Dog for Sale

"Psst... Hey Lady! Get me out of this thing! Lady? Do you hear me?" I said, "GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN METAL CAGE! NOW!!!"


The whining had been going on for a solid half hour at this point. I just didn't want to give in to the inevitable jumping on the bed, scratching with talons of death and jingling of the collar that is like an alarm clock for TD.


"FREEDOM!!!" "You know what I'm going to do now don't you? That's right. I'm going to go over to your kids bedroom door, you know the one who is sleeping in today and I'm going to wake her butt up. RIGHT NOW! Ha ha!"


Bang, bang, BANG!


TD is now officially up. The plan has worked and I have been successfully thwarted by my 28 lb dog. All fury and hyper activity. To say that she missed us is an understatement.


To have her wake up a sleeping-in toddler, steal half her breakfast, play tug of war with her stuffed dog and dolly, force the kid to slam her bedroom door in her face just to have some peace. A toddler who doesn't want 24/7 excitement? Who knew? All within 20 minutes. Well, let's just say that the dog is not winning any points in this house today.


We get it. You missed us. Now stop clawing, bouncing, barking and racing up and down the stairs like some meth-crazed, tweeked out dog half your age. You are seven after all and you normally sleep all day and treat me like the help. I'm kind of cool with that now.


Ah, the screaming, running, thudding and chasing has commenced once again.



UPDATE: "I put Lex in! I put Lex in", says TD coming down the stairs. "I locked her in her cage." I hear 28 lbs slamming itself against something hard. She's like Jaws ramming into the sides of the metal cage at this point. Two seconds later more screaming as TD lets Lex out and I hear, "You hurt my legs! Ah! You hurt my legs!" A wounded TD comes limping down stairs. The talons of death have struck again.

*Art by Mister Reusch.