Currently at J&J Camp Baby
Hour One
The blogosphere is alive and well. Watching people blog, email and twitter away. Why did I leave my laptop in my room? Baby brain has begun already.
Sucking on sorry little butter mints found at the bottom of my purse to prevent the inevitable nausea that never fails at this hour. Thinking about the cinnamon and brown sugar pop tarts hangin' in my purse.
Ooh look! I'm sitting between Moms Favorite Stuff and Mums The Wurd!
New Food Fact: Nutmeg is a hallucinogen. Anyone have any nutmeg recipes?
Eating No More Tears bubbles is A-OK. So is bathwater. Guzzling No More Tears? It's just a good laxative. Whew!
Hour Two
Despite cutting boards being dirtier than a toilet seat it is still not OK to make a sandwich on the potty.
Just scarfed down the pop tarts. Was tasty despite hearing about oozing diapers and the Rota virus.
This germ session is making me queasy. Where's the Purell?
Use hot water on the undies and infant clothes. Seriously. The poop cannot be contained.
Talking mommy tats. Had no idea the tramp stamp and epidural could be an issue.
LUNCH!
Ack. Gag. Too much saliva. Lunch a bust. Andouille sausage burgers with beets=gestational gagging. Want to eat fruit, steamed veggies and cottage cheese. Or a full bag of Smart Food.
Twizzlers might be my new fave food group.
Go figure, the food lady is pluggin' Splenda. Will not succumb to using the devil's sugar.
Hour Nine hundred eighty-four
Just had to braid hair on a fake head. Told hair stylist that the damaged fake hair on the mannequin makes me feel queasy so, no touchy for me.
Want to take a nap.
Smart Food is my only hope. Snacking like a mofo.
Just because you market something in a beige bottle with green writing with a leaf on it doesn't make me think you've gone all green. I read labels.
They are picking our brains right now. P-I-C-K-I-N-G. Is J&J timeless? Is it old-fashioned? Do we use it? Why? What brands? Is it a classic brand? Why do we buy what we buy? Oh my...
INTERNETS- Do you use Johnson & Johnson? Why? What are you using on your kids?
As you know, I don't have kids, but I don't even use J & J on myself and can't imagine putting it on a baby. Not after I learned about the evils of mineral oil.
ReplyDeleteI do use J&J because I like the smell. Plus my kids tend to have somewhat sensitive skin and I have never had a problem with them, so why change it?
ReplyDeleteI thought the hair braiding thing was just a joke. They really did a session on it?!?
ReplyDeleteHi! I just found your blog through Rebecca's (girlsgonechild). I was laughing out loud at this post! I'm not a mom, but I nanny part-time for baby twin girls and their 2 year old brother, and have an 11-month old nephew....alas, I have a tramp stamp and panicked when I heard about the epidural issue....but we shall see. ;)
ReplyDeleteMy "kids" are rather old for Johnson & Johnson, honestly, but I did use their baby shampoo when mine were tots. Now? Just the bandaids. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was great meeting you! I love your blog header.
ReplyDeleteThe creepy doll heads grossed me out.
I do use J&J products. There's nothing better than the smell of their shampoo and baby wash!
"Just because you market something in a beige bottle with green writing with a leaf on it doesn't make me think you've gone all green. I read labels." FUNNY
ReplyDeleteso what did J & J get out of this?
I use "no more tears" shampoo on my dogs faces. They have a lot of eye staining and it breaks it up and doesn't hurt their eyes. EXCELLENT to know they can lick it off their faces. I try not to let them, but it happens.
ReplyDeleteI buy only J&J q-tips. My mom had a co-worker who used a no name brand and got one stuck in her ear and needed a dr. to remove it.