Thursday, June 01, 2006

It is not even 5 a.m. in our house and something strange is going on. There's a noise that I'm not familiar with coming from the nursery. No I'm not going to say that it was quiet. It wasn't. That was the thing. It wasn't quiet and it wasn't crying. It sounded familiar but I couldn't quite place it yet. Then, I knew. Of course- it's the Beatles 'Can't Buy Me Love'. Seems while I was in the shower little T.D. had woken up and my husband decided she needed some mood music. Why not start the day with some of the classics. It made her happy and what is not to like when the tiny despot is sated?

This week has been a blur. After four blissful days off from work and the hectic schedule we keep I feel like the last few days have been neverending. There is always so much going on. Including my last therapy session. I have to say that it's not the most fun thing in the world to sit in a room for an hour and hear repeatedly- What do you hope to gain or get from your sessions? How does that make you feel? Along with the hmmms the counselor produces as well. Sometimes I wonder, am I looking her in the eye enough? Am I supposed to be crying? It's all too much. All this while I tell her that yes, I do feel calmer. Geez.... How come it is that once you begin this process other "issues" come up that you never knew you had? Or anyone else knew you had? According to her my chronic list making (yeah, I make like 4 sets of lists a day on average and post them all over my stuff and bring them home to be promptly thrown out by my husband who sees they all say the same damn thing!) Of course I don't think this is obsessive compulsive and I have no idea why on earth I mentioned to her that I do this but now I'm wondering am I? Do I have OCD? I'm supposed to be monitoring my anxiety as well and mulling over why I have it and if I think I need to be "evaluated". See! It never freakin' ends!!!

I think what I need is a little retail therapy. Seriously. I bought a divine black bag this week and wallet and I have to say I'm still in a state of humming happiness over it. That and the amazing DVF black wrap dress I found at the Rack on Sunday. Quelle suprise and delight to find that dress after searching for it for years! Yes, years! And it fit my post baby body! These things make me happy! That and the zoloft.

Til next time....

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