Thursday, September 07, 2006

A plot? A conspiracy?

Either way I'm not getting much sleep these days. Last night was night six in "Let's Prove that Sleep Deprivation Really is a Form of Toture." I swear there are hidden cameras in my house filming my manic decline from lack of sleep. Maybe it's just my lack of sleep paranoia though that makes me wonder about the cameras.

After putting T.D. down for the night around 8 p.m. I decided it would be a grand idea to put myself to bed. I would read a teeny, tiny bit (Augusten Burroughs, 'Magical Thinking') and then fall into a blissful deep sleep. Nice idea. Not what happened.

H came home and told me to go to bed. But, I stayed up watching a wee bit of Colbert until I really decided, "yeah, I do need sleep." Off I went. Alone. Keep that in mind. It was 8:40 p.m. Keep that in mind too. I read for a bit and turned off the light at 9:10 p.m. At 10 I was woken up by a burrowing dog. I fell back to sleep. At 10:30, the dog again. I crated her. At 11 p.m. the phone rang. I realized at this point that H was in bed too and he answered the phone. He returns to bed and shortly after (I think it was after, could have been before the phone) T.D. begins to wail. Sigh........ H gets up and tends to her.

Then the most bizarre thing happened. No, I did not sleep peacefully for the rest of the night. That would have been bizarre at this point. Something in our house went off. H and I still have no idea what it was but regardless the quiet night time air was suddenly pierced by a high-pitch screetch of a noise. It literally made us jump right out of bed breathless and turn on the lights. H groaned loudly as I began to quake. The sound was gone. As quickly as it started it stopped. Was it a phone? The house alarm? A smoke detector with a bad battery? We just don't know. I do know that our house alarm sounds more like a Teradactyl is flying over your head and this more like a loud series of wailing beeps. H cleared the house from top to bottom and peered around outside. No security lighting went on either and the alarm was still set. Truly strange. We checked the smoke detectors, all systems go. I even made H check behind the shower curtain. I was really freaked.

Meanwhile both T.D. and Lex were sound alseep. Softly snoring away in their beds. I just wanted to grab T.D. and hold her but it was best not to disturb the sleeping baby.

Finally after about 45 minutes of lights on, listening to every strange noise, H convinced me to turn of my nightstand light and go to sleep. I made him switch sides of the bed with me though- now he's closest to the door and any errant criminial that is lurking in our house.

I fell asleep around 1 a.m., waking on an off, my body stiff with tension. At 4:30 a.m. my alarm clock went off. Time to start the day. I remembered then what H said as we drifted off to sleep only a few short hours before, "It's not like someone is plotting against us you know."

Oh really? Because I'm beginning to wonder. I think the slumberland fairies are on strike in my house.

1 comment:

  1. Total military wife. You said, "cleared the house." many civilians have no idea what the hell you are talking about. LOL I'm kidding, it's obvious from the context...and the most concise way to say what you wanted, but it just cracked me up to read you using the phrase.

    :) I hope your slumberland "devil" leaves you alone tonight.


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