Detox a.k.a. Stealing Food From Toddlers

After a week of too much cake, grilled food and I'm not talking veggies, and all things not in the realm of healthy food H and I decided that we needed to detox ourselves. To us that means only water, water with lemon, no carbs, no sugar, no refined or processed foods. Fruit is added in on day two or three in moderation. No meat. Sorry Hilshire. Veggies are what we live on with some nuts for craziness.

The first day is always the hardest. You crave whatever you have had too much of and you desperately think of food all day. A Fluffernutter, that hidden chocolate in my nightstand, or cheese glorious cheese! Dinner that night was a bleak affair. We silently munched our mung beans and tofu while trying to find the hidden joy in detoxing our bodies.

Day two is the energy surge. Your mind and body begin to clear and suddenly you can attack many projects. I become tres productive. Downing that morning glass of lemon water really charges up my system! However, as the day wore on so did the constant feeling of wanting more. I served T.D. mac 'n' cheese and couldn't stop inhaling it's cheesy goodness. I eyed her animal crackers like a wild, starved animal and yes, I confess, one did find it's way into my mouth. The best damn animal cracker of my life! To taste that classic lemony flavor was pure heaven in the shape of a monkey. I reformed myself until later that day. H came home and we had dinner. Tasty black beans and sauteed veggies. We settled in for the night. An hour later after devouring an apple and a second helping of black beans I found I was still quite hungry. Starving actually. I began to think of food again. Then I heard rustling in the kitchen. The microwave was going. H walks into the living room where I'm reading with a giant slab of birthday cake. I glare at him and say, "If this is supposed to trick me into getting off detox it won't work!" He smiles and says, "I'm 30 freakin' years old! If I want cake I'm going to eat cake!" He then shows me his piece which is bigger than mine. Mmmm cake. I'll eat more veggies tomorrow I swear.