A little bloodbath with your coffee?

Since I can remember, as far back as the age of three or so, I have always had very vivid and extremely violent dreams. It seems to run in the family. You want to taste something? Go ahead. It can be done in my dreams. In my dreams colors are extreme, especially red and black. They are usually very prominent factors too. Long hallways, dark forests, vasts empty lands, old houses full of dampness, caverns, caves, and tight enclosures abound. I don't need to see a horror flick for that type of action. I see it nearly every night in my dreams.

Why do I get the insane priviledge of witnessing skin peeling off someone? Torture that is in the extreme and never to be believed? I wish I knew. I wish I knew where my mind gets these images as I hate horror movies and will not watch them. I often wish I could erase it all. I hate what I see. How closely it resembles some insane things that really happen and how little power I have in each one. I am a futile figure and it pisses me off. I can easily say maybe only twice have I conquered whatever menace I find in these apocalyptic sequences.

They say, dream experts and those who aren't, that if you can find your demon in your dreams, the one that plagues you so much, you must kill it. You must tell yourself before you head to dreamland that you will extract your own revenge. Then you will be done with it forever. I've had friends tell me they've done it themselves. Samurai style and all. It works they cry triumphantly!

Hmmph. That has not been the case for me. In fact, last night, when I did manage to kill that son of a bitch that is always taunting me, I only made it stronger in the end. I stabbed my nemesis with a steak knife, twisting and reinserting the knife, while watching his eyes go black. It didn't work. It was only temporary. Now I'm good and pissed and for the remainder of the day I'll be the happy recipient of flashbacks blood and gore style. Fangs gnashing, rivers of blood flowing, howling dogs ripping flesh, car crashes, robberies, fires of intense heat and destruction, and so much more. Yup, that was just last night for an hour or two.

I wish I had dreams of flying. Dreams where I'm stressed about an exam or that I can't find my car or clothes. I would like to experience that just once. These dreams of such intensity are exhausting. Quentin Tarantino has nothing on me.