Monday, November 13, 2006

Cantankerous Me



Obviously I've been on a bit of a rant the last few days. Chalk it up to post-election fever or what have you. Regardless my undies have been in a bunch. This past weekend I think I was given too much time to think as H was away at a seminar and it was just T.D. and I hanging out. That four hour nap she took on Saturday left me with time to ponder as I did my Christmas cards (yes, I know, I did my Christmas cards already). I'm also done with stocking stuffers and all but a few left on my 'To buy for' list.

I started thinking about how it will be in a few months when I'm home with T.D. full time and looking for freelance work, eeking out my exsistence as a writer, as well as, working on the family business. It's a lot of roles to play on top of getting used to being with my kid 24/7. I told H I feel like I should be drilling T.D. with flashcards and foreign language tapes from day one that I'm home. The whole thing makes me scared as hell that I'll be bored and H will come home to me only being able to converse about poopy diapers and how many times T.D. tried to eat the dog's food. Sigh....

I keep telling myself I wanted this. I do. It's just so foreign to me. Me a person who honestly never pictured herself with a child much less staying home with that kid. I'm not sure how to live up to the task and not drown in the monotany that can be every day at home and on a smaller income. I will just have to figure it out as I go along.

That being said I must remind myself of these things:

1. What you put into it is what you get out of it (that was drilled into me in my old sorority girl days about being part of the sisterhood. It worked then so why not now.)

2. Negative feelings out= negativity in.

3. The universe gives back what you give out. Same as above really.

4. Blah, blah, blah....

5. Lastly, go to the gym regularly. They have free daycare and I can reduce the
size of my cooking baking butt too!

Recite these things to self each day until I no longer need to drill a hole in my head for feeling. That's a joke.

3 comments:

  1. Hi, I came here through the BlogHer Ad network. I've been a SAHM for almost 8 years, and I can almost guarantee you that you will not be bored! I recommend finding a playgroup which will get you out of the house at least one day a week. Libraries and bookstores have Story Hour too, which is a great way to meet other At Home Moms. Sounds like you'll be busy with the freelancing and family business, too. Good luck!

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  2. I like your blog. Have you ever thought of being paid to write? If so, email me at scotsd50@yahoo.com. We have multiple projects you may be interested in.

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  3. Anonymous6:25 PM

    I wouldn't over stress yourself about trying to "educate" her too much. Sure I plan to do educational things with Liam while I am home. I think some people go way overboard and totally freak out. I figure at 6 weeks I have no idea if he would even want to go to Harvard. I don't want to push things so learning isn't fun. Do whatever feels right and sane for the two of you. I am stressing about tummy time since he has a bit of a flat spot. He will only sleep with his head one way. I try to turn it in his sleep and five minutes later he's right back. I did answer the door for the mailman today in a tank top with the nipples cut out. Thank god I had my bra on! He must have thought I was crazy. At least I was holding Liam.

    I read somewhere that stay at home moms read an average of 5 blogs a day on a regular basis. Thank god for the internet.

    Siobhan

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