And Then You Were One

I wish there was a pause button, a way to rewind all the magic that this first year has held for our family now that The Fifth Element has entered our world. While the year has been rough for us in some ways her arrival was the starting point for so many things.







When Abey Baby entered this world at 6 p.m. EST last August 18 I really do think I had a Grinch experience. My tiny little heart that had grown so much over the last four years decided to just let loose. I felt flooded by the intense sensation that suddenly I was at peace with motherhood. This kid, this one baby, was my golden ticket to finally feeling myself let go and really accept that this was our life. While I felt that our family was complete after we had The Comedian it ended up not being so. The addition of Abey/The Fifth Element opened that final tight, tiny door in my heart that had been glued shut. I felt at peace looking into her tiny, puckered face, her hand glued to her cheek as she did every time we saw her on the inside.


Our minds were blown when we went from a couple to a family of three when TD was born. The addition of a third kid put us in a whole new bracket. We are a FAMILY in all caps. We take up a lot of space in a restaurant and we are a rowdy bunch. The Fifth Elements gap-toothed grin and high pitched squeals of delight fit right in.


This time there was no well of darkness that I fell into after the birth. While juggling three kids under five is sometimes as crazy as asking a cat to make a cake it was so much easier this time around to experience the glow of new babyhood when I wasn't beyond a foggy veil of sadness, self-loathing and anger.


Instead it has been a year of smiles, chubby cheeks, chunky thighs, sweet baby kisses and a baby who can't understand for the life of her why she needs to stay still ever while she has her diaper changed.


We love you Abey. Happy Birthday, Short Stack.