Monday, September 18, 2006

Oh My Heavens!

Or Heavens to Merkatroid! I am all over the place. As Henry Rollins once said, "my shits all apart." That is truly in as much of a nutshell as I can put it how I feel. I am all over the place. I don't know whether or not I'm coming or going.

It's been an insane weekend in our little world and while we leave for our trip to Jamaica in two days I can't even fathom it. The only thing at this point I think of is call the pet sitter, set the alarm for her, how are we getting to the airport? Are we walking? When is my MIL coming to our house to pick up T.D.? Is T.D. getting sick from me? H is. Did we pack? What am I forgetting? Oh I have to go to work before then? Oops, I forgot. Like I said, my shit is all apart.

All this suffice to say is making me really tired and drawing out the life of my cold. The simple act of brushing my teeth seems too much. I have a freelance job and now I have re-writes. Plus my full-time job and the baby, packing, and trying to be a good wife. I'm failing all of them miserably. Something had to give and it's all giving right now. I just have nothing left in me at the moment. The point of vacation is for H and I to get away, rest, relax and reconnect. I think we need a month on a desert island at this point to reconnect. I was hoping/needing this weekend to do that before our trip so I could get excited about it really in all honesty and that just didn't happen. What happened was this.

Friday - I had the day off. I felt much improved on Thursday from the cold and so I figured while I felt sort of ick on Friday, well I had the whole other two days to rest. Ha Ha. Yeah right. That so is not what happened. I had a wonderful time on Friday with my friend. I wouldn't trade that day at all. Saturday morning though- different story. I awoke feeling like crap on a spatula. While it's not the worst cold I've ever had it was not good. But, I figured. H is home, it's "family day" for us and we're fine. Nope. EMERGENCY, EMERGENCY, H needs to head to the house we are rehabbing. He spends the day there doing work our contractor should be doing but he is MIA. Bastard. No tooth bastard. I spend the day taking care of T.D. who is in good spirits (thankfully) and cleaning and packing all in hopes that I would feel more organized. Not really.

Sunday came and I was running a mild fever, T.D. was sneezing a bit which has me freaked. I would hate to have her catch this cold especially while we are gone. H napped on the couch while I put T.D. in the tub so I could get a shower. It was not a fun moment. Our house is not childproofed yet, there just hasn't been enough time. Catching a theme here? We haven't even had time to have a cohesive conversation on what type of gates to get nevermind buy or install them. So in the garden-style tub she went sans water but with some toys and her blanket. Five minutes later when I emerged from the shower she was alseep in the tub face down. What a sight. I placed her in her crib and finished getting ready for the day. What I was going to do with the day I had no idea. I was too worn out to go to the party I was invited to at a neighbors. The idea of running even fun errands for our trip? Nope, didn't care so much anymore. I just wanted a quiet house with a nap. I wanted to crawl into bed and not hear a sound. Just lights out for Mummy. Get better and be in a better frame of mind.

I feel like I need a vacation to gear up for vacation. I keep checking the hotel website to get excited. I'm getting there but it took some talking into. I'm too keyed up. H is getting the cold now. I'm worried T.D. will besides the fact that I'm for the first time worried about traveling over any part of ocean and our plane going down and suddenly she's orphaned. That's such a relaxing thought.

I will end with the cheery thought that it's slow at work and I have some re-writes to do on a freelance job I just got- which pays!! I will ignore the churchy tirade going on in the office kitchen next to me and get to work.

I may have to start a thankful list today.

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