Light It Up!

Now with an Alternate Title: "Vicky's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"

Uh... yeah. So if I could have lit a day on fire and just set it ablaze, yesterday would have been that day. I would have just torched that sucker after dousing it in lighter fluid or about 18 gallons of gasoline and let it burn, baby, burn.

We woke up late and as I hurried us off to school- can't miss school picture day after all- I was a bit stressed but coming out of it. Nothing a good dose of "kid at school" quiet time won't fix. I ran some quick errands, did a bit of work, showered and was good to go. Relaxed and everything. Pick up from school was a whiny trek home but it was to be expected. She gets worn the hell out. What I didn't anticipate was the following:

-Whining in the car.
-Whining on the sidewalk and through the front door.
-Whining that only pink cheese was to be served at lunch time. After much debate it was established that pink cheese does not exist and white would do just fine. While I cut up strawberries for dessert TD chucked her lunch in the trash. I failed to notice this until the bowl of strawberries was being devoured. Where the hell was the lunch plate? Oh there it is... in the trash. Sigh.

Finally, I sat down to eat with her and she went to the use the bathroom. Seemed like a good plan and I excused myself as well. Less than two minutes later I'm back downstairs finding wet footprints on the floor. In the foyer, by the bathroom, in the kitchen and also the living room. WTF? TD is clearly still in the bathroom and upset about something. I investigate and find the bathroom floor completly flooded. The toilet is to the brim and beyond. It is an overflowing mess of toilet paper, a clogged pipe and well, yes, poop. Kick ass. It's now hitting the floor at a rapid pace. Grumbling, I head downstairs with her soggy pants and to look for clean up items. No sooner do I begin to pick up the rags to clean up the mess but I realize I'm being rained on.

Huh.

Is that a leaky pipe or F'ing toilet water raining down on me from upstairs? If you guessed the second you would be correct. I send a pantless TD to play in her kitchen area. DO NOT DISTURB MUMMY RIGHT NOW. HUNGRY PREGNANT LADY is now covered in the real eau de toilette and she is not happy or hungry. Just pissed. The thought, "if I was at work right now this would not be my life" enters my brain. Back upstairs in full cleaning and plunging mode toilet water sprays me in the face. I am literally sickened. My body aches from the bending and reaching. The mood is not good.

Finally, all is clean. The basement is no longer leaking. The floor and bathroom mopped. I am clean again too. TD is wearing pants. I can sit down and eat lunch. I'm exhausted. A nap is in full order and shortly after we are all down for the count for the next few hours. I wake refreshed and in a much better mood. TD on the other hand is upset about the state of her graham crackers and this seems to mean imminent doom. I persevere and head outside for some distraction/play time.

Later that day, despite my best efforts to keep salvaging my mood and hers, I still find myself feeling like a failure. A failure as a wife and a mother. My attempts to get dinner on the table are not sufficient, my timing is off, my child is declared a brat and I feel responsible since um.. isn't she with me all day? H is annoyed that I am not going to girls night (too exhausted and not in the mood, I just want the comfort of home and him) and TD bucks bed time for an hour and ends up accidentally kicking me which just sends me over the edge into a messy abyss of emotions.

At 3 a.m. this morning I was up. I feel fragile and edgy. At 34 weeks I'm ready for this pregnancy to be done. I'm sick of the roller coaster emotions, the clumsiness, forgetfulness and the aches and pains. The insomnia one minute and total exhaustion, double chin and sausage fingers are just doing me in. I want to feel competetent and myself again. I want to be a good mother, wife and friend. I feel I'm failing in every single capacity, every second of each day.


Check out this week's Honest Baby piece by me.