Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing

What the heck is it about Target that is like some freakish vortex that sucks you in and makes you spend an obscene amount of money? Today, I went into our newly renovated Target (still not as good as the new one a town over) and I went in to buy sheets and a birthday card. Sheets and a birthday card, sheets and a birthday card. That's it. I swear!!! I need to be on a leash when I go in that store or have one of those zapping dog collars. Oop! Get too close to picking up something not needed! ZAP!!! You get the dog collar. Alas that does not exist and I'm sure Target would discourage use of it in their stores if it did exist. So, what happened? I cruise into the store and get a cart. I'm buying sheets and they can be bulky so a hand basket will not do. That my dear reader was my first mistake. Do I go directly to the bedding dept? No, I do not. I can't find it as the store is all different from the renovation. This requires that I wander around which is VERY VERY BAD. Oooh! What do I see? Swimming pants and tiny cute strap on baby sunglasses for T.D. Just like I've always wanted! In they go into the cart. Next up, lingerie. Did you know that Target sold that? I didn't but I do now and it's so cute. So in goes two pairs of panties and a matching bra. Who says I'm not interested in reviving parts of my marriage? Not me! PPD be damned! Target has spoken. In they go into the cart. I do resist the women's clothing section and feel quite proud of myself as I head to the card section. One card, that's what I need. One birthday card for my mother. Yeah right. Resistance is futile. I buy three cards. One for my mother, one for her from T.D. and one for a friends imminent birthday. Finally, in the distance I see the Target red bedding dept sign. I make haste there trying not to get distracted by housewares. It's a hard won battle but I survive and come to an endcap in bedding showing 600 thread count sheets on sale. SALE? Wheee!!!!! I love a sale! Six hundred thread count sateen sheets are divine. I quickly scoop up a fitted, flat and two packs of pillowcases. I make an icky face at the 300 thread count sateen and I'm on my way to the register. When all is totaled up and the teenage clerk has just mangled my new undies sufficiently enough I gulp and think- Curses! How could I let this happen again. I place an emergency call to my sponsor but sadly she does not answer. She really is rather my shopping partner in crime but I know she'll understand and talk me down.