Crap! I forgot to pack my fat pants!

I'm headed to BlogHer tomorrow. It's my first time. Be gentle with me. I realized this morning amidst my cramming in other blogging stuff and figuring out what to pack that the last time I was in lovely and chilly San Fran I had to buy fat pants to board the plane.

That's right. You heard me. FAT PANTS. I think it deserves the all caps.

Never before had I gained weight like that so fast. Two weeks in S.F. eating at Mel's, on Bay Street, The Garlic Rose and more and all I came back with was a taste for fine food and an expanded waist line. I remember trying to squeeze into my jeans and having to head to the nearest Gap in horror as I bought a pair of men's drawstring cargo pants. I still own them too dammit and that was back in the year 2000. I use them as snow pants now so I can layer up.

This go round? It's a new type of fat pants complete with an elasticized waist of what feels like steel. Maternity pants. Yippie damn shippymacflippyshadippy. I keep reading all these posts about what to wear and pack for BlogHer and all I can think is, do maternity capris count? If I wear an extra pound of make up and mousse in my hair maybe it will distract others from the fact that my shoes no longer fit and I only wear flip flops now? As for keeping warm in the colder climes of NoCal (is that a word?) I have a light sweater. I possess my own furnace right now and am hardly cold. If anything I might shove someone for simply standing too close and sucking heat off me.

I'm nice I swear.

I smile sometimes too. Just ask these fine ladies.

Speaking of traveling, MPR is holding a giveaway of some handy dandy road trip products- Blink Smudge wipes, Prestone fuel cleaner and more! Go ahead - you know you want to enter!