where I am not "exceeding expectations". I have failed in the duties within my job description. He leaves to find better fare and I am left insulted and hurt. He waves at the kitchen as he leaves saying, "Don't worry, I'll clean up when I get back." At that point I just up and left the table as well. T.D. toddled off to play with baby and I guzzled a beer that I almost sent flying across the kitchen in a rather childish angry moment.

When H arrived home I looked at his meal. Thai food. A personal fave of mine. Now if I wanted to I could have easily chucked making dinner that night. Or any night. I could have said, "We're eating out!", but I didn't. I'm trying to stick to the rule we established of eating out less. Being more conservative and less frivolous and impulsive with our money. I thought we were in it together. It appears the rule only applies only to me.

Seriously people I'm trying not to be mad about something that seems so small, but when a couple makes a decision I think they/we should stick with it. I can't help but feel that since I'm not bringing in the cash right now that this rule only applies to me and not to H. That Internets makes me angry and I feel it speaks volumes.

Am I wrong here? Am I being totally irrational? Simply put I feel like it was just plain rude.

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  1. I would completely agree with you on this. If he didn't like what you were serving, he couldn't have made himself a peanut butter sandwich? This is a week I've been thinking a lot about our budget for a whole variety of reasons, and there's no doubt that if Mom (or Dad) are staying home when both parents used to work, then sacrifices have to be made. (Unless the other spouse is Bill Gates). That's life. Sheesh.

  2. I don't think you were/are in the wrong. I think it was insensitive and inappropriate of H to leave and get another meal...and then have the nerve to bring it home. Furthermore, while you might not be bringing in the cash, you are serving a VERY important role in your family, and even if that role is unpaid, it should be valued. I could rant for quite some time on this topic-- based on my own experience even-- but I'll refrain.

    Hugs to you, and a death glare to H from me through the net.

  3. No, it's not small. You guys made a pact about your health and your finances and he's not keeping up his end. Does he give a reason? Some sort of input to help you figure out how to make the meal more appealing? By just up and leaving (and then coming home with some of your favorite food!) he's being rude.

    (However, guzzling beer isn't the healthiest way for you to deal with it... you're taking in all the calories you worked hard to avoid. But you probably know that.)

    I hate that "Oh, I'll clean up" routine. I get it from Mike sometimes, too, as if that makes up for hurt feelings. At least Mike dutifully clears his plate and then raids the cupboard for a peanut butter sandwich. I can live with that. Sometimes I do it too! Dinner's not going to be perfect every time. But getting up and leaving is inexcusable.

    Didn't he learn in the Marines to scarf down anything that's put in front of you? Mike did, and it comes in handy some times.

  4. SaraJo12:25 PM

    No, you're not being overly sensitive at all. I don't know that I would have been able to refrain from throwing that beer bottle. I guess that's one advantage to living in the boonies--no nearby restaurants to take 'refuge' in.

  5. I have to say that since I don't normally post about my relationship with H doing what I did today makes me nervous. I don't want to pick another fight. But I have to agree- this was rude and if it the shoe/plate was on the other foot/chef(?) then he would have thought it was rude too.

    All this being said I think I have to cancel the dinner plans I had on Sunday with a friend. I would be going back on my word too even if she is coming in from out of town.

  6. Why not invite your friend to dinner at your house and arrange for your husband to be in charge of the kids so you can visit? Just a thought.

  7. Don't cancel your plans w/ your out of town friend. He ate out, now it's your turn...course I'm no longer married, so you probably don't want to listen to me. LOL In all seriousness, I don't think you should be deprived of seing your out of town friend, find a compromise that's reasonable. And btw, what did you make? Cuz that would help me decide whether he was wrong or not. KIDDING. I'm kidding! He shouldn't have done that. I agree, he should have found something at home and then if he didn't like what you made, let you know that while he appreciates the effort, its probably not a recipe that you should revisit. But guys aren't very sensitive most of the time. Love you!!!

  8. Oh one more thing - he could be stuck on the diet my trainer just put me on (cuz I was cheating on the THE SAME THING EVERY DAY. It's only been 4 days and if I see another grilled chicken salad...actually, I lie, it's not that bad - and I have lost 3 pounds since Monday, so there's something to be said for it. The snacks can be changed - and hey, dinner is a lean cuising meal - maybe you should try that plan out. LOL That's nice and easy - and H can microwave his own dinner. ;) - Di

  9. I would have been very pissed off as well. I would have stormed off and left him to clean up the mess from the dinner. Sorry that happened.

  10. I, too, would have been hurt and upset....just due to his reaction. Then the leaving part, that would have probably made me cry. Don't cancel your dinner plans though. Going out to see an out-of-town friend is FAR different from turning your back on a meal your wife prepared for the family.

  11. I'm impressed the bottle of beer didn't end up nailing him upside the head (but then again that would have been alcohol abuse). That is a down right low and extrememly rude thing to do. I say go out with your friend and if H even tries to say something to you throw the whole dinner thing in his face. I've sat through many a dinner that was not tasty but ate it becasue someone took the time to make it for me. You are completely justified to be upset and H was completely out of line.


Thanks for commenting! It's always good to hear from a reader and not say, a robot.