Monday, November 06, 2006

Not to be scary or anything...Ok just a little

I’m putting you on notice reader, especially if you are female. I want you to leave your comfy abode and go out and buy the book, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin DeBecker. If you are too comfy, order it off Amazon, directly from my site if you so choose. Just do it. Read it. It could save your life and here’s why.

This book is not new. DeBecker was featured on Oprah’s eons ago (1998) but his message is clear and easy to follow. Women, listen to your inner voice. It’s your gut, your instincts telling you exactly what you need to do, especially when you are in danger. That other voice, the sweet one you hear? The one that sees the good in everyone no matter what, that voice has been programmed into you during you life. The animal instinct one is the one you need to go by.

Let me share an example of these two voices as I experienced them a few weeks back.

Scene: Local strip mall parking lot. It’s near my house and I use it all the time. I parked in the middle to have access to everything.

As I parked I noticed that one space over from me was a white truck with a man sitting in it was next to me. He looked at me. I looked at him. I vaguely heard that instinct voice inside me say, “Hmmm…. keep your eye on him”. This is nothing new. I’ve actually always been a gut instinct person. It’s a part of me I’ve listened to since I was a kid. A kid who has had a few bad experiences and knows a thing or two about instincts in hindsight.

I set about running my errands throughout the strip mall. I emerged from one store and headed to my car to drop off my purchases. That was when I noticed the man slowly, oddly slowly, getting out of the truck. I approached my car, unlocked it and saw that he was standing by his car drinking a Red Bull and watching me. My instinct was roaring. It was firing off questions and alerts like, “What?! What do you want? Are you looking at me the way I think you are looking at me? Oh Hell NO! Hell’s NO! You better back OFF Mo-Fo, just back off!” He started to walk behind my car slowly, all the while intently watching me load my jumbo pack of diapers in the backseat. I kept my eye on him. I felt him near me, just at the trunk of my car staring. I turned and said, “What the fuck are you looking at ass-wipe?!” I said this really loud. One would think that yelling at a stranger in a parking lot and shouting expletives would make a normal person cringe and say something, excusing themselves away. Not this guy. He just kept staring and smiled a little half smirk at me. It spoke volumes. It said, “Talk now bitch, you’ll be in my trunk later. I have a special place for you.” At least that is what my instinct told me. Then the second voice chimed in. This sweet voice, raised to be nice and think only good of our fellow men said, “Well, maybe he’s just a grocery store employee on break in his truck and see he’s heading back to the store now.”

Except he didn’t head back to the store. The MF’er ducked behind a column near the grocery store and continued to stare at me. When he saw that I saw him he hid again. I immediately got in my car, locked it, and drove away. I still had errands to do in that shopping center so I drove behind the stores and waited. I checked my mirrors often. My instinct voice said to my sweet voice, “Shut up idiot! That man was clearly wrong. Just shut the F up!” I gathered my wits and drove to a new location. This time I went to my gym. I calmly went inside looking to the column and the creepy dude’s truck. It was still there. I then reported his ass to gym management. They apparently have had issue before with someone of his description robbing women in the parking lot and set about calling the cops.

“See!, my instinct voice said. I told you!” it chimed. I’m sure it was right. So just remember that next time you are going about your business no matter where you are, think of that instinct voice like this. It’s like when you watch a horror flick and the dumb girl in her underwear decides to venture into the dark basement. We all know the killer is down there and we are screaming at her and the movie screen to STOP! DON’T GO! She doesn’t listen and gets chopped to bits.

Listen to that voice no matter how dumb it seems when it says to lock your doors, check the stove, shut a window, look behind you, or to scream. Don’t talk it away with the sweet voice that makes excuses. LISTEN TO THE INSTINCT VOICE and buy Gavin DeBecker’s book, The Gift of Fear. It could scare the pants off you with it's real scenarios but it just may save your life too.


  1. I read this book several years ago and am constantly recommending it to friends and clients. His next book, Protecting the Gift, is also good.

  2. Thanks Jersey Girl! I'll look that one up. I too recommend it often.

  3. Anonymous2:36 PM

    I've heard of this book. Haven't read it yet, but I've always thought the title was perfect.

  4. And never trust a man in a van! Everyone should have learned that lesson after Silence of the Lambs.


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