Friday, September 07, 2007

The Slowest Death

Folks, allow me to direct your attention to Exhibit A. Now don't be alarmed! They are indeed ugly I know. Hideous, just hideous. They are however only a pair of shorts. Men's shorts. Men's shorts, circa 1991, that at one time were impossibly big on the owner. Notice the heinously inappropriate and blatantly out of style double pleats. The dull and unflattering color of gray. Wake up people! These shorts were worn by the victim in high school! That was 13 years ago! Oh yes, she's a victim alright. A victim in a crime of fashion.

Don't avert your eyes. There is probably something very close to this lurking in your closet. You could be a victim too. You probably made the same excuses that she did. Eventually they will fit right. Oh they did. They fit, but they were already hopelessly outdated by then. I'll just wear them to clean or paint. You know, when I'm doing projects and yard work around the house. Ha! You foolish girl! You never wore them! And not because you didn't paint, it was because of THIS!

Exhibit B. That stain is actually a hardened candy. A candy that went through the wash and a drying cycle in 1991. The very year the victim first bought the shorts. Since then the pocket has been sealed shut. Completely unusable. Sad, but true. Please! Try not to avert your eyes. The truth must be told. Trust in the fact that since reading this book, the victim has eradicated all sorts of items (overly tight shirts, badly fitting pants, too small belts and one embarrassingly awful pair of Hush Puppies)from her closet.

They go quite nicely don't they? Please don't pity the poor girl. She's learned her lesson. They didn't even go to Good Will. They went directly into the trash.

We're having a Blog Blast today to celebrate the arrival of one awesome and inspiring book, The Little Black Book of Style. Head on over to PBN for some other horrific, sad and downright hilarious posts from other victims of bad taste.


  1. Oh, I am guilty of the men's clothes hanging out in my closet, too.

  2. LOL! This was great :) Don't make me take pictures of items I recently found in my closet when I moved- Augh!

  3. oooh - complete with candy?? (albeit washed & dried...) good one :) what is it about this stuff that makes it stick around?

  4. I have a pair of men's jeans that I bought because I loved the fit in the hips. My sister tells me I can never wear them again. But I like them!

  5. Oh that made me squirm.
    We need that book in the Uk.

    I've tagged you for a meme if you have the time by the way.
    Come and play. :D

  6. Hilarious. In the midst of my child-bearing years, I was known to have only one pair of shorts that were man shorts, too! Depressing.


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