For the Love of.....

You know that saying, "Be happy with what you've got...."? What about the one about being thankful for what you have? Yes, you know the ones I'm talking about. This past holiday I wanted to scream this a few times. I find myself wanting to do that more and more along with declaring, My Body, IT'S MY BODY!!!! Not YOURS!!! Get Back, SHUT UP! Then resorting to some bribery to get people to lay off this one simple "request"/question. When will you have another child?

Seriously? Seriously?! I just popped out a kid nine months ago and already family, friends, my waxer and a few random strangers are asking when we will have another. If they aren't asking that they just say, "Don't you think it's time to start having another one?" Geez!! Enough already! I had a hard enough time with Post-Partum, getting my body back (almost) and just dealing with the whole first year of being a parent. Throw in a full time job, a second job, a new business and a host of other occurrences and changes and it's been more than most do in a five year span. Why on earth would I want to get pregnant again?! I just want to enjoy T.D. as she is now for a while. Is that too much to ask?

I said to H recently, "You know people should just be thankful that we even had a kid because I never thought I would." For some reason a tiny window opened and I thought ok, I can do this. Let's have a baby. I love T.D. more than anything and I cherish our time together and love watching her grow, learn and take on life with her giant personality and smile. However, I am not physically or emotionally ready for a second kid. I think it's more important that I/we know that and understand our limits right now and not be pressured into just having another child for the sake of it.

Really with my personality the more someone asks me to do something the less inclined I am to actually do it. I am stubborn. It's my body that has to go through that again and my heart and mind. NOW EVERYONE NEEDS TO JUST CHILL OUT AND ENJOY THE ONE WE HAVE.

That's all...

The Perfect Run

Thanksgiving day dawned a nasty gray in our area. It was windy, cold and rainy. Growing up in New England this was nothing new, but here in the southern states it is usually sunny and to me unseasonably warm.

After sitting around the breakfast table with H's family for a good portion of the morning, I had been up with T.D. since the birds peeped their eyes open, I couldn't sit and let my breakfast burrito turn to a rock in my stomach. I had a whole day of eating ahead of me. I felt like a doughnut. I needed movement. When the collective group still in their pj's declared it was naptime I almost screamed. NAP TIME? NAPTIME?!? It's 10:30 people! I can't nap if I'm going to be eating all day in this overheated, full of people house!! I need to move! I looked at H and said, "I'm going for a run." My MIL said with wonder, "But it's rainy and cold out there." H unsurprised just asked, "Did you bring cold weather stuff?" Oh yes I did. I had checked the weather and knew that at some point a run/solitude would be necessary. I didn't think it would be a mere 12 hours after our arrival but I needed that run. I didn't care if there was ice on the ground I was getting out there.

Bundled up, weatherproofed and with my trusty iPod strapped on I set off. It's country out there and on the water. A rather nice combination. The wind was high and in some unprotected areas the rain, wind and sea was blowing me around quite a bit. I didn't care. I didn't feel the cold. I just pressed on until my lungs hurt and my chest felt like it was being stabbed. It was a good feeling really. I was working up a nice sweat and had good tunes blaring. The scenery was steel gray, misty and all together perfect. It felt like those winters growing up on the beaches of the New England coastline. I needed a feeling of familiarity that day I guess. While I love my husband's family they just can't replace the sense of emptiness I still feel each holiday without out my own family and their collective messes. Being close to the water with it's spray hitting my face and the seashell covered roads I felt just a little bit closer to my people and a bit more understood. My mood lifted and my heart opened a little bit more that day. I felt myself smiling for the first time in a week.

At the end of the run I found myself on a truly deserted road. Just me and the pine trees. 'Canned Heat' by Jamiroqaui suddenly blasted onto my iPod and if anything is going to get me to run it's a song like that. Energized once again I looked around me and realized, hmmmm I'm completely alone out here. DANCE! Just Dance! It's what the song told me to do so it's what I did. On some country road I ran up and down doing broadway-style moves, jazz steps I hadn't remembered since I was a eight, and whatever else I felt like throwing in there. It was a funk-disco marathon and it was exhilerating! I could not remember the last time I had danced in the rain like that, probably my early twenties, and I realized I just can't stop doing that type of stuff. I have to remember to keep it up no matter how grown up and old I get. It's what makes me, me.

Completely out of breath, smiling broader than I had in a long time, I literally danced and strutted back to my MIL's house no longer caring if anyone saw me do a little jig and two-step or two in the road or driveway.

(Take a little trip to the link in the title to listen to a bit of 'Canned Heat' yourself.)

Wanna Shed Some Holiday Pounds?

Sure everyone does right? We all tend to overindulge from oh about Halloween to right after New Year's when we have renewed our gym membership and vow to become svelte that year! Supposedly many Americans will gain between one to eleven!! pounds this holiday season. ELEVEN?! What are you guzzling eggnog while cramming whole briskets into your piehole?

Anyway, so here is what H and I discovered this past weekend. It's a surefire way to lose those extra pounds. It's called food poisoning! Great idea huh? Yeah, it worked for me too. I got sick on Saturday night, as did H, and by Monday morning I had lost 4 lbs!! Am I giddy? No, not really, I'm still freakin' exhausted from living on the bathroom floor with a bucket, tub, toilet and trashcan as my best friend. All while H is in another bathroom doing the same thing and someone, anyone is trying to watch T.D. T.D. who thankfully declined dinner with us Saturday opting for the ultra-safe jar of Stage 3 sweet potatoes instead. Smart dictator she is.

I don't wish food poisoning on anyone. It's truly awful. It's even worse when both people in the house have it. It's quadrupily worse when there's an infant involved. An infant who just started climbing everything in sight and crawls like she's getting ready for a Nascar race. Eeesh. By the end of the day Sunday H and I had moved all baby needed gear to the den to avoid numerous trips up and down stairs. We napped when the czar napped and let her play wherever in the den avoiding the few electrical outlets we've yet to babyproof. Who knew T.D. could crawl behind the TV. I sure didn't. We're lucky that Netflix sent movies recently and we had a weeks worth of stuff in the DVR that we actually wanted to watch. By 6 p.m. I had managed to nurse a glass of juice for about four hours and we all called it a day when T.D. went down at 7 p.m.

I did incidentally step on the scale this morning after H declared, "I looked all skinny and stuff". I lost 3-4 pounds. Wow! Still I wouldn't do that weight loss program again!



***** UPDATE******* My MIL just emailed me. Apparently it's not food poisoning. It's the flu. Gross. It's now going around the family. Joy. Nothing like spreading the holiday cheer!

Question of the Week

Sanctimommy \sangk'temame\. Noun. A Mom who loves to get on her high horse about everything from school to snacks.

I found this funny little blurb in Parenting magazine this week and YES! I do know her! We all do don't we? Question is, what do you do when you run across her or have to deal with her for a playdate or two? Do you run the other way? Smile and nod? Or gnash your teeth and want to catch her feeding her kids junk later?

That's the question of the week kiddies. How do you handle the Sanctimommy on your block?

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. H & I will be traveling to his Mom's for the big day. T.D in true dictator fashion is already down there. She was privately chauffered on Sunday as dictators cannot risk sitting in traffic with the common folks. She's been enjoying a little R&R from daycare and supervising to her heart's content on the Thanksgiving feast.

Have a great Turkey Day all! See you in a few.

Time to pack it in Sweetie and call it a day...

Product of the Week!

So I don't have any marvelous, exciting product to share with you this week. I do have some small words of wisdom though that I could impart or things I've learned recently. It seems to be a week of sharing and giving thanks so here goes my attempt at feelings...

1. Relationships no matter what type need to be nurtured. They take both people. If one person is always the one working on the relationship well quite frankly, that friendship or marriage is broken and needs to both people to be repaired.

2. Chocolate yogurt is really good.

3. Thanksgiving without stuffed celery or the Macy's Day parade is just not the same.

4. Greeting someone with "Hi, I'm really busy! I can only talk for a second." is in fact rude. It's also old and lame. Stop using it.

5. Just because someone is of child-bearing age doesn't mean she has to actually bear a child.

6. I'm thankful for bright red leaves, sunshine and my family.

7. I'm now going to throw up in my trashcan after having wrote that.

8. Various types of wine and small dessert items seem like a good idea at the time but early the next morning when a cranky baby doesn't think you actually need that coffee it's evident that the last glass of shiraz and bite of petit four probably wasn't that good.

9. It doesn't matter how you celebrate a holiday just as long as it's with people you like. Not people you can tolerate for a few hours.

10. Fake cockroaches in the office fridge are funny. Real ones are not.

Now THAT's a little bit of justice

As I was mundanely hanging clothes in my closet last night I listened to NPR and heard the juicy news story that NewsCorp, the Rupert Murdoch owned company that owns Fox and HarperCollins, has canceled OJ's (ick) book and his interview with Judith Regan. Why did this all happen? Why are books being destroyed and returned to the publisher? Simply because of the massive amount of revulsion by the public and the news media. Even Bill O'Reilly got on the anti-OJ book/interview bandwagon last week. It has also been reported that the large amounts of internet scorn (read blogs) and talk show vomit spewed last week was so harsh they knew it was a bad and even offensive idea. Smart. At last! Now that's justice!

Incidentally Mr. Simpson claims he feels muzzled now because of this. Funny how the tables have turned isn't it Mr. Simpson? I'm sure some people in your past felt muzzled at some point too.

A little Oh my God and Woo Woo!

Click on the title and read Friday's entry, November 17, 2006.

Tacky

We have new neighbors. Cue the ominous music Omen music. I knew it would be terribly hard to replace the neighbors we had before. We loved them. They became actual friends and we miss them a lot. From parenting advice and woes to cocktails on the deck after a long day they were wonderful to have nearby. More than once I actually went next door for an egg or cup of sugar. It was nice. It worked well. When they moved it left a little hole on our block.

Now we have The Frumps. I know moving day is hard and lots of work but my first glimpses which left me to only judge on appearance (I know that's wrong!)H and I both thought, "eeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Frumpy and slightly redneckish. Hmm... My New Englandness came out. When I saw them jumping on the deck I thought, "Good grief!" I know they asked for a new deck foundation in their contract. But jumping on it? It's a new deck- give it a rest! Were they inside checking out that new fangled invention called indoor plumbing too?

The worst was this though. I know I may offend some of you out there but I have to say it. I have a no tolerance policy when it comes to lawn ornaments. I DON'T CARE how cute you think that plastic spotted fawn is. It's going. The 25 pink flamingos that graced another neighbors lawn. Bye Bye! Baby ducklings waddling up your garden path? Keep it in your backyard! No one wants to see that crap. No one meaning me. So when H and I went outside and saw that before moving anything into their house they had already placed a blue cat angel near the front step we both looked at each other and said, NO WAY! Hell NO! That thing has got to go! It's tacky. A BLUE CAT ANGEL? BLUE? CAT ANGEL?! WHAT?! I know it's suburbia and a banal point but it's not even a real creature! To me fake plastic or ceramic animals lend a certain quality to a house and that houses neighborhood. It's called no taste. Tacky. So long kitty!

As God as my witness that blue cat angel will not last. In the cover of night it will disappear. Just as sure as the plate of welcome brownies will appear and be delivered by me that blue cat angel will meet its end.

Huh.

Huh, is about all I can say at this point. I'm always amazed and I don't know why when I hear people say things like what Judith Regan spewed from her piehole this week. Regan is a publisher who is not only publishing the new OJ book (I loathe even putting his name on my blog) but will also be interviewing him on Fox soon. Oh Yippie Freakin' Skippie!

Radio talk showhost Don Imus had Mike Lupica of the NY Daily News on today. That's nothing new. If you want new listen to the uncovered tapes they found of Terry Bradshaw singing the lonesome country blues. Yikes! Lupica describes with blatant disgust his article on Regan and how despicable she really is. He refers to her as a hyena to be exact. It's not just her philandering ways but her claim that that she's really only interviewing OJ (ick) to bring justice to women around the world who have been victims of domestic violence. WHAT? EXCUSE ME? SAY AGAIN SWEETIE?!

Regan is giving this jerk off more air time and money to talk about "IF" he did it this is how he did it. This DOES NOT bring justice to the victims. It's a slap in the face. Funny, I'm not feeling justified. I'm just feeling insulted. Insulted and wanting to inflict a little bodily harm to Judith Regan. As Imus put it so eloquently this morning, "she's a self-serving, self-indulgent bitch." Yup. She's a money grubbing whore too.

Harsh I know. But really why hide it? I hid other things for too long and I was done with that a long time ago. Regan is a hyena, the lowest form of bottomfeeder.

Question of the Week

Ok people. You know the drill. It's the Question of the Week/Month whatever. You might have heard about the woman from Sante Fe, NM who got kicked off a Delta airlines flight this week for breastfeeding her child. She was asked once to cover up with a blanket. When she declined the blanket offer they kicked her off the plane.

Fair or Unfair? Tell me what you think?

Smart Men

I am not afraid of needles. The sight of blood does not bother me. In fact, I rather like that pinch you feel as the needle goes diving into your vein searching for my hemoglobin. BUT, I cannot have a throat culture done to save my life. I swear, any physician that tries one on me is in for a world of hurt or at least a bit of a blow.

I punch. Yes, punch. I will hit you right in the face if you try to do a throat culture on me. I have a long history of throwing punches. Sitting on my hands as one doctor suggested just doesn't work. One friend found the whole thing so funny she had to put her coat over her head while sitting in on my exam because she could not stop laughing at the doctor's plight. It should be in my file. 'Patient displays punching reflex when throat culture is attempted. All attempts to hold her down only result in kicking.' Really, it is sort of comical.

Once, a doctor thought she could overcome it. She tried to reason with me. She asked me to sit on my hands. She had me lay down. She even suggested I try to culture myself. I just looked at her and smiled sadly, shaking my head. "You don't understand do you? It simply can't be done. I dare you try." She did. She got walloped in the face. Right smack in the nose. She had the nerve to act surprised and then mad afterwards. I warned her though. When I stupidly stopped taking my meds halfway through and had to go back a week later she glared at me saying, "I remember you..." and just chucked more antibiotics at me and told me to leave. She actually said she hoped to not see me again. Ouch.

This brings me to yesterday when I thought Urgent Care or my regular doctor? Sure, I go could go to Urgent Care and be seen really quick vs. waiting for an appointment with my doctor but then I would have to go through the whole rigamarole of explaining the punching. Convincing the nice doctor that she really didn't want a blow to the face. I opted to wait it out and take the appointment with my regular doctor. He looked at my throat, declared it red. He felt my glands, swollen. He said, no culture needed. YEAH! I said, good because I would have punched you. He said, "I remember and I'm not a masochist." Smart man!

Later in the day as I whimpered in bed H brought me flowers, a balloon, and a card. Another smart man! As he crawled into the sick bed with me he said, "My throat hurts." We should be quarantined.

Product of the Week!

I do not claim to have beautiful, luxuriant hair by any means. It's color-treated, blow dryed and sometimes full of product. It's also baby fine which makes finding a good styling product difficult. That is why I can safely say without a doubt that Frederic Fekkai's Glossing Creme works! It goes on easily in wet, damp or even dry hair. It adds shine no matter when I put it in which is hard for a blonde sometimes. It protects my locks from the heat I blast on it daily, it's a great detangler, and doesn't oil up or weigh my hair down. I use it EVERY day. I don't even use the same shampoo or conditioner every day. I have been using Fekkai's Glossing Creme for about four years now; ever since Neiman's oh so sweetly included a nice sample of it in a gift bag. I love it! I really do. If I didn't I wouldn't send it out to you people. Now go! Click over to Amazon and purchase a tube as if your life depended on it. It also makes a great stocking stuffer!

Cantankerous Me

Obviously I've been on a bit of a rant the last few days. Chalk it up to post-election fever or what have you. Regardless my undies have been in a bunch. This past weekend I think I was given too much time to think as H was away at a seminar and it was just T.D. and I hanging out. That four hour nap she took on Saturday left me with time to ponder as I did my Christmas cards (yes, I know, I did my Christmas cards already). I'm also done with stocking stuffers and all but a few left on my 'To buy for' list.

I started thinking about how it will be in a few months when I'm home with T.D. full time and looking for freelance work, eeking out my exsistence as a writer, as well as, working on the family business. It's a lot of roles to play on top of getting used to being with my kid 24/7. I told H I feel like I should be drilling T.D. with flashcards and foreign language tapes from day one that I'm home. The whole thing makes me scared as hell that I'll be bored and H will come home to me only being able to converse about poopy diapers and how many times T.D. tried to eat the dog's food. Sigh....

I keep telling myself I wanted this. I do. It's just so foreign to me. Me a person who honestly never pictured herself with a child much less staying home with that kid. I'm not sure how to live up to the task and not drown in the monotany that can be every day at home and on a smaller income. I will just have to figure it out as I go along.

That being said I must remind myself of these things:

1. What you put into it is what you get out of it (that was drilled into me in my old sorority girl days about being part of the sisterhood. It worked then so why not now.)

2. Negative feelings out= negativity in.

3. The universe gives back what you give out. Same as above really.

4. Blah, blah, blah....

5. Lastly, go to the gym regularly. They have free daycare and I can reduce the
size of my cooking baking butt too!

Recite these things to self each day until I no longer need to drill a hole in my head for feeling. That's a joke.

Add this to your to do list

Did anyone happen to catch Friday's 20/20? I don't normally watch but a promo grabbed my attention and I had to DVR it. Over the weekend I replayed it and listened intently to their piece on whether or not working mothers can really have it all.

I can't help but feel unsatisfied and yes, frustrated and angered by some of this piece. Despite statistics stating the working mothers are some of the best employees to have as they are reliable, loyal, and hard working, some companies will not hire women who are single mom's or might be having children in the next few years. This was an actual quote from an HR rep from an unnamed company! Cut to a CEO of another Fortune 500 company who restates the stats that working mothers are an assest but trying to get funding for daycare at the job place or additional benefits he is always denied. It was also stated that the U.S. is behind every other country in the world except for Papua New Guinea and Australia for maternity leave benefits. So sad but I've heard this numerous times. North Korea even beats us!

What I found so frustrating about this piece, besides the sad state of affairs are country is in as far as childcare and family benefits, is that it ended with this. Ok so we know the problem but now it's up to us mothers to add one more item to our 'To Do' lists and fight the problem. Haven't we been doing this?

We have made strives since our mothers paved the way in the 1970's. It's also becoming clear that "having it all" is really a state of mind and more often than not extremely hard to obtain. It's not impossible but what really kills me is that lots of people feel that if it's not their problem then they don't want anything to do with it. Really? The future of our society only lays in the hands of those who bear children?! Hmm... We are the only ones who should shill out tax dollars and fight for these rights? Just families with kids? Interesting. Seems to me that those without kids should help out too because they can be adversely or not adversely affected later as society continues it's swirl down the drain.

But that's just me. It's just my opinion. We all live here and if we all protect the earth and we all want a better, safer, smarter country that doesn't fall behind tecnologically, economically and socially we all have to take responsiblity for our future and that means taking care of each other.

Raging Inner War

Long before I had T.D. there was this inner war raging inside me. One might say it was a war against women. Well, a certain type of woman, more like a girl. Those silly, stupid, vapidly shallow girls who prance, and I do mean prance, around in ridiculous clothes bringing down the rest of us.

When I say this, it's not out of jealousy or anything like that, it's in despair. It's despair I feel when I go to the mall and see four year old's wearing glitter eye makeup preening in a store window while shaking their booty and asking if they are sexy. I literally sat in bed last night wondering what I would do if T.D. ever asked at the tender age of 4 if she's sexy. NO!!! You are not supposed to be sweetie. Augh! So why do some supposedly smart women give in and think it's cute to insult their kids this way?

It's sadness and woe as well as intense anger when I hear teenage girls obsessing about plastic surgery, parents ALLOWING boob jobs on teens, girls conforming and giving in to boys just to have them show them attention for a day or so. They wear shirts that say, "Good in Bed? Ask your boyfriend." or "Who needs a brain when you have these." I don't need to type out what she's referring to.

It is with white hot fury and again more despair when I hear a young woman in my office declaring, "like, is it bad if I don't care about voting?" YES! Yes, it's really bad. Be an adult! Know the world around you and care about your future because if you just stay passive someone will decide it for you. I don't want to hear you later complaining you hate what is going on in the world! At least TRY to make a difference. I got so riled up on this issue today another girl confessed she isn't registered but hearing me rant and rave about how important it is to vote she now will. Good. I hope she does.

Mainly it boils down to this. Yes, everyone wants to be considered attractive, that's human. But why is it ok to be a whore now or smart to play it dumb? If your daughter likes girly stuff, that's fine. I'm girly too. If she wants to dress in fairy clothes, rock on with that honey. Just don't jam it down her throat as that is the only way a little girl should be. That the only way she can win at life is to play the dumb girl in life or to think what lipgloss she wears really makes a difference. Let's raise our daughters to be responsible women who are strong in mind and body and know their worth. And their worth isn't what a man thinks of them or whatever sexual message they display on their t-shirt du jour.

I know it's a rant but I really do freak out sometimes that no matter what I do T.D. will be some vapid girl who twirls her hair, doesn't vote, thinks her worth is in her ass and breasts and not her brain and I guess selfishly, that if she is like that I'll feel a failure as a mother.

On that note I leave with this. T.D. went to the polls twice yesterday. Once with me and another time with H. Each time she worked the room like a the benevolent dictator she is and scored two "I Voted." stickers. I took a picture for later use.

Want it, Need it, Have to have it

Recently I've noticed a boom in the self-storage business in my area. These facilities range from small to exceptionally large sites where you can store your stuff for whatever reason. Moving soon? Selling a home? New stuff? Store it at a self storage place. What I find so crazy is that there are some people out there, we'll call them addicts, who buy so much stuff for their homes they NEED a self-storage unit to hide the new stuff from there families. Yikes! Being a reformed addict I have to say I never considered this option. Apparently though it's quite common.

If you need self storage for whatever reason though and you live in the Rosedale, CA area why not try Pleasant Grove Self Storage. If you need a little more room in your house or are planning a big move call Pleasant Grove Self Storage. Need a truck to help with that? Pleasant Grove Self Storage offers them for free! They have multiple ways to pay for the services as well as offering a 10% discount to those in the military. That in itself is a really good thing as those in the military already know. Pleasant Grove Self Storage prides itself on being a quality company you can trust with world class service so if you are in the Rosedale area give them a call.

Product of the Week!

This product is a long time favorite of mine. It's Kiss My Face's Moisture Shave. I personally LOVE the Key Lime scented one. It's light and all of Kiss My Face's products are all natural and organic. So you can feel good about buying this product and they don't test on animals. They are nicely priced too! The 11 ounce bottle of the Moisture Shave retails for about $6. It goes on smoothly and unlike a gel shave product it only produces a thin coating on your skin. No residue is left behind or collecting on your razor. Really beyond me gushing about this product too much the website says it all. The natural ingredients help heal the skin and refresh it. Kiss My Face products contain no animal ingredients, artificial colors, or unnecessary chemicals and are not tested on animals. They even have a way to refill some other products so you don't produce a lot of package waste.

You can easily purchase this great product, which comes in a variety of other scents like lavender, peach, unscented, and cool mint, off of Amazon or the Kiss My Face website.

Not to be scary or anything...Ok just a little

I’m putting you on notice reader, especially if you are female. I want you to leave your comfy abode and go out and buy the book, The Gift of Fear, by Gavin DeBecker. If you are too comfy, order it off Amazon, directly from my site if you so choose. Just do it. Read it. It could save your life and here’s why.

This book is not new. DeBecker was featured on Oprah’s eons ago (1998) but his message is clear and easy to follow. Women, listen to your inner voice. It’s your gut, your instincts telling you exactly what you need to do, especially when you are in danger. That other voice, the sweet one you hear? The one that sees the good in everyone no matter what, that voice has been programmed into you during you life. The animal instinct one is the one you need to go by.

Let me share an example of these two voices as I experienced them a few weeks back.

Scene: Local strip mall parking lot. It’s near my house and I use it all the time. I parked in the middle to have access to everything.

As I parked I noticed that one space over from me was a white truck with a man sitting in it was next to me. He looked at me. I looked at him. I vaguely heard that instinct voice inside me say, “Hmmm…. keep your eye on him”. This is nothing new. I’ve actually always been a gut instinct person. It’s a part of me I’ve listened to since I was a kid. A kid who has had a few bad experiences and knows a thing or two about instincts in hindsight.

I set about running my errands throughout the strip mall. I emerged from one store and headed to my car to drop off my purchases. That was when I noticed the man slowly, oddly slowly, getting out of the truck. I approached my car, unlocked it and saw that he was standing by his car drinking a Red Bull and watching me. My instinct was roaring. It was firing off questions and alerts like, “What?! What do you want? Are you looking at me the way I think you are looking at me? Oh Hell NO! Hell’s NO! You better back OFF Mo-Fo, just back off!” He started to walk behind my car slowly, all the while intently watching me load my jumbo pack of diapers in the backseat. I kept my eye on him. I felt him near me, just at the trunk of my car staring. I turned and said, “What the fuck are you looking at ass-wipe?!” I said this really loud. One would think that yelling at a stranger in a parking lot and shouting expletives would make a normal person cringe and say something, excusing themselves away. Not this guy. He just kept staring and smiled a little half smirk at me. It spoke volumes. It said, “Talk now bitch, you’ll be in my trunk later. I have a special place for you.” At least that is what my instinct told me. Then the second voice chimed in. This sweet voice, raised to be nice and think only good of our fellow men said, “Well, maybe he’s just a grocery store employee on break in his truck and see he’s heading back to the store now.”

Except he didn’t head back to the store. The MF’er ducked behind a column near the grocery store and continued to stare at me. When he saw that I saw him he hid again. I immediately got in my car, locked it, and drove away. I still had errands to do in that shopping center so I drove behind the stores and waited. I checked my mirrors often. My instinct voice said to my sweet voice, “Shut up idiot! That man was clearly wrong. Just shut the F up!” I gathered my wits and drove to a new location. This time I went to my gym. I calmly went inside looking to the column and the creepy dude’s truck. It was still there. I then reported his ass to gym management. They apparently have had issue before with someone of his description robbing women in the parking lot and set about calling the cops.

“See!, my instinct voice said. I told you!” it chimed. I’m sure it was right. So just remember that next time you are going about your business no matter where you are, think of that instinct voice like this. It’s like when you watch a horror flick and the dumb girl in her underwear decides to venture into the dark basement. We all know the killer is down there and we are screaming at her and the movie screen to STOP! DON’T GO! She doesn’t listen and gets chopped to bits.

Listen to that voice no matter how dumb it seems when it says to lock your doors, check the stove, shut a window, look behind you, or to scream. Don’t talk it away with the sweet voice that makes excuses. LISTEN TO THE INSTINCT VOICE and buy Gavin DeBecker’s book, The Gift of Fear. It could scare the pants off you with it's real scenarios but it just may save your life too.

Rock the Vote

I should have never opened my mouth. Or stopped by his cube. I should just be slapped silly for doing this. I admit I was feeling a bit fired up today about the November elections next week. Mainly because I'm just so sick of the wasted oxygen over stuff that doesn't matter. I just want to yell at both parties and say, "Grow up! You are public servants! Officials elected to do a job serving your communities! Now shut up, sit down and do your job! Stop arguing over party line crap and listen to the people." Geez....

So when I went over for a friendly mid-morning hello (I stop by many coworkers cubes to say hi during the day, that's just me.)I didn't anticipate (really I didn't) the diatribe I was subjected to. Apprently people like me do not exsist. I boggle his mind and therefore he is now worried about me. First off, I never said what I believe or feel because that is not proper office talk. It's no one's business who you vote for (see Mom I learned something.) so don't ask anyone. It's personal. I will say I'm an Independent so I can at anytime vote whichever way. Scary huh? It is to the office asshat. My soul is now in jeopardy because I MIGHT not vote his way. Or I may. He has no idea but he lambasted me for a full 15 minutes before I left. Why I thought I could do any good by telling him, "I am informed and that's all you need to know..." I have no idea. It didn't work. It just made him convinced I was against his way of voting. AUGH!!!

Now I'm really fired up.

Here's the thing readers, it's just so important to vote with your heart and for what you believe no matter what it is. Get out there next week on November 7th and vote!! It does make a difference in the end and your voice is heard. Keep pushing for what you believe and change will come even if it's small or not easily seen at first glance. You do make a difference and every vote does indeed count.

**This message was brought to you by the letter V, as in VOTE, on November 7th.**

November's Blog Exchange- Open Letter

Candy, Candy, Candy I Can't Let You Go...

An Open Letter To My Kids' Trick Or Treat Bag:

We have to end this. It's wrong. You know it. I know it. My husband knows it. My son knows it.

It's not love I have for you, it's lust. I wish I could say it meant something when I dive my hand deep inside you. Or when I fondle your orange head with one hand, while the other tickles and caresses every inch of wrapper.

But don't kid yourself. I'm using you. I'm using you for a short, sweet in the mouth guilt. Pleasure. Pure pleasure.

We know it won't last. And we know you will only leave me feeling fat.

So we're ending this now, before it even begins. Go ahead and use those crooked to teeth to stare at me. Mock me. But I am NOT cheating this year. It ends here. At year 3.

3-year-old can count their tootsie rolls. Those yummy, tootsie lumps. He'll know. I'll know. You will know.

It's over.
Happy Halloween


Erin, Queen of Spain's Bio: Erin spent eight years bringing you live, breaking news on-the-air at Los Angeles news institution KFWB and other broadcasting outlets. She has six Golden Mike Awards stashed in the closet from those KFWB Los Angeles days including "Best Investigative Reporting: Port in Peril," the piece that touched off dozens of local, state and federal hearings on our nation's port security. (Not to mention a swarm of similar stories and investigations by news networks across the nation.)

Erin has spent the past three years making her own headlines on the motherhood front, with the birth of a son in 2003 and a daughter in 2005. But never without critiquing the evening news and second-guessing an editor's choice of morning headlines.

She chronicles the afterlife of big city reporter turned Mommy at her personal blog where she is known as the "Queen of Spain."

***You can find my Open Letter on Erin's site
here. Click on the title link to read other open letters in this month's blog exchange.***