Monday, August 03, 2009

Flying Deodorant Will Not Break Me

The morning started off well enough. I got TD off to Bubble Camp (best idea ever!) and took myself and The Comedian to the gym. I got in a nice run and worked up quite a sweat and was sufficiently pleased with myself. I walked into that bizarre TV/ironing room in the women's locker room and things went down hill from there.

-As I went into Warrior pose I somehow lost my balance and fell over face first. I iz wicked graceful. My face? It hit the arm rest on a chair placed in that room for optimal TV viewing.

-Next, I opened my gym bag to hit the shower and realized that I forgot my shower shoes. My feet itch just thinking about it. The entire time I was standing in the shower I could think of only two things. One, Madonna telling Letterman that she pees in the shower to kill Athletes foot. And two, scores of tiny bacteria eating away the flesh on the soles of my feet. Blech.

-Then I dried off and put on my bra only to have the strap break. Sigh. I tucked the other strap in and went into "strapless" bra mode. Since that isn't the way it's supposed to be worn the bra was bulging oddly out from my t-shirt. I pulled on my shorts and noticed that H hadn't treated the stain on them. Now clean and dried my one pair of khaki shorts is ruined. If I was TD I would have had a meltdown right then and there.

-Trying to be undaunted I went to dry my hair and finish getting ready. I realized I forgot to apply my deodorant so I pulled it out and uncapped it. The stick went flying through the air. Well, just the deodorizing part. When I picked it up to place it back inside its tube my fingers got stuck in it and I had large chunks of antiperspirant on my hands. Which then just smeared everywhere.

I really just wanted to pack it all in at this point and head for cover. Like under my covers with my 'bink', my old tattered blue blanket from when I was a kid. The one I still take out when I'm sick. Except, I'm 33 years old and things can't always go my way.

Enough goes right in my world that flying deodorant and not wearing shower shoes should not get me down. After all, there is cheese in my fridge and 'True Blood' on my DVR. That alone can make my day.


  1. It's a deodorant epidemic. My last two sticks have done that to me. Except they go flying and break into pieces.

    It's times like those that I miss a CVS right around the corner.

  2. I hate that. I think my deodorant breaks about once a month and shatters in my bedroom and then I am crawling around on the floor, picking up little pieces of deodorant. then I forget about it and grab a bagel and then get a mouthful of deodorant residue, which sucks the moisture right out of your mouth. It's pretty much hell.

  3. I keep a carabiner on my gym bag that I use to hang my nasty shower flip flops. When I leave the gym, they go right on the carabiner, so they air dry and I don't worry about forgetting them.


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