Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Oh crap!


Fade in: Talking to a co-worker about non-work stuff when I hear my cell phone ring. Ooh it's 6:45 a.m. that can only be something to do with T.D. I must get that. I look at the screen as it blinks my husband's cell phone number. I answer and he says- I just did a bad thing. I immediately think again it's something with T.D. He lost control and smacked her (she was up at 3:30 and we're both on 4 or less hours of sleep) which is so bad but it was what popped into my head. He didn't sound like it was an accident so I figured he lost his cool or something and had a freak out Daddy Dearest moment. No. Instead this is what I hear.

Husband: (who should be called for the sake of this story my second child) I just did a bad thing.

Me: What?

Husband: I was putting stuff in my car and you know how our neighbors never pick up there dog crap?

Me: Oh no, I'm thinking to myself. Oh no! This is going to be baaaadd. Yes? I answered.

Husband: Well, I stepped in it and there's like 3 piles out there and they have no respect for their neighbors. We've talked to them repeatedly.

Me: WHAT DID YOU DO?! (to myself: what on earth could he have done this early in the morning - they aren't up yet. ) I imagine him pounding on the door of their house waking them to yell at them. Oh no. That's not it though.

Husband: I picked it all up and put it on their doorstep.

Me: (in flames? What?) In a bag?

Husband: No. I had it in a bag but I dumped it out on their step.

Me: (insert screaming of his name!) How could you? I do not want to start a war with them! I do not want to have a feud. (Who knows what they are capable of, not to mention how this complicates relations)

Husband: I know (sounding meeker) But, they've been warned.

Me: Great! Well, this is all on you. I have nothing to do with this and you must deal with it.

This is unreal. They will know it's us as even though other neighbors have commented on it we are the only ones who have said anything. 3 times. First we were nice. Just a "Hey, you know you have to pick that up, right?" Ok, thanks. Second time, "We don't want to be those anal neighbors but you have to pick that up, it's against county laws and not good for the children that run around on our common areas". Third time, "Hey! It's against the law. Don't pick it up once a week. Pick it up each time the dog goes!" They had gotten a lot better, but those three piles and they were right in front of our car. He just lost it. It's not an excuse and it's embarrassing. I'm now going to feel horribly uncomfortable outside in the front or our deck. I already did after the first 3 warnings. He should have just called the Home Owners association.

Why all this so early in the morning? Now I feel like I can't make a move. If the windows are open and T.D. is freaking out, or if we have a party and we are loud they are going to retaliate.

This is so not good. eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

To be continued...

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After some email discussion about said incident above Husband has decided on this approach:

I'm not going to admit to anything. If they ask me about it I'm going to say, "So you didn't clean up your dog's sh*t. You left in out in the middle of the neighborhood, showing no respect for any of your neighbors. Where anyone could step in it at any time, where little kids could step it at any time. So you failed to clean up your unsanitary pile of crap and someone placed it on your front step to clean up? Wow, that sounds like you should start cleaning up after your dog doesn't it"

He really has a good point. They should pick it up. I would love it if one day I could come home and not be greeted by the smell of hot crap baking in the sun all day. Or feel like I'm glaring at them like Damien from the Omen each time they bring their dog outside to "Do it's business!" That's what they yell at their dog. "Do your business!" It's a bit weird to say the least. I'm wondering if they've taught the dog to sh*t on command with that one.

6 comments:

  1. Way to go Big Daddy D!

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  2. Way to go Big Daddy D! How funny!

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  3. I love it! Not classy, but very effective. Classy is overrated :)

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  4. I think it's fantastic. And hopefully, it'll be very effective!

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  5. I think it's fantastic - and probably very effective!

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  6. Anonymous4:02 PM

    Unless they have photographic proof he should admit to nothing. They are a bit over the top with not picking it up. They don't know where the crap was. If they admit they knew it was in front of your car really they are as in it themseleves.

    Siobhan

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