Sigh.......

Yesterday, I flipped out over the whole weight gain zoloft thing. I did a lot of research on going off it and I won't be quitting cold turkey. H. thinks I should see my dr about it and he's probably right. My therapist will have a field day on my ass when I tell her what I'm doing. I just can't take another freakin' appt in my book or waiting. I'm done. So since the z goes out of the system pretty quick I'm going to half doses and then every other day and then nothing. I don't want anything else. If I feel like I'm needing something I'll go back to my doctor but for now the amount of side effects I have it's not worth it. Did I mention that uncontrollable anger is also one? See my previous posts and you might see a pattern. Along with lack of sex drive, nose bleeds, vivid dreams, the weight gain, teeth grinding and the whole anger issue why am I on this drug again? I would rather be crying than all those things.

So that is that. I don't want to hear a peep from the peanut gallery. I know you all care but this is just me. I have to do it this way. I'm stubborn I know.

On another note that is slightly more morbid H. and I are doing our wills. It's a necessary evil as an adult who has acuqired property and a T.D. I think. Thinking about all this stuff has me dwelling on what I would want if I go soon. I'm drafting a funeral plan. I'm posting this info out here so you all know- I've got a plan. Of course I have a plan! When have I not made a list or written an itinerary for something?! I'm a control freak and one who knows it is all in the details so this is just one other thing to check off my mental list. Create funeral plan. Make list of what items go to whom. Revise at will whenever I feel like. Keep in safe place, etc. Morbid probably but I'll feel better knowing that I'm not being buried in some gaudy coffin or a pine box. Nor do I want stuffy durge-like music. I'm precise and like things done right. This is just one more thing for me to go all balls out anal about.