Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The Big But...

In prevous posts I've alluded to my husband being very hands on and protective. He's a great father BUT... he's also a man. I know that sounds bad to some but we all know that sometimes they just don't get it. I personally think in some instances, like the one I'll outline below, they totally get it BUT choose to ignore it.

Ok, this might get ugly but I need to get this the hell out of my system.

Sunday morning I awoke in our hotel to feed the baby. She slept a record number of 8 hours but after a night of dancing and having a few I was still exhausted. My husband, he was completely hung over. Nice. This always works my last nerve because I just never let myself get that drunk. I don't mix my alchohols, it's like Drinking 101 but somehow he doesn't get it. Maybe one day he'll get the hang of it. Until then I will always be pissed off the next morning when I'm the one packing up all our gear and the babies, getting myself ready and starving because we are supposed to be heading out the door to eat but he can't get his hungover butt off the hotel couch or bed. Whew! This is exactly what happened. Then we drive home, me in the drivers seat, he slumped over in the passenger seat. Me shooting devil looks at him and hoping I don't fall asleep at the wheel. He finally requests that we stop for him to have some hangover cure-all food. McDonald's. We're already running late meeting friends for lunch. The last thing I want is to add fat-ass inducing McD's to my meal plan but I'm dying here! So I stop. We eventually meet our friends and he is suddenly fine and we have our second lunch. Augh. I know I'm not alone here in this behavior.

Monday dawns after a full day of me alone caring for the baby. He has taken a week off from work to help out as I get ready to head back to work. What a great guy huh? BUT... NO! He spends the entire day outside. I am stuck inside with the baby tending her needs while he washes windows, lays mulch, etc. Yes, these things need to be done but I was starting to feel the need for a break from the continous feeding and diaper changing. What happens next? He finishes his yard work, while I've done 5 loads of laundry, unpacked and put all our stuff away, cleaned and run errands as well as entertain and care for our kid. He goes out that night. He doesn't come back until almost 11. Doesn't call, nothing! He gets home and I'm trying desperately to stay awake and feed her one last time. She's not having any of it.

WARNING: this is where I start to really lose it.

She's squirming, fighting sleep, it's going on an hour and 15 minutes of trying to get her to sleep and stop crying. He says - WOW! I'm really wired from being out! How are you feeling? ( I was sick earlier in the day too- fever, aches, I have no idea why, run down I suppose) I reply- I'm exhausted and still not feeling any better.

Does he offer to take the baby and put her down as this is normally his time to deal with her. Nope! He just stares at me and then watches sports. 20 minutes later he comes upstairs to find me asleep and still holding the wide awake child. He finally says- Do you want me to take her? At this time , I think- WHAT IS THE FREAKING POINT?! JUST LEAVE ME BEFORE I HURT YOU WITH MY DEATH RAYS THAT ARE NOW GOING TO START SHOOTING OUT OF MY EYES!!

Sadly this story does continue. I finally crawl under the covers, so happy to be there and he turns to me and says- "You know you don't seem yourself the last few days. I want you to take it easy this week and not be stressed out with going back to work. That's why I'm off. To handle and help out." He then proceeds to try and make out with me. I have to literally ball up my fists and bite my lower lip to keep from spewing out the copious amounts of bile I can feel brewing inside me.

BUT...it goes on. Sorry dear reader it does. BUT... hang in there. Tuesday morning comes. The baby is up even earlier than normal. No rest for the wicked I guess. My mind is slowly turning to mush. Evil thoughts cloud my vision. I am an angry, sick woman whose spouse is IGNORING the crying baby and sleeping in. I'm trying to get us both out the door to drop off the car for some routine work. Trying my damndest to get the thought out of my head that my spouse, at this point in name only, is spending the day outside again, in the glorious sunshine at a baseball game with a friend. I will spend it with the baby again, running around trying to get crap done. Sigh... are you feeling my pain here? I'm getting to the end of my rope.

I do try and make the best of it all and instead of waiting indoors at the auto shop I take the baby for a walk around the area and we walk to the library, my gym where I used to sweat and back again. As I'm leaving guess who pulls into the parking lot. I think- Oh! Is he actually here to say goodbye to me and see how we are? NOPE. He says- "I can't find my cell phone charger. Is it in your car?" I resist whacking his head repeatedly into the hard car door. Or backing over his foot. He kisses me goodbye and says- "Ooohkay..." because I'm less than pliable to him at this point. I yell fakely- Have fun!!!

I get home and he has not taken out the trash. He has left the trash out but not outside nor did he get it from all over the house. It was the one thing I asked him to do before I left that morning. There is now a dent in the counter where I slammed an object down in fury.

This has been one giant-ass BUT...


  1. Well sounds like you handled the whole situation very nicely, seeing how it all went down. Glad to hear you had a good time at the wedding. Sorry to hear the rest of the weekend/week before return to work is not going to hot. I so can see your face and your balled up fits when you manage not to beat the crap out of him.

  2. Men are clueless to when we need help. Ask and/or demand more help from him! And of course, withold sex until you're completely satisfied with his assistance.

  3. So sorry these past few weeks have been so rough Vicky. I think you and Husband need a good long heart-to-heart about whats going on between you three. My advice, not that you've asked but I'll offer it up anyways....Dont be quiet about your pain with his lack of interest and initiative, tell him what you need and want. He's obviously completely clueless. Reagan looks so much bigger! She's gorgeous!


Thanks for commenting! It's always good to hear from a reader and not say, a robot.