Friday, July 27, 2007

Lucky Me

Thank God that you can't kick people off a plane mid-flight. If you could I'm sure the woman in seat 15F would have thrown up the side door and ousted T.D. and I somewhere over Jersey. Seeing as opening that door would have killed everyone else on board or at least sent them into a drooling mess with them crapping their own pants her only alternative was to suck it up. Along with everyone else including me.

Oh yes. I have THAT kid. The one who hates flying and screams during much of the flight. I should have known it was not going to be a barrel of fun when she woke up at 5:30 a.m. the day of the flight. Two hours before her normal time. She barreled around the gate making friends and flirting. She was just sooo charming. Who could resist such an imp? I was hoping that she would just keep it up or fall fast asleep in her spiffy airplane seat. Heh.

Silly Mummy. I was fooled by the take off as she chomped on raisins but soon into the flight all baby dolls, blankets, books and other kid paraphanalia literally tried to go out the window. Or on the floor. Then demanded once more. I pulled a shoulder muscle trying to pick up something off the tight spot on the floor. As I winced and my stomach burned from the stress and screams I thought, "only an hour, only an hour...and THIS SUCKS!" I'm eloquent. What can I say? When the woman in 15F reclined her seat so T.D. could have easier access in kicking her tray table I wanted to scream myself. The woman was now asking for it. The glares I got from her were on par with a pit viper. All I could think was, "Just try me lady, just try me. I've got ninja skills." It all came to a nice head as we descended into Lil'Rhody and T.D. began to scream and screech in blood curdling, blood pressure raising wails. I wanted to melt into my seat and tried everything I could to calm her. She was literally foaming at the mouth. She managed to remove all her straps and belts in the process.

At the end, I decided to wait until the plane was empty to deboard. I didn't to look anyone in the eye. I had THAT child on the flight. I am incredibly grateful to the Army General two rows in front who made a point at the end of the flight of saying T.D. was "precious" with a total lack of irony.

**Blogher starts today. I'm a bit sad I'm missing it. Next year I swear! As God as my witness, if I have to live through fifteen more T.D. filled flights, I will get to Blogher next year.


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