Thursday, June 22, 2006

Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle of... EVERYTHING!

It's day two off the meds. I decided to go CT (cold turkey) rather than wean myself. Actually, I just forgot to take them this morning. I swear this decision couldn't come at a better time. I find myself continuously yelling - SERENITY NOW!

Here's how the week is playing out. H. has been sick since last Friday and our schedule has remained busy. I had to leave work early to take T.D. to her four month check up and wouldn't you know all holy hell broke loose. It always does. It's usually due to the same person flying off whatever handle he has a small grasp on. So I get into work today and my office has been torn apart (thanks freak!) and then there's news of impending lay-offs next week. You want a summer vacation?! You've got a summer vacation! In the unemployment line! I'm just really getting sick of dealing with all this crap. My shit feels all apart. I can't concentrate very well. To top it all off I have a major case of PMS. What fun. All I want to do in times of stress is eat or self-medicate (so mature and healthy of me). So between my not being able to find time or energy to workout I have a migraine, exhaustion, and the need to eat about six Skor bars, four Venti latte's and a feedbag's worth of heavily buttered popcorn. Oh yeah it's that bad. I get home at night and what do I want besides the chain smoking and whining on my deck? I want wine or vodka. Wine or vodka? Hm.. I really can't decide. Let's have both! No, really I don't but it does cross my hallucinating, hamster on a wheel mind.

I just want to say that this all better calm down. I don't think it's the PPD but just life. Like that can really be controlled. But my hopes are that I'm still writing this to you all with health insurance for the meds I'll probably need again and a salary to keep the despot in the life she is used to.


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