Monday, November 20, 2006

Tacky


We have new neighbors. Cue the ominous music Omen music. I knew it would be terribly hard to replace the neighbors we had before. We loved them. They became actual friends and we miss them a lot. From parenting advice and woes to cocktails on the deck after a long day they were wonderful to have nearby. More than once I actually went next door for an egg or cup of sugar. It was nice. It worked well. When they moved it left a little hole on our block.

Now we have The Frumps. I know moving day is hard and lots of work but my first glimpses which left me to only judge on appearance (I know that's wrong!)H and I both thought, "eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Frumpy and slightly redneckish. Hmm... My New Englandness came out. When I saw them jumping on the deck I thought, "Good grief!" I know they asked for a new deck foundation in their contract. But jumping on it? It's a new deck- give it a rest! Were they inside checking out that new fangled invention called indoor plumbing too?

The worst was this though. I know I may offend some of you out there but I have to say it. I have a no tolerance policy when it comes to lawn ornaments. I DON'T CARE how cute you think that plastic spotted fawn is. It's going. The 25 pink flamingos that graced another neighbors lawn. Bye Bye! Baby ducklings waddling up your garden path? Keep it in your backyard! No one wants to see that crap. No one meaning me. So when H and I went outside and saw that before moving anything into their house they had already placed a blue cat angel near the front step we both looked at each other and said, NO WAY! Hell NO! That thing has got to go! It's tacky. A BLUE CAT ANGEL? BLUE? CAT ANGEL?! WHAT?! I know it's suburbia and a banal point but it's not even a real creature! To me fake plastic or ceramic animals lend a certain quality to a house and that houses neighborhood. It's called no taste. Tacky. So long kitty!

As God as my witness that blue cat angel will not last. In the cover of night it will disappear. Just as sure as the plate of welcome brownies will appear and be delivered by me that blue cat angel will meet its end.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous6:49 PM

    blue cat angel?

    You have to kidnap it, take pictures (to post here) and send a ransome note.

    ReplyDelete

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