Monday, December 10, 2007

Tiny Dictator Institutes New Regime

What fresh hell is this? I must have asked myself this question more than once last night. We are dealing with something new here and I don't know what it is, but it scares me.

After a Sunday filled with a whiny, non-napping toddler who seemed on the verge of a complete meltdown/revolt. Her totalitarian regime was going full-tilt in her mind as she marched about the house screaming orders to her less than cooperative minions. OK her one "minion", the dog. The dog who looked just as freaked as us by this evil twist of events. Sure. Sometimes the kid doesn't nap. Sometimes. And it's not fun but screaming in terror at night? That's new. I felt like we were back at the six months mark or something and we can't find the dog. I fear the worst.

7:30 p.m.- Bedtime. She goes down seemingly easy. Ah! Sleep. Ten seconds after the door is shut to her room we hear the whines and cries. We let her Ferberize herself. The nerve of us! Ten minutes later there is blissful quiet. The desire to smoke ten cigarettes and consume a jug o wine abides. Slowly.

The evening passes uneventfully enough. H and I sleep peacefully in our beds until...

11:13 p.m.- Crying from across the hall rouses me awake. I am plucked from my dream about driving a red Trans Am on a conveyor belt (hills are a bitch by the way) and I sit up to listen. Yup. That's crying. OK now that's screaming. What the? I go across the hall and talk T.D. down. I cover her up and soothe her. Her little eyelids flutter and she closes her eyes. Slowly, with eyes half-closed, I step ever closer to the door. Just as I place my hand on the door knob she begins to whimper then wail again. My shoulders sag in defeat and I soothe her again. Finally, I leave the room only to have her begin crying in earnest all over again as I climb back into bed.

I mutter aloud that I have "no freakin' idea what has possessed her!" and H and I wait. She'll go back to sleep right? heeheeehee [Nervous laughter erupts from both of us] Clearly we aren't conditioned to these nocturnal wakings anymore.

11:34 p.m.- H gets up and goes to the dictators room. Moments later he's back in and declaring he'll just be sleeping on her floor for a while. Awesome. It's like that huh? She's won. Easily too.

12:52 a.m.- Do I hear crying again? I wake from a dream where I'm back to being a freshman in college. My concrete dorm room has six beds in it and a leaky shower. There is mildew on the mint green walls. Well, that sucks.

Huh. I realize that H is not in our bed. He's still on the floor of T.D.'s room. Wrapped in a spare blanket and using two receiving blankets as a make-shift pillow he cat naps on and off in between attempting to leave the room. Each time he quietly rises and slinks towards the door he is met with wails and whimpers. What fresh hell is this?

2:27 a.m.- I wake again. Tossing and turning with the extra blankets and bed space I am awakened by a jingling sound. Has Christmas come early? Are reindeer on the roof? Confused I sit up and realize the dog's tags are stuck in her crate floor. Again. I get up. Dislodge her tags, shove her back into her crate and tuck her in. I am so tired. I am not awake. I am tired. Did I mention I'm tired?

5:00 a.m.- Is that an alarm? I'm so confused. H is still not in our bed. Wait, there he is creeping into our room. It's quiet too. Aaah. Sleep. Though we both know we have mere moments until we wake up again.

6:58 a.m.- Crap! We overslept! Quietly I get dressed and head downstairs to make about 8 gallons of coffee to hook up to my IV that I will cart around today.

And we're thinking of having another?

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