Thursday, June 07, 2007

A Vodka on the Rocks please, hold the Rocks

Beware of Mommy. Or just be weary of me. It should be a sign I wear around my neck today. Front to back -please read before approaching- Be weary of this woman. She's twitchy evil today.

Hormones? Yes.

Lack of sleep? Check.

Sick of "Big, Big World" playing on the TV? You betcha! Dawson's Creek is now playing in the background only slightly more tolerable. Which one is worse is a toss up at the moment. Joey Potter always irritated me a tad bit more than ginormous head Dawson. Currently Dawson and his giant head seem to be having some sort of existential crises.

Things that disturb me today and have furthered this 'woke up on the wrong side of the bed' syndrome.

Rachel Ray's Voice and all her "cute" little catchphrases. EVO is going to put me into a blind rage one day. Am I the only person on the planet who finds her voice and her to be more annoying than a hemorrhoid? I loathe that she is now endorsing the Nut.

Does America really run on Dunkin? I hope not. That slogan instills fear in me regarding our country's future. At least with John Goodman as the celebrity voice it was credible if not slightly comforting.

Ooh a fight just broke out on Dawson. At a school dance no less complete with punch bowl and everything!

The fact that the spiffy new vegetable peeler works for H but not for me disturbs me. It's a vegetable peeler for God's sake.

My den smells like fifty cats pissed in it and we don't own even one cat.

I have now cleaned my kitchen floor a minimum of five times, really five times, in less than 24 hours. Ah life with a toddler, a still asleep mommy, and a dog.

Ok, someone tell me why no one says what they are actually thinking EVER on Dawson's? Instead they just sit in angst looking puzzled and then jump off a dock.

The 'findafuckbuddy' spam in my inbox. No strings attached the ad promises. Awesome. Now get the fuck out of my inbox fuckbuddy. I'm too evil for you.

I'm feeling crazy like Crawford today. I gotta go find me a tumbler of vodka on the rocks before I hack apart the rose bush.


  1. Ooooooooooooh honey how I feel ya. Yes, Rachel Ray is extremely annoying. I thought she was cute and fun at first, but the EVOO thing throws me over the edge. Ever notice that she has to elaborate on what EVOO stands for nearly every time she says it? Then what's the point of the acronym?

    Make mine a double!

  2. I'm with ya. Rachel Ray is spawn of the devil. Thought she was cute at first but the EVOO finally sent me over the edge. (Why have an acronym so stupid that you have to explain what it stands for nearly every time you say it?)

    As for the floor, I gave up and currently have jam stuck to my feet.

    Make mine a double.


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