Question of the Week-#103
If you are a working Mom, like me, do you find yourself not willing to discuss your child at work? Or like me find that people are afraid to ask you about your child because they think you don't want them to ask? Is there a line I'm not aware of?
Last week was my first week back at work and like any parent I brought photos in and posted them up in my office. I am one of few women in my office and while I'm not one of the only parents there aren't too many kiddie pics up or floating around. I steeled myself during the first day from making people look at photos of my baby even though all I could do all day was stare at her precious little face and sigh whistfully. As the week wore on I noticed something strange happening. People would see me and say "Welcome Back!" and ask if I had pictures. This was normally as I walked through a hallway and I would reply that yes I did have photos and they were in my office. They would always reply with an "Oh!" as if I was supposed to whip them out right then and there. I don't even have pockets in half my pants (that is a whole other issue- why don't women's pants have pockets?!) so carrying around pictures was not something I was doing. Then, in our weekly staff meeting my boss welcomed me back and said this- "If it's not too unprofessional would you mind us asking how the baby is?" WHAT? This is a man who told me I had to find someone to teach my kid the "pull my finger" joke. These are the same people who feel free to talk about whatever, whenever no matter who is present. UNPROFESSIONAL? Please! I said no, it's fine and so is the baby. That's it. I didn't go beyond that because it's a staff meeting and who wants to hear me drone on about how I think my kid is the cutest one ever created? Blah, blah, blah... It happened again later in another meeting in a project I'm on- how is the baby? I said - fine and smiled. I don't even know this person, how do they know I have a baby I wondered. My co-worker said to him- Oh, she doesn't like people asking about her kid. I couldn't believe it. I try to not gush and annoy people too much and I come off like some freaky celebrity who doesn't want anyone viewing photos of her child or who refuses to discuss them in interviews. It really made me wonder what the heck I was supposed to have done. What is the happy medium?
Vicky,
ReplyDeleteWorking with people with and without kids, and being one without right now...I guess it would just be that we care, but then again, we don't really care...(I'm speaking as I would feel about some co-workers...not as me your friend, who ABSOLUTELY CARES!!!) And then I guess people expect you to gush...so no, there's just no pleasing some people. I think you were trying to be professional, not hold up a meeting going on and on (which I had been your co-worker, I would have appreciated) although If I REALLY CARED (which I do about most my co-workers) I would have stopped by your office/desk to view the photos.
Bottom line, they are bunch of weirdos...If they care, they'll stop by. And any normal woman would totally get the no pockets thing...unless they happen to catch you with purse in hand, in which case, I guess/hope you would have a picture?
Anyway, I enjoy reading your blog! Hang in there!
By the way, from the photos I've seen, I would agree that she is ADORABLE!! :) But then I knew she would be.
Diane