Work At Home Mom Takes a Meeting

You give yourself an hour to get somewhere that takes thirty minutes. You take three hours to get yourself and the two kids ready for an outing that will take about three hours as well.

On the way to the meeting you get hit with some gnarly traffic, get lost on a few one way streets, scream so loud in a parking garage your three year-old quips, "Look, Mommy! Curious George! Just calm down..." Realize you need to valet the car and get two kids in car seats out with all their gear and some shorty (I kid, because I love) is standing in your spot texting away. An angel descends on your car and takes the oldest by the hand and leads you into the building.

After a quick hello to Clifford, the big red dog, you drop the kiddies off and head to your meeting. You are dressed, your hair is coiffed and you are even sportin' a piece of non-wedding related jewelry. You actually feel together, eat your lunch while it is still hot and can have conversations that don't start with, "If you eat one more bite of..." You are in heaven.

All too soon you find yourself getting honked at in the valet line as it takes you five seconds to throw the baby carrier in the car and another ten seconds (seriously, only ten seconds! world record!! am fastest mother ever!) to throw the toddler into her seat. You want to throw the bird and yell something along the lines of - "Bite me, old white guy! I'd like to see you get these kids in a car this fast!" However, you remain calm, tip the valet and drive off into a dead stop.

More traffic hell awaits and the kids aren't getting any perkier. You toss some snacks at the toddler along with a large piece of plastic known as 'Frosty' that looks suspiciously like a baby doll and not a snowman and hope the baby doesn't meltdown as you sit in four walls of car snarl. When you finally make it home all you want to do is crash but instead you end up bathing a baby with an exploding diaper and ripping apart the car seat to throw it in the wash.

When my husband takes a meeting? He simply gets up from his desk and walks over to it.